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Originally Posted by job
Andrew, we all care about you, your S25, the cats and your home. But honestly, she's way ahead of you in the planning department and unless you put the brakes on, this train is going to hit you full speed long before the end of the school year.

If you aren't comfortable w/something...tell her and if you need to say no, then say it. It's too late once the gang has moved in a business started out of your home. I see "taking advantage of a good thing" written all over this. I do hope that I am wrong...
Thanks job. You've been right more than enough times for me to take whatever you say very seriously.
Originally Posted by kml
Ooohh - just one more (important) thought - if she's going to operate her business out of your home (which you have said is commercially zoned, so that's good) - she needs to pay for business liability insurance that will cover YOU. Imagine a client of hers trips on your stairs and breaks their hip, and sues YOU for the unsafe condition. DEFINITELY make sure you are insured for a business in your home.
I actually gave my broker a heads-up earlier today and they responded very similarly. I'd asked them to update the rider on my policy that I had when B was here so that her stuff was covered to change the name and also mentioned the potential home based business. I've also reached out to the Township to ask about any tax implications and rules around signage. Best to know all the facts and rules that can impact a decision in advance. When I did free-lance work I think they added on about $30/year in my taxes and the office equipment was covered under the home policy. I didn't have people coming here though.

Most people just do this sort of stuff ignoring the rules etc. I'm not them.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
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While I appreciate your efforts to cover yourself, aren’t these things that S should be at least helping with? This is her business after all. I think you were right to check on such things to get all your ducks in a row, but she needs to get hers lined up too.


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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But Dawn, Andrew is the one at risk here, not her, so it behooves him to make sure he’s covered. I would expect that regular homeowners liability coverage would not extend to a home based budiness and hecc x will need a separate policy of rider to cover that. S doesn’t have any assets so if an injured client sued her for a slip and fall they wouldn’t get anything. But if they sue Andrew he could lose his house and assets. So he really needs to buy the policy and get reimbursed by her, rather than rely on her to make the payments.

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I’m sorry. I wish you could step outside and see what’s happening here, I know you are a go with everyone else’s flow yes man, but if anytime in your life you are going to be be the leader and make a decision yourself that someone else might not be totally happy with...... now is that time. Waaaaaayyy too many things are at risk here. For you personally, and a 12 year old boy.

What is god’s name is her rush?????

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I hate to join the chorus but, those poor, poor kids. Please look at your own son and see how hard this has been on him and he is double S’s son’s age. And S is ditching her responsibilities and passing them to s18. These are mere children who have already had too much turmoil.

Why not try telling her it is too soon for ALL parties involved and see how she reacts. It is a great way to test the relationship. It is weird and strange how calculating she is with this plan. She seems to have it all figured out and yet it’s been a few months. Why can’t she rent the commercial space from you? This is the mutually beneficial option.

I have a 14 and 16 year old and I am telling you, 2 years post my ex leaving to “find himself” it is much too soon to move them in with a man or move a man in.

Please consider the kids in all this. Someone has to do so.

Really look objectively at her decision making skills.


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
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Originally Posted by kml
But Dawn, Andrew is the one at risk here, not her, so it behooves him to make sure he’s covered. I would expect that regular homeowners liability coverage would not extend to a home based budiness and hecc x will need a separate policy of rider to cover that. S doesn’t have any assets so if an injured client sued her for a slip and fall they wouldn’t get anything. But if they sue Andrew he could lose his house and assets. So he really needs to buy the policy and get reimbursed by her, rather than rely on her to make the payments.


Oh I get that, totally. That is why I said I applaud his efforts to cover himself. However, in my mind, this is something that SHE should be thinking about and discussing as well. I didn’t even mention his relying on her for payment because he does need to cover himself, but she shouldn’t be absolved of all responsibility for her own business in his house.


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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Andrew,

What happens if the Turkish Taco Lady shows up at your doorstep with poetry book in hand and requests a place to store her stuff and a bed to sleep on?

Think it couldn't happen? No one would've dreamed that Harry and Meghan would be moving to Canada. Things happen. Just sayin'.

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Wow, you don't pay attention for a day and look what happens! We are BURNING through this thread.

Andrew.. oh dear, sweet Andrew... I love you. This is coming from a place of love and concern.

WHAT THE H#LL ARE YOU THINKING? I want to channel Olympia Dukakis in Moonstruck and smack you up side the head while saying, "SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!" There are so very many points made by everyone else which I pray you've given consideration.

Remember the reality of Dulcinea, not Don Quixote's romanticized view of her... I'm not in the least implying that S is a prostitute, so get that straight right now. I'm saying directly that You are Don Quixote. You are looking for a woman to rescue. Try to let the fumes of the honeymoon phase of your relationship dissipate a bit to really look at S objectively. Forget please any considerations but your own and your son's. Those come first.

You do not put yourself first, to the point of endangering your health. I read a lot about what you both "want to get done" and how a walk isn't on the priority list.

Is a trip to the hospital on your priority list?

Is a heart attack on your priority list?

Said another way: you may not be able to get anything else on the list done if you don't put your health first. GO FOR A WALK EVERY DAY!!!! This isn't a ramble because you're bored and want to look at the pretty flowers. This is something you MUST do to STAY ALIVE.

Cheese n Rice Andrew.. this is your HEALTH.. I'm not even going to get into the other stuff, and believe me I could go on for quite a while about the other stuff. Others have already said plenty, quite eloquently I might add.

I feel like I'm watching a train slowly going off the tracks, picking up speed as it does so. We all want to push you out of the way of that train my friend, but only you have the ability to save yourself.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ What bttrfly said!!!!!!!!!


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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Q: What's stranger than Andrew's mating habits?

A: Deep fried sushi poutine.

For real. Deep fried sushi poutine; it's like a culinary oxymoron.

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