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Originally Posted by Newbie20
No kidding! 250K in undisclosed cash AND 50%? This woman is insane. To the OP: hire a lawyer YESTERDAY. i used to do this kind of work.


Either that or her L is .... But i think she is going for broke and seeing what she comes up with, the sad part is the last statement she made..." either you sign it or my L said she will drag you into court!"

.....okay.....so is this because i am not signing a doc I dont need to sign,....or are you going to criminally charge me because i had some pictures of you without your permission? Either way, it wont be quick and am not sure any will be chargeable. BUT I AM NOT A L....or for that matter, a judge.


Me 58 W 58
T 36 yrs. M 32 yrs
D 27 D 23
BD 8/3/19
Waiting for filing from W
Zip #2875007 12/06/19 07:10 PM
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So the legal game begins. I wish you well.


You can speak with other L and represent yourself. Most likely not in your best interest. You don't know the rules as well as other lawyer. Plus, your emotions will not help. You will most likely make a written agreement with a lawyer that allows them to represent you and you will agree in that document not to contact other lawyer directly.


My experience: Whatever retainer you put down initially will not cover all the fees.

You have to take stock of what you have, the value, how it should be split. If you don't the lawyers will get you and your wife to argue over it. You pay them to argue, and they will. Both lawyers will know about all your wealth and take as much as they can. That is the game.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Zip #2875009 12/06/19 07:15 PM
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Don't talk to the wife's lawyer. That's a conflict of interest on her part if you haven't agreed to be represented by her. I'd grieve the bi**ch to the state bar.

Zip #2875010 12/06/19 07:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Zip
R2C, AS, and others.....thanks for the support.


Absolutely! Who better to help than those who have "been there done that".

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So I have an appt with the L on Tues. Trying to get all the info I can to see what will be best. The L has had 2 consults with me so she is somewhat up to speed.... and I did leave a copy of the "Partial Property Settlement Agreement".


Perfect. I know this is stressful but you are handling it like you should. Well done! Hang in there!

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whereas H and W desire to settle and determine their rights


Yeah right. More like "whereas H and W desire W desires to settle and determine their her rights, whether real or imagined".

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and whereas W has the benefit of competent and independent counsel and H has chosen to represent himself. (WTF.... really???.... oh yea I am going to buy into this crap?)


Yeah well that's what she's hoping. Welcome to your W's fantasy!

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So W said to me, "if you have questions, my L said you can call her and she will answer any questions you may have.".

When does a L for the W have the ethics of talking to me??? I am really confused with this one and the W thought I may just do that???


Your W is about to get a rude wakeup call when she finds out you're not just letting her walk all over you.

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UGHH....and just another day of pinball emotions, mad, crying, sad, remorseful, and back to pissed off...not necessarily in that order!


That's OK for you to feel those things. You're processing that while handling it like you should. You're separating your emotions from your actions. Again, well done!


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
Zip #2875012 12/06/19 07:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Zip
.....okay.....so is this because i am not signing a doc I dont need to sign,....or are you going to criminally charge me because i had some pictures of you without your permission?
This is all about money. You have a business to split up. You want to do it as cheap as possible for your family without you getting screwed over. Do not quibble over the little things.

List out the big items:

401K Value (Tax implications)
House equity value (Not easily liquidated)
$250K in hidden cash by wife
Land value


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Originally Posted by Ready2Change




So the legal game begins. I wish you well.


You can speak with other L and represent yourself. Most likely not in your best interest. You don't know the rules as well as other lawyer. Plus, your emotions will not help. You will most likely make a written agreement with a lawyer that allows them to represent you and you will agree in that document not to contact other lawyer directly.


My experience: Whatever retainer you put down initially will not cover all the fees.

I am sure of this. The best part is W is in love with $$ and hates to spend it. this will hopefully get us to the finish line at a lesser amount than if she didn t think that way. She is smart and will hopefully make smart decisions and not what the L tells her.


You have to take stock of what you have, the value, how it should be split. If you don't the lawyers will get you and your wife to argue over it. You pay them to argue, and they will. Both lawyers will know about all your wealth and take as much as they can. That is the game.


I have been assembling a spreadsheet for just that. She apparently has as well. So this is why her L is in for the battle. She has seen the #s from the W...whether they are right or not is unknown.

Interesting she said in Sept that she had all the info she needed to proceed with a D then, I didnt give her a damn thing and now know as she doesnt want any up to date info. Just 2016 . this has been the plan...the one she said didnt exist.


Me 58 W 58
T 36 yrs. M 32 yrs
D 27 D 23
BD 8/3/19
Waiting for filing from W
Joined: Sep 2019
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Originally Posted by Ready2Change
Originally Posted by Zip
.....okay.....so is this because i am not signing a doc I dont need to sign,....or are you going to criminally charge me because i had some pictures of you without your permission?
This is all about money. You have a business to split up. You want to do it as cheap as possible for your family without you getting screwed over. Do not quibble over the little things.

List out the big items:

401K Value (Tax implications)
House equity value (Not easily liquidated)
$250K in hidden cash by wife
Land value



the large items will be the sticking spots Unfortunately there is everything above involved. I think if we can get this done while she has a desire to go, it may be beneficial to both parties. Get it done now and not drag on. There is an incentive on her behalf if she really wants to go. Otherwise we can snuggle up the the checkbooks and Ls for the next how many months or yrs.


Me 58 W 58
T 36 yrs. M 32 yrs
D 27 D 23
BD 8/3/19
Waiting for filing from W
Zip #2875033 12/06/19 08:31 PM
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as my brother said, you need to look at this as a business decision only. Do what will be best for you and dont let the emotions get involved. And you need to play as nice as possible....to not lose more than you otherwise will.

Why is it that it always seems the LBS is always fighting from a handicapped position. She wants to go, so why do I need to make all the concessions....to the tune of $250k and potentially have my business ripped up, and I have to sell the farm.... just getting things off my chest.

Never saw a nice D...they MUST all SU@k

Zip


Me 58 W 58
T 36 yrs. M 32 yrs
D 27 D 23
BD 8/3/19
Waiting for filing from W
Zip #2875048 12/06/19 09:34 PM
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The more familiar you are with things the better. Read your states statues.




Last edited by Ready2Change; 12/06/19 09:39 PM.

"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Zip #2875185 12/08/19 04:27 AM
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How you holding up?


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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