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Joined: Dec 2019
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It wont let me edit my reply but wanted to say another problem is he is encouraging me to get out with friends, but not to the point of encouraging me to see other people. He said God will send me some one of and when the time is right. (Part of him wants to believe God sent the OW to him)

#2875341 12/09/19 04:33 PM
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So I posted my story in "affair fog, MLC or true love" but brief summary, my H and I have been married 12 years together almost 15 we have 5 small kids. Things have been bad off and on for the past 2 years and worse over the last 5 months. I found out beginning of Oct. My H was having an EA with a coworker and says he is in love with her but says that came after he already wanted to leave me. Fast forward through all the things I did that I shouldn't have (beg, pled, threatened, R talks). He is staying in our basement right now because he says he cannot afford a D right now (says he has no desire to work on our M)and says he has broken things off with the OW and only talks to her if needed for work (they work in a small office so he sees her most days all day) this was on the advice from another coworker that he should calm things down at home and figure out coparenting before being our drama into his R with the OW.

So 2 questions, I know that in an A you cant trust anything they say, but if he really broke things off which it appears they have at least all the out of work things( the A started in August, so only a couple of months, but involved hugging, kissing and cuddling), how long based on others experience before the fog starts to lift given the fact that he still does have some contact with her.

2nd question, when we are both home is comes upstairs and hangs out this weekend he helped cook lunches and dinners and has been helping around the house and is friendly. It's like it was before the EA and before he wanted a divorce just without the R so more like a good friendship. He is at the stage of encouraging me to get out of the house and do things for myself and I should move on. And he joked last night that he thinks that I should be with one of our friends (his ex brother in law) since we all already get along and the kids love him. What do I do in this situation I want things to be friendly for the kids but I want a M with my husband not a friendship.

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Threads merged - please stick to one thread until 100 posts on the thread.


It is much easier to follow along that way.


Me-70, D37,S36
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