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A Message from Michele
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Seeking spouse2 #2879417
01/08/20 05:56 PM
01/08/20 05:56 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,694
Southern Maryland
job Offline OP

Member
job  Offline OP

Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,694
Southern Maryland
spoused2,

You have stated several times that you will not post your story until you are off moderation. The moderators have opted to keep you on moderation for a period of time until we know more about you and your situation. We do not have a problem reviewing your postings until we are sure that you are on board with the DB principles and are not here to promote principles that are not within the teachings of Michele, the coaches she has available to posters, her business, as well as what we do on the Forums. So, it is really up to you as to whether you remain on moderation or not.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Re: Seeking spouse2 [Re: job] #2879442
01/08/20 06:40 PM
01/08/20 06:40 PM
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 16
S
spoused2 Offline
New Member
spoused2  Offline
New Member
S
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 16
I have been married for more than a decade. During the marriage, I experienced a lot of personal growth. He has not. He refuses to deal with any issues between us. He is says everything was good enough. He has never taken responsibility for his part in our problems. (Everything is 100% my fault according to him.) I had decided to seek the help of a therapist to process these feelings I was having: anger, resentment, loneliness.

I started my own business in 2014, so I could become financially independent as part of my plan to end the marriage. Earlier this year, I was getting antsy. And I decided that I had enough. I told him I wanted to end the marriage. He did all the things. He cried he begged, he pleaded. But I was so dead inside that I didn't care. Honestly, if he would have said "okay" and been calm, that would have been the preferred outcome. He was sad and mopey for months. Then I started to notice a change. First, I saw he ordered the book on our Amazon account. I looked at the computer and saw he was visiting this site. I lurked to see what this site was . I applaud that people want to save the marriage. I do.

But it probably won't save mine.

I can hardly stand my spouse. Every day I say to myself, I don't like you. It is so difficult for me. Other people do not like him, either. He is not very social. We are not friends with any couples because no one likes him. I realize I may be rewriting some history. We did have love at some point.

I have not had an affair of any kind. I generally think that it is not a response to my situation. If he or I had an affair, I'd say it's over.

Re: Seeking spouse2 [Re: spoused2] #2879445
01/08/20 06:48 PM
01/08/20 06:48 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,694
Southern Maryland
job Offline OP

Member
job  Offline OP

Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,694
Southern Maryland
spoused2,

Start a thread of your own so that others can post to you and give you support.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Re: Seeking spouse2 [Re: job] #2879446
01/08/20 06:50 PM
01/08/20 06:50 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,240
NY
Cadet Offline

Member
Cadet  Offline

Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,240
NY
Originally Posted by job
spoused2,

Start a thread of your own so that others can post to you and give you support.

You could even copy the above and paste it - that would work.


Me-66, D33,S32
Re: Seeking spouse2 [Re: job] #2879447
01/08/20 06:52 PM
01/08/20 06:52 PM
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 16
S
spoused2 Offline
New Member
spoused2  Offline
New Member
S
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 16
I will not apologize for the fact that I am not a fan of the Nice Guy, alpha male, MRA I've encountered here. I really don't see how that is compatible with MWD and DB, but that is allowed on this site. I will challenge that.


Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

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