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#2877668 12/26/19 04:00 PM
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Here’s the link to my last thread:


Well, Christmas was good, everyone was happy with their presents. My BFF and her son and her sister came for turkey dinner and it was a nice time.

My oldest two had dinner on Xmas eve with their dad which seemed to go ok. I did learn a couple of interesting/disturbing factoids.

1) My one son who has been diagnosed with joint hypermobility syndrome/Ehlers Danlos hypermobility type told his father about this new diagnosis several months ago. Yet when said son called my ex’s wife last month to ask for work advice (they’re in the same field) she had heard nothing about his diagnosis! Seriously? Your son has a potentially life-altering diagnosis and you don’t even mention it to your wife?

2) Apparently they were having toasted pine nuts on their salad and when same son mentioned how good they were, ex commented how this was a special treat because they couldn’t afford them except on special occasions. Now granted, pine nuts are expensive these days, but I’m pretty sure that a couple bucks for a handful of pine nuts in a green salad is not breaking his bank. (Especially since he and his wife eat like birds). My guess is that now that he’s approaching semi-retirement, he’s taking a look at what things cost for the first time and having a panic reaction. (Remember, he will have twice my income while I’m working full time and he’s working per diem, and when we’re both fully retired he will still have twice my income. )

Whatever. I’m sad that he’s having a negative effect on my kids but otherwise - not my problem.

Here’s to forging ahead into a better 2020!

kml #2877677 12/26/19 04:51 PM
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Merry Christmas KML. Sounds like you had a really nice time. Your ex’s comments about the pine nuts was strange. Perhaps he was subtly warning your son not to ask him for any future financial assistance?? Who knows. My XH makes similar comments and he is living in a two-income household. He told SD20 last year when she was going through a tough stretch financially that he couldn’t help her out ($100) and then jetted off to Hawaii with OW a few days later. It’s really all about priorities and my XH’s priorities have always been “me, myself and I” so not overly surprising... but consistently disappointing...for our kids. Sounds like your XH is similar in that regard. Good thing your kids have you to turn to. (((HUGS)))

kml #2877685 12/26/19 05:15 PM
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It should be no surprise to us when these guys act selfishly or irresponsibly. It’s not like we were trying to salvage normal universal marital issues. These were people that left their families in really cruel and manipulative ways. Most of them would have been sued if they acted the way they did in a business relationship.

We just married disordered people. It’s scary how many of them are out there. Doctors,engineers, educated normal appearing people that are just so unbelievably selfish wearing some nice sheep skins.


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
kml #2877689 12/26/19 05:36 PM
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Yeah DV I wouldn’t be surprised if after all this and his claims that he’s too broke to help son, he goes off on some big international trip with his wife to celebrate his partial retirement. (I keep saying partial because while he is taking his early full retirement, he will undoubtedly be working per diem 2-3 days a week ).

And yeah, maybe the pine nuts thing was a dig at son’s spending, or son’s weight, or just another attempt to convince son he’s too broke to help him because he’s too broke to buy pine nuts.

I think that’ll be my new name for my ex - Pine Nuts. “Have you met my ex? Jane, meet Pine Nuts. Pine Nuts, meet Jane”. Lol.

kml #2878102 12/30/19 04:35 PM
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Well, I finally watched that movie Gloria Bell with Julianne Moore. It had gotten good reviews when it first came out, but honestly I don’t get it. (Warning - spoiler alert).

Gloria is a single woman, divorced for ten years with two adult children. She likes to go dancing at a club. (Mind you, no clubs like this exist anywhere in the US - full of good looking 50-60 something straight men dancing to 80’s music).

She meets a guy there who invites her out to lunch and claims to be divorced for a year after having gastric bypass surgery and losing a ton of weight. A romance ensues.

Trouble in paradise - his adult daughters call and text him a lot - Gloria resents that. Gloria brings BF to a family party where her ex and his new wife are present - she’s very friendly with her ex and kind of ignores the BF, so he sneaks out and goes home. They break up, get back together, he takes her on a trip to Vegas. His girls call to say their mom has fallen through a sliding glass door and is in the hospital with serious damage to her legs.

Gloria gets p!issy about the idea of him leaving so he assures her he’ll stay, but ends up sneaking out home later in the middle of their dinner. She goes out and gets drunk, parties with some random guy, wakes up hung over by a pool without her purse and has to call her mom to come rescue her.

In the climactic scene, she takes his paint ball guns (which he had left in her trunk) and drives to a house where he is getting out of a car in the driveway with bags of groceries. She shoots him and the house with the paintball gun and drives off as the adult daughters and ex-wife (wife?) on crutches come running out of the house.

I suppose this is supposed to be some kind of cathartic moment but honestly she seemed just as bad as him. It was never clear if he had lied about being divorced, or if he was just helping out his ex. Gloria certainly wasn’t understanding about him answering his daughters calls, and she WAS rude to him when her ex was around. On the other hand, him taking off -twice -unannounced was unforgivable behavior too.

Honestly they both just seemed immature and the moral of the story seemed to be that dating in your fifties sukks.

Last edited by job; 12/30/19 08:01 PM. Reason: edited language
kml #2878109 12/30/19 05:13 PM
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Well - at least no bunnies were boiled ....


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
kml #2878375 01/01/20 04:42 PM
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Quiet New Year’s Eve around here as CMM was suffering from a mysterious and excruciating hip and leg pain yesterday. I almost took him to the ER it was so bad. Fortunately he’s somewhat better today. It may just be bad sciatica, or muscle pain from lying in bed too much over the previous few days because of a gout attack in his hand. Came on too suddenly to suspect a metastasis from his tumor. Anyway just Netflix movies, takeout Mexican food and leftover Xmas chocolate for me last night.

I don’t really mind - my days of partying on New Years Eve are over ( I hate driving out with all the drunks). I’ve had nice NYE’s in the past. An annual fondue party with a book club I used to belong to was good adult conversational fun. A romantic night with the first guy I dated after my ex left, which involved that tall, handsome, intelligent guy drinking champagne from my navel, would be hard to top. I’m more excited these days about New Year’s Resolutions.

I usually get together with my BFF and some nice notebooks and we write down goals for the year - AND trouble shoot steps to obtain them. It’s a good exercise and even if my follow through is spotty, things from this list do tend to manifest in my life.

Also this year I’ve signed up again for the 1,000 Mile Challenge. The goal is to walk or run (I walk) 1,000 miles in the next year. The first year I did it I made about 700 miles until CMM got diagnosed with cancer. Last year was a bust after the first four months. But this year I plan to start again and keep it up - I can’t let my own health slide.

Here’s hoping 2020 is a better year for all of us.

kml #2878378 01/01/20 04:56 PM
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I am so sorry that CMM had a rough couple of days. Sounds like you have a real challenge this year...1,000...wow! If anyone can do it, it will be you. CMM doesn't know how blessed he is to have you in his life.

Happy New Year to you and your family!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
kml #2878415 01/02/20 01:23 AM
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4.2 miles today to start! I went to the gym (my gym has a theater room so I walked on the treadmill while the Avengers saved the planet from aliens ).

Happy New Year to you too!

kml #2878430 01/02/20 12:34 PM
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Happy new year!!

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