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Positive thoughts your way and a bunch of fingers and toes crossed too.
AT

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Hello Can

Take it slow.

You’re doing fine.

Thing of him like a squirrel. No sudden movements or he’ll scatter.

DnJ


Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
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kml Offline
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Well? What happened?

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I want to know too, waiting patiently here wink

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I hope things are going so well that you haven’t had time to post!


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Hi All. Scattered thoughts...lol..

His indeed home. He was waiting for us when we got home, hugged us both & sobbed a bit. D3 was so happy & surprised. They played all afternoon. I was included. I didn't ask H a thing really, just how are you... we got our favorite take out pizza, ate in.

Our communication has been good, thank goodness D3 is there. Makes things easier.

Last night & this morning he was complaining of pain in chest. I urged him to see a doctor & he did. High blood pressure; stress. He's been monitoring it. It's been high for 2 yrs. As he told me this he started crying, visible shaken up like I've never seen. I held him/comforted him, but first asked if I could. He sobbed again, I held his hands and said it's going to be okay. I am here for you, to help, what ever you need. "I don't deserve anything."...."YES, you do Okay". Eye to eye we exchanged these words.

D3 wants H to attend every activity. I said to him, it's up to you, it's okay if you're not ready. H did our full day routine. He enjoyed it, but I could tell his mind is else where. He's got A LOT of guilt he's holding onto. I can tell. I expect the worse & wish he'd just let it out so we can move forward, so he can not be as stressed. I'm not about to ask a thing or bait a hook. I have to be strong & patient with this man.

He's on the sofa. He's barely been on this phone. Highly unusual. But I'm living the second act of this movie right here. We are getting along like normal. Yes, it can be uncomfortable in silence, and I find that hard, but make small talk, not too much. Being myself, my best version. NO BIG UGLY TEARS!

This morning just before 5am, D3 woke up, got in my bed then asked for Daddy. I said try the living room. It's a small house, I can hear everything. "Dada? DADDY! WHERE ARE YOU?!!?" I was sad at first, but knew what he was doing. A hobby of his. He came back. I didn't say anything, D3 is very good at expressing her feelings. I hope her Dad opens up more.

Happy he's home for her.

Oh, I reached out via email, to my inquiring relatives that want to visit that we need time together as we've been apart, hope they understand, love & appreciate them. H Step-m text me that his dad is concerned. I showed H. Ask if he was going to deal with it or if I was going to? He just smiled and looked at his phone. I'm assuming he contacted his dad.

Another big, H is going to the dentist! I usually nag him, or get the office after him..lol.. this is a good thing. Hopefully H will work on getting his stress level down. H says it's not me..(No kidding!)

Any tips on getting your spouse to open up? Or just let them be? Is there a middle ground?

Hope everyone is well. Ps- I cooked tonight (I hate cooking) & H enjoyed it. He's the cook. (He didn't marry me for my culinary skills, but I do okay when I try...lol.. he's the cook. Looking forward to the meals he cooks.

Last edited by CanBird; 12/13/19 08:13 AM.

~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
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Wow, I didn't make it through your whole post because the words got blurry as my eyes teared up. Im so glad you have positive news, you deserve it and hopefully there is much much more to come. Thank you so much for sharing!

AT

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Hi Can,

You’re doing great. I wouldn’t press anything.

Time.........lots of time.

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Can,

I am very happy he is home. Right now, it is important to be a friend and a good listener. He needs a good listener right now who isn't going to judge him. I know you can do this. When he's ready, he will open up. Continue as you have been and given him plenty of space and time...no pressure!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Can

You are doing amazing ...
one day at a time...one minute if needed


I sense the more you Lean back
he will lean forward
let him be the one to come forward

stay busy, positive and focused on the new you and life you been creating
stay strong, kind and open to his lead but dont pursue anything

watch and wait


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
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