Gerda Finally Sees the Broken Fragments

[OwnIt]

Gerda, reflection and calm are good. You posted a response on my thread that was pretty dead on to what I was simultaneously posting. Good luck in getting the outcome you want.

[DnJ]

Hello Gerda

As Own said, reflecting and calm is good.

Glad to hear that your new lawyer is stepping up and has brought forward strategies you like. Best of luck on Tuesday.

Present.

DnJ

[Grace21]

Gerda -

I'm glad you like your new attorney. He seems to have his act together. Good luck on Tuesday.

Quiet reflection is excellent. I use it often. It can allow us to ponder our lives, examine strategies and scenarios, or simply give us peace.

Let us know how it goes on Tuesday, if you feel up to it.

Grace

[OwnIt]

Hi Gerda, wondering how things went Tuesday and if you are doing ok?

[DnJ]

Good Morning Gerda

In a cold snap over here. It -28 this morning. As I was sit here at the kitchen table; enjoying a speed coffee, cream and sugar , toast and Cheese Whiz, there was a weird smell. It was the auxiliary heater elements in the geothermal furnace kicking in and burning off the dust. A definite sign to stay inside and watch movies. Lol.

Alas, snow also accompanied this cold air, so some snow removal is required. The drifts aren’t too bad only around 8 inches high. In truth I’ll probably wait for better weather to clear the snow. Of course that may not be till April.

How are things out your way? 8 inches of snow? Haha.

Did Tuesday go alright?

Don’t stress or worry about answering; it’s perfectly normal, and a good thing, to take a break and reflect gathering one’s thoughts and beliefs.

Thinking about you.

And staying warm.

DnJ

[Gerda]

Dear friends, Grace, OwnIt, DnJ, thank you for checking up on me.

It did not go well followed by some dentist trauma and a horrifying noro virus but my motion is still not filed so I don't know what is going to happen. I have been working on the affadavit this wekeend as we decided to revise the motion to ask for injunction against him moving back as they are back to the extortion games -- e.g., if you don't give us more money, he will move back on Jan 31.

Didn't have it in me to update when there is so much unknown. And like I said, meeting Grace in person made these web-only relationships feel kind of sad so without actually planning on it I have been just thinking on my own. Lent is coming so there will be a big break for me anyway.

Suffice it to say, it was awful but my new lawyer, though an a##hole and not very nice to me, is an a##hole who knows how to fight for me. It just might be too late to change anything.

I did succeed in renting out my apt in order to take the kids to FL and it was AMAZING. I was so happy there.

Cream and sugar for sure, DnJ, I am lifting a mug of it to you right now. It's spring weather here but I do think of you whenever any heater in either place does anything noticeable. Mostly wishing I could ask you about it and you could tinker about the place in exchange for some naimmoooooannamaooo bars.

Love to you all. Thanks so much for checking on me, seriously.

[OwnIt]

Gerda, focusing on the positives, I'm glad you feel that you have someone who will fight for you and that you and the kids had a great time in Florida. I hope there will be more of these happy moments for you this year. Processing is good. Best to you.

[job]

Gerda,

I am very sorry to read that things didn't go well on Tuesday. I hope the lawyer can get things on track and continue to fight for you. Dental trauma is absolutely no fun. I hope everything is better on that front for you.

Congratulations on getting your apt. rented and the trip to Florida was a pleasant break for all of you. The weather has been quite warm here as well. I have flowers up and trees and bushes are starting to bud out. When in town today and saw a spring flowering bush actually in bloom. The birds, squirrels and rabbits are just as confused as we are by the unseasonably warm weather...but we'll take it over the cold, snow and ice.

Please take care of yourself. We are all here for you.

[DnJ]

Good Morning Gerda

I hope the winter flu bug didn’t have its claws into you for too long. It is going around here as well. Lots of people sick at work. My crew of ten was down to three for a few days.

It’s nice to hear that you had such a good time in FL. And the apartment is rented. Yay!

You new lawyer sounds like he is fighting for you. Another yay.

I have been working on the affadavit this wekeend as we decided to revise the motion to ask for injunction against him moving back as they are back to the extortion games -- e.g., if you don't give us more money, he will move back on Jan 31.

You nailed it.

Games.

H is using the legal system to his full advantage, like MLCers will. It’s a game of threats for them. Just another way to push your buttons. Leave him to your a##hole awesome lawyer.

I am jealous of your nice weather. It’s a little far from spring flowers over here right now. Lol.

I do empathize with your feelings towards the relationships we build here. We are all real people; hurting, sharing, growing, healing, and helping. Yes, meeting someone in person would highlight the web-only limits of this forum. Feelings of sad are normal.

The very feelings of sadness you express show just how real these relationships are. In what is probably paradoxical, we show more of ourselves, more of who we really are, when anonymous. I don’t think there are many masks worn around here.

Virtual Nanaimo bars aside, you can ask me about heaters or anything else.

DnJ

[Gerda]

You nailed it.

Games.

H is using the legal system to his full advantage, like MLCers will. It’s a game of threats for them. Just another way to push your buttons. Leave him to your a##hole awesome lawyer.

I have been having a really harrowing time of it. But I guess I won the last round. Judge basically blackmailed me into giving H more money per month -- she said she would strike my request for relief from my motion if I didn't give him the money, and she would leave it if I did. I refused to do it unless it counted as ED because they were trying to say it was spousal support!!!!, and we left without a deal, but then when we were out on the court steps, they texted that they would agree to it being ED. So I finally got in writing that H is not allowed back in the house, I just had to pay him for it, but what I am paying is coming out of what his share of ED, so it's really just an advance on the buy out I am trying to make happen. And the rest of my motion I guess gets heard by the trial judge, and I won't be seeing that other horrible judge again.

So my new lawyer is making things happen for me. But I got a third bill from him today, and I have already incurred $11,000 of hours from him. That is not a typo. That is all my savings, gone.

We tried again to get them to take a universal buy-out and they refused. They refuse to acknowledge the marital debt, which is almost half the value of our house. They won't propose a number and they won't discuss the debt, so it will have to go to trial.

And I am starting to get really scared that I will end up having to go to trial just because H is too stupid to crunch the numbers. I did yet another spreadsheet that shows that he will make LESS if he sells the house at 20% above appraisal than accepting a buy out at appraised value because of the massive taxes.

I am having trouble accepting how much money he is forcing me to waste on lawyers. It is staggering how much money is going to lawyers instead of to my life and to my children, and all because H is delusional, not because I am fighting for more than my share or anything like that, just from sheer idiocy of MLC delusions.

So DnJ, what is your comforting thought about that for today?