Well the weekend has gone well. I’ve gone dark and only responded to text about our son. She left him at home Friday night and went out with her friend to eat. Last night she dropped him off at her parents and she went out with friends and spent the night away from home. I didn’t answer any calls and finally responded late this afternoon.
When I got home she says she has filled out divorce papers online. I said that’s fine and that I would give them to my lawyer. She was very emotional I didn’t get into any R talk. She wanted to argue about just doing it online. Mentioned split custody etc.. Wants me to pay the mortgage and have the house sold within 6 months.
We lost Friday night game and won Saturday so I was busy with my job.
She constantly text me to let me know what she was doing and where she was at the entire time. I don’t believe any of it. It was OM weekend to not have his kids. I can only imagine. She did send pics to verify but that doesn’t mean anything.
Do not agree to do it online. Do not agree to mediation. Do not agree to use the same attorney.
These are all easy outs for her, especially since Georgia is in fact an "at fault" divorce state where infidelity or adultery can affect everything from spousal support to, in some cases, child custody. But I am assuming your attorney has told you all of this already..
I, myself, am an attorney, although I do not and have not ever worked in the area of family law. I do, obviously, no people who do, though, and I've also seen several friends go through the divorce ringer and learn from these mistakes the hard way. I'm not suggesting that the divorce proceedings should be used by you as a punitive measure against her, but, on the other hand, you should not go out of your way to make this easy on her either. There are consequences to the way she behaved, and, by the same token, you should not have to pay any financial or custody consequences for her indiscretions.
For what it's worth, I think you handle it the right way by saying to refer it to your attorney. Hopefully, he's a shark. By all accounts from my friends in the field, and the from other friends who have gone through the process, having a shark is pretty much the only way to go.
Best of luck to you, however it turns out, and hope you have a happy and successful New Year!
H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7
"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
Do not agree to do it online. Do not agree to mediation. Do not agree to use the same attorney.
These are all easy outs for her, especially since Georgia is in fact an "at fault" divorce state where infidelity or adultery can affect everything from spousal support to, in some cases, child custody. But I am assuming your attorney has told you all of this already..
I, myself, am an attorney, although I do not and have not ever worked in the area of family law. I do, obviously, no people who do, though, and I've also seen several friends go through the divorce ringer and learn from these mistakes the hard way. I'm not suggesting that the divorce proceedings should be used by you as a punitive measure against her, but, on the other hand, you should not go out of your way to make this easy on her either. There are consequences to the way she behaved, and, by the same token, you should not have to pay any financial or custody consequences for her indiscretions.
For what it's worth, I think you handle it the right way by saying to refer it to your attorney. Hopefully, he's a shark. By all accounts from my friends in the field, and the from other friends who have gone through the process, having a shark is pretty much the only way to go.
Best of luck to you, however it turns out, and hope you have a happy and successful New Year!
I saw a lawyer about 4 months ago and paid a retainer fee for him and yes he is a Shark. That’s exactly why I went to him. I got him before the OM’s wife could get him also. She filled out papers online and I told her to file have me served or give them to me and I will turn them over to my lawyer.
Process is just beginning. I’m sure from here it only gets as ugly as I want to make it. She definitely wants the easy way out with doing it online. I think everything has come to a head. Her job is no longer in jeopardy so she can move forward without fear of me using evidence against her. She has cried all night and I haven’t been a comfort for her. She came in mentioning the good times and memories etc... Amazingly I feel pretty good about it.
I think I am at the place of accepting whatever may happen. I will not just agree to everything she sets out in the papers. She wants split custody and 50/50 split of debt and assets. We only owe on our house and credit cards and we have no assets other than equity in our home. I did tell her I would not leave my home and that I might just buy out her half. I think I might could manage.
Do most women get this emotional when they start the process? She can’t stop crying. I’m not buying it though because I know it’s just about guilt and shame for what has been done.
Guilt and shame for what she has done means she has a conscience, P.
If she won't hear your pain then by all means you don't have to entertain her talks. Since you aren't filing for divorce I take it you still have hopes for your marriage.
Your last sentence sounds quite harsh. Do you think that mindset is going to help your or your sitch at all? It seems like a good opportunity to validate and hear her. But if you can't then you can't, I get that.
Why do you think she was trying to prove where she was of she was hellbent on pushing through this divorce? I'm not saying to believe it was not a show, but these actions could mean something positive.
Last edited by ovrrnbw; 01/13/2003:54 AM.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Guilt and shame for what she has done means she has a conscience, P.
If she won't hear your pain then by all means you don't have to entertain her talks. Since you aren't filing for divorce I take it you still have hopes for your marriage.
Your last sentence sounds quite harsh. Do you think that mindset is going to help your or your sitch at all? It seems like a good opportunity to validate and hear her. But if you can't then you can't, I get that.
Why do you think she was trying to prove where she was of she was hellbent on pushing through this divorce? I'm not saying to believe it was not a show, but these actions could mean something positive.
Oh no I eventually validated and she said thank you for listening to me but I realize it’s where she is. She doesn’t mean anything about it other than she has guilt and remorse for what she has done and for deciding to end the marriage. She didn’t wear her wedding ring all weekend and may not going forward. However, I still validated and told her I know this is tough and that I will be fine either way etc....
