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CW - I gift you some imaginary bacon jam! Wish I could deliver it IRL! It's delicious. And how about some limoncello as well? It's excellent to enjoy on New Year's Day.

In all honesty, I don't mind sharing this awesome recipe. It's from a great book by America's Test Kitchen, just called "DIY Cookbook". The exact recipe is posted by another person here: http://cookingmadly.com/welcome-heres-bacon/

It's not overly complicated, but takes a little bit of time. It's a wonderful treat to put on a fried egg sandwich. Let's all make some and enjoy our egg sandwiches on New Year's Day to nurse our hangovers (speaking for myself over here!)

Merry Christmas to you.

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I’m loving the vibes in this thread. You got me at egg sandwiches!!!


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Haha Yail! I checked out Sno Tha Product - awesome stuff! I like a whole crazy range of music. I was a full time singer/songwriter for several years in my early twenties. Kind of had a bluesy/acoustic coffee house vibe. Thanks for the music suggestion! One of my very best friends is a first generation Italian - and OMG - ya'll can cook. I'm glad you had a good Christmas and that your bun got a delicious Christmas treat as well. Aint no shame in a tree with a carrot HA!

KG


LBW 32 - me
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Yail, you're the best!! The food gifts all sound amazing... have you ever made coffee liqueur? Super-simple and a gazillion times better than the commercially available ones...

Thanks for being such a bright light!


Me (46) H (42)
M:14 T:18, D9 & D11
4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs
9/20 - present: R and piecing
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Minorly melancholy the past day or so, but I know it's temporary.

I guess I just do best with a routine, and I've had time off for the holidays. I really like my job, and it's what keeps me social. I have really interesting conversations and a purpose when I'm there. It's where most of my friends are. I feel like I belong there.

Everyone always wants more time to do "other" things in their life. I was going to spend this break to really set a few of my life plans for 2020. I have goals, but I wanted to outline them for myself and write out some ways I will accomplish them. That hasn't happened at all.

Mostly I've been lazy, but 'm trying to relax and remember that I'm on no one's timeline but my own. It's okay to take time off and truly do nothing - except I'm driving myself CRAZY.

When I pause I realize I have two specific items that have me bummed. 1) I'm very stressed financially after the holiday. I'm okay, but I feel that I have all this extra energy to spend, and I'd like to be making money with it. 2) I dropped out of one of my fall classes due to stress and the timing of it. This class isn't offered again until March. And while I was accepted into Grad school, they won't let me be simultaneously enrolled in this undergrad class alongside my grad classes. So I can't start my MBA until Summer. This is all my doing by conscious decisions, but I'm still bummed that I got bumped 6 months beyond my original plan.

So these are really not big things in the grand scheme. Really not. But they're capturing my brainspace these days, so i feel they need my attention.

I'm just in a little bored rut. But I'm looking forward to NYE. I plan on dying my hair bright purple and wearing my new Fenty lipstick and feeling fancy while drinking too much prosecco. I'll be staying in but feeling like my very best Yail - and looking forward to it. Who says I can't dress up for myself? I'm setting my intentions for 2020 by being unapologetic in what brings me great joy. Perhaps some drunk blogging will occur. Hopefully I don't start drunk texting.

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*definitely* do not drink and text. Lol!!

You sound like a fun gal, I love me some prosecco also!! I’ve been trying to dress up more intentionally for myself also. I haven’t dyed my hair in years so also thinking about getting it colored. I’d love to do purple but it might be too much in my small town mom circle. Also I’d be too lazy to maintain it haha.

Don’t let your little bored rut get to you, keep up the PMA!


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Awww, never let a "small town mom circle" hold you back! Be the LEADER of that pack!

What about a fun new piercing? Nothing wrong with a new hole in your head. I'm always a fan of some dainty helix piercings.

Thanks for the encouragement Woosa. I've been feeling really awesome lately, and a small little hiccup of feeling human won't stop me. I tend to not accomplish things if I don't have a deadline, and that's something I'm working on changing, so I thought I'd document it here. I'm trying to keep myself accountable to those times when I just procrastinate and don't do what I wanted to do.

