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Can

A lot going on here

You will know more after H arrives

I like what Job said---dont mention this to anyone
if his name comes up stick to your mantra and change the subject
keep expectations low

if people push the subject...I like DNJ response


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
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Thank you Job, DnJ, Peace. DEFINITELY not sharing his details with ANYONE.

Here's the reply I sent:


Hi, saw your message late last night, almost missed it.

I'll be working; D3 will be with me. Hope you're okay with Uber or/Taxi.

Safe travels


*I tried to keep it short..lol... kept my work details (hours & details) minimal. I never told him I got a job; almost 3 months now. Yes dear H, things have changed here.

He's a details guy, so minimal on the words is normal. I don't question the strange stuff like not signing his name or changing the subject line to reflect the body of the email. It's not english class...lol..

From his previous messages via text/private social media, his words were remorseful, shame, guilt...As always since day one of BD, I am here to listen. (Thank goodness I have Thursday off! ) I will listen with patience, and kindness. I don't know what he's going through, or how he managed while at sea. (he's the boss) I will respect him; he is my friend first and foremost, who is struggling.


The count down is on.



Last edited by CanBird; 12/10/19 05:02 PM.

~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
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Nicely done with your response.


Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
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Originally Posted by DnJ
Nicely done with your response.


Thank you. I thought so too. Just following his lead, in a way. I had to change the subject line to reflect the email..lol.. but as he did, I did not put my name. Silly right?..lol.. we know who it's from.


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
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I like the idea of being his friend

keep expectations low

be careful if he wants more
You have mo idea where he has been or where he is going

you and D3 first


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
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CanBird Offline OP
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I've barely had any sleep, functioning fine. It is what it is. Zero expectations. Hoping to keep the house tidy for at least 24hrs. When it's a mess, so am I. Any way, just the mstbr left, as usual. I got new bedding a while ago, new shower curtain in the en suit, a few new photos up in the main living area.
Change is good.

Last night I read over my personal journal. I usually write the truth, and in a way that if read by anyone I wouldn't care. My thoughts haven't changed. Standing through this. A storm is coming, but not sure if it'll drizzle or hail. All I can do it put on a jacket.

Tic toc.. tic toc.

Remembering to Breathe.


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
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Hi Can

Get a good night sleep. Leave tomorrow and whatever happens, to tomorrow.

You’re going to do fine.

(((Can)))

DnJ


Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
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Recap of messsages (via email) this week......

H: Hi, I have a flight arriving 12/11 @0900


Me: Hi, saw your message late last night, almost missed it.

I'll be working; Riley will be with me. Hope you're okay with Uber or/Taxi.

Safe travels


H: Ok. I will. Thank you.


After I read his last message (via email), an image of a dog with its tail in between its legs appeared, head hanging low. Any way, I don't know where he departed from. But he's in the air already. Landing in less than 3hrs. I'm assuming he's coming home. He asked if he could come home almost over a month ago. (Can I come home? Do youwant me to?..[yes of course, it's your home too. D3 misses you].Omg, thank you. That was via text. Weird we're on email now. Whatever..lol..

I got everything done that I wanted to. It was for me; I was in cleaning mode before I knew he was traveling. I had 8 hrs of sleep, took a nice bath to relax beforehand.

So glad I've got plans today. I'm not stewing at home, waiting. After work D3 & I have lunch plans. There are mutual friends of H. I will advise H of or plans, and extend the invite, with zero expectation. I wouldn't not want go to lunch! ..lol...they don't know any of the sitch, other than its been a long season. For these friends I will say just that, "Things are pretty much done...it's been a long season.." I'm not going to say he took sometime for himself to these friends.

Well, gotta go to work soon.

Until next time. I will breath deeply, inhale positive energy, and exhale the rest....reset.. reset..reset...


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 715
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H reached out and text me. I let him lead the conversation. Answers short & sweet. I invited him to lunch, no pressure...He said I could say to friends he's home. But, he's not ready to see anyone, but wants to see me & D3. He surprised me and asked about dinner plans! I said go out, so we are. Then he asked about work..

I ended it with ttyl.

Wow. So far so good.


~Never Give Up ~
2019
Mar BD
June BD
Dec Aow/xgf
2020
Jan he wants D
Feb he flys2 ow
Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn
Apr he leaves for work until Nov
Oct D FINAL 2020
Living MY Happiest Life Ever
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Remember to breathe! You both have changed a bit since you last saw each other. Follow his lead, no pushing for answers and always, always be yourself. Good luck! I'm praying for you!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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