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peacetoday #2879297 01/07/20 10:42 PM
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Originally Posted by peacetoday
Can

You are doing an amazing job

he is home, he is being helpful
he is connecting with D3 and his mom

this may not be MLC either...
I would continue to be patient and keep your energy up

I agree with Westo
He knows you are safe to approach and leave if at the that

enjoy the time together


Thank you Peace. I know I can do this. I appreciate your kind words as always.


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
job #2879298 01/07/20 10:46 PM
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Originally Posted by job
CanBird,

You are not a fool. You are a human being who wanted your h to hug you back. It's been a while since he's done it and you thought he might be more receptive to it. We suggest here that you try different things and if something isn't working, try something else. However, for now, follow his lead, allow him to come to you.

I think you've been doing quite well...don't fret over what happened...we all have done things similar to this and whatever you do, do not take it personally that he didn't respond back in the manner you had hoped he would.


Thanks Job. I will do more of the mirroring. Following his lead is certainly key.


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
CanBird #2879300 01/07/20 10:54 PM
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CanBird Offline OP
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Journaling~ I went to bed before H. He didnt cling to his side of the bed, more like in the middle. At some point he stroked my hair. What's this? I froze. I was sleeping with my back turned to him. I pretended to be sleeping. He did a little footsy thing too. I froze. Not reading into this too much. Actions speak volumes. Waiting for my hugs. (I'm a hugger).


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
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job Offline
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CanBird,

He's testing the waters to see if you are going to be receptive to his advances. Next time he does this, just relax and see what he does. Try to remember, you both are still trying to find your way and now he needs to figure out how to approach you....allow him to come to you. Follow his lead. It's just like the waltz...you follow the man's lead in the dance.

It's going to be okay. Relax, enjoy the time you spend together and remember to breathe!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Hello Can

I think a hug will be coming.

As job and others have said, the next time (and there will be a next time) he advances just relax and see where it goes. Follow his lead.

I suspect he is pretty worried and is timidly testing the waters.

Breathe girl. It’s ok and you’re doing fine.

DnJ


Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
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Journaling~ We've been purdging 'stuff' around the house. Feels SO good to declutter. I sold D3 crib, H said good job. I mirrored that today and said good job on sorting tax stuff out. He then suggested other things we could get rid of. I praised his ideas. It's a little thing but HUGE. He sorted out the recycling & I thanked him & took care of it. It was team work!

He's out helping a friend & just texted me about a bite I had. He got bit too by some bug. Geez...3 texts now..lol..

Gotta go.

😊


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
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Hi Can,

When is H due back at sea and how long is MIL staying?

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Originally Posted by Westo
Hi Can,

When is H due back at sea and how long is MIL staying?


Hi Westo! I was reading you past sitch just today & will read more soon.

The season for H is weather dependant, but can start end of April/mid May lasting an average of 6 months. Yep. Half the year away at ses. It's our normal.

MIL flew here on a one-way ticket. She is retired & is welcome to stay as long as she wants. It's been a week. Her birthday is this weekend. H said to her (the other day) whenever she wants to return let him know. She looked sad at his saying this & joked, " I'm getting booted out already!".


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 715
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Journaling~ Full moon is approching. Weirdness insues. True? I notice it. Can't really be too sure with our mlcers... After watching a program on health, H is now trying a non meat diet for a week to see how he feel. He was okay today until dinner time. We all went out at his suggestion & he was a grump! MIL noticed too & said, "I hope he doesn't get like his father! Here's a little back story...


(H father, her ex.. they never married..they had 2 kids when they were 18/19...then they split..she had 2 more with ex's brother (yes..the brother) H thought that male figure was his dad (H bio uncle..who passed 7ys ago) and was raised/told so until he was 8. H lived with biodad for a spell. H mom married, that man had a d, they had 1 more kiddo. MIl is still with that man. Following? That's MIL story. And I found out tonight, MILs mom was once engage to a man and then got preg by MIL biofather. No married happened & bio went off. Not sure who fathered the other 2 kids, but there is another man & no married involved. That's MIL side.

H bio father, excepted his brother had taken over his role as dad. H bio dad went on to marry & have 1 kid & adopt that wives bio neice. That married ended. H bio dad got a new lady his current wife. They have a s togther. Bio dad & current wife at one point had adoptive d stay with them, H was living there too, the youngest was a baby.. That d is skitzo & threatened everyone at knife point. H does not talk about it.

Wow... I got off track! Full moon, H new diet. He's grumpy. Looking distant. Maybe its hunger.


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 715
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Con't from above.

H was distant. MIL mentioned she noticed a change in him, just not tonight. He was different last year too. Now, at times, he doesn't want to be social with anyone. I see him as having moments of being withdrawn. REALLY distant; the mind IS elsewhere. But then he snaps out of it. Not tonight. MIL never asks questions of her kids & waits for them to come to her. I thinkshe wants to ask him whats up & Ithink H wants to say something or is really struggling within more so than usual. Or maybe his diet change is doing this. He didnt drink anything with dinner. Not sure about the evening. I wrnt to be early. Lights went out in the living room an hour ago. It's 2:30am. H is on sofa.

Things always get interesting around the full moon. This happens Friday. Our weather has been windy & calling for heavy showers/coastal flooding. Great. Let's hope we all survive the freeze inside the house & the elements outside. I should not care H is on sofa, and I will act as if I don't care. He snores anyway.


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
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