****************
A comment on the recent NMMNG topic:

Blu & FS, I agree with you both. I haven't read the book, but I get the sense that the book is helpful in understanding covert contracts within relationships. This is something I wish I had understood more about in my prior relationship, and I think it's valuable. But I also agree that here it has become some strange placeholder for the message of (as Blu stated) "get your b@lls back". Too much using the words, not enough reading the book (::guilty::)

Thanks for the great discussion! I really thought I was the only one who had some issues with a bit of the dialogue in a few of the threads here. I feel much more at home here the past few weeks, and really appreciate folks weighing in smile


(note: "Not all threads")
wink

(also: Ewww, I just grossed myself out with that joke)

************
FS: Thanks for the Fleabag recommendation - it does look like something I'd enjoy. I'll put it in my queue. I'm currently binging "Working moms" and I'm kind of in love with it.


***********
OK, last little thing, this time about my sitch.

I'm just waiting to hear I'm D. I have been feeling incredibly light the past few weeks since my piece of the work is 100% complete and I don't have any more visits or communications with my lawyer. That was heavy for me. I hated checking email to see where things were at. I'm feeling light in that I don't have any more obligations to W regarding the house or filing.

Being in this apartment has been incredibly healing and helpful. FS, you were so right in noting how much I needed to stay in the house to heal for the first part of our D process. I needed to feel somewhere familiar and safe. But I'm feeling adventuresome and energized now that I'm in my new space that is only MINE. I've only been here about 3 months but it's home now. It's amazing to me that I made that switch and feel so safe here.

Yet another instance where I couldn't see what was around the corner, but the fear was greater than the end result.

I know that when I get the email or piece of mail that states my D date I'll dip into a low funk again. It's the pattern, and I'm trying to be prepared for the fact that I'm sure I'll mourn some more. I do still think about her every day. Some days I miss her, some days I love her, some days I'm so angry I could scream. These days I'm feeling some disgust, which is a new emotion for me. That's all about the affair, I think I'm finally subconsciously processing some of that information.

I don't actually want this last little tie to W to be severed if I'm honest. I don't know what it symbolizes, but it feels like a dismissal of our 10 years together and all the promises for our lifetime. I want my life to be what it is right now: all about Yail, and all accomplishments and decisions are mine alone. I'm intrigued by flirting with new folks. But W will always be my W, and I wanted that too.

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It is so true that the emotions come in cycles. I'm sure you'll have a few days of a low funk BUT I would suggest that when you feel that way, re-read some of your journey. You have always mainly posted about your own growth and things that make YAIL the woman she is and wants to become. It has definitely inspired several here and I think reading it could help motivate you out of any lows. I think it's the promises of a life together that are the hardest to make peace releasing. Remind yourself that your future is still very much fulfilling your dreams. Also, thanks for all the support and helpful incites on my sitch. Cheers to you!

KG


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And literally after posting about being done with legal things I get an email from my lawyer with a need for one more signature.

It's nothing big, just an interim domestic order which essentially states we cannot harass one another during this time when waiting for the final decree, and that all division of personal property must be agreed upon or it will be decided in court.So pretty much it states that things that were complete months ago (without dispute, I might add) should be done, and that we shouldn't bother one another in any undue fashion. Being NC, that's pretty easy.

It's something from the courts, not from one of our lawyers. It's an acknowledgement that our case is before the court at this time.

I just want to say that our legal system is so, so stupid. Like....so stupid.


I'm gonna place a bet that this will be over just after the new year. But who knows.

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Originally Posted by Yail
A comment on the recent NMMNG topic:

Blu & FS, I agree with you both. I haven't read the book, but I get the sense that the book is helpful in understanding covert contracts within relationships. This is something I wish I had understood more about in my prior relationship, and I think it's valuable. But I also agree that here it has become some strange placeholder for the message of (as Blu stated) "get your b@lls back". Too much using the words, not enough reading the book (::guilty::)

Thanks for the great discussion! I really thought I was the only one who had some issues with a bit of the dialogue in a few of the threads here. I feel much more at home here the past few weeks, and really appreciate folks weighing in smile

NMMNG has been a transformative book for me. In no way do I see the message of the book distilled down to a "get your b@lls back" or "alpha" message.

However... it is absolutely talked about in this way sometimes, and in a way that makes me uncomfortable. I'm not sure if this is because people haven't read the book, the title is provocative (and a bit misleading), or because of one unfortunate section that takes away from the power of the book (in my opinion).

Sometimes there is a repressed hostility towards women on these threads. It has happened on my thread. I wish this didn't happen, it drives women away from giving valuable feedback. Also, one of the main points of the book is how NGs often end up having repressed hostility towards women because they don't know how to meet their needs in a healthy way. So it's a little bit ironic...

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