Awww...thanks Bttrfly. So nice to know people are reading my updates and rooting for me. I’m beaming too... can you tell??? When I think back to how much pain I was in a year ago, this feels like a frickin miracle to me!!! An honest-to-gawd miracle. The miracle, I think, is this board and the wonderful collection of hearts and minds that contribute to it. I know for certain I would not be where I am today without all of you. You are all truly blessings from God and my heart is full. (((HUGS)))
Okay... so maybe not my final thread after all. Taking DnJ’s advice and “living in the light”. Snow day today. School is cancelled so I am going to wait a couple hours before I get in my car and try to make it in to work.
Been texting every day with Brook. He is so sweet. Everything that bothered me about Jack and his texting habits is the exact opposite of Brook. He texts me every morning to say good morning and that he hopes I have a good day. And every night to say goodnight and to have a good sleep. And he texts me half way through my day to ask how things are going. We talk about random things throughout the day and have lots of meaningful exchanges about topics that we are both passionate about... mental health, social justice, kids, giving back, etc... We’ve shared a lot of memories and a lot of laughs. It has just been really, really easy reconnecting with him. I never thought in a million years that I would ever talk with him again since we barely spoke in high school. But if someone had asked me who, in my childhood, I would like to see again to find out how they turned out, he would have definitely been at the top of my list. Guess that is saying something.
I was talking to my XMIL about it yesterday. She thinks it is FANTASTIC. She is so happy that I broke up with Jack. She says she wants me to be with someone who wants to take care of me for a change instead of the other way around. She also told me about a friend of hers who is 80 and recently reconnected with the boyfriend she had when she was 14. They live in different towns but are dating and she often travels to stay with him for a few days and vice versa and they are both really happy. So...it happens...even at 80. Anyway...I am loving our conversations but I am really, really looking forward to seeing him in person again. Despite this, I am glad that both of us are really busy and he lives an hour away because it forces us to take things slow which is never a bad thing.
And before anyone suggests I might be on the “rebound” from Jack, I know that this is not what this is. TBH...I think, deep down, I knew from the start that Jack and I were never going to last. I just wasn’t ready to admit it to myself. And once I did and I made the decision to end things, I realized very quickly that I had done the right thing. I wish him well and there are no hard feelings whatsoever, on either side, so I feel really good about it and have no regrets.
I do see a lot of people who reconnect with schoolmates - there's something I think about being with someone who remembers you as you were when you were young that is attractive.
Yeah...and they also remember you when you were attractive....lmao
Sadly, some of us never got out of the ugly duckling stage. I'm older, wiser, but still in that stage...well, I'm not a duckling now but an old duck. LOL
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
To be honest, jack sounded more like the rebound guy. So far, Brook sounds like a guy that’s gonna show you what a relationship should be like.
For myself, being with someone that is into me and being with someone that makes huge amounts of effort - and demonstrates through actions - that he wants to be a partner, has taught me so much. I realized everything that was missing in my marriage. And how my marriage was just so dysfunctional - not because of me (I was definitely gaslighted) but because of my ex.
I think maybe we need bad relationships to learn from but also good ones too. The bad ones help us appreciate it when a truly good and compatible person comes along. The good and compatible partners help to teach us what not to accept. Like if you had known what it felt like to have Brook text and make effort - would you have put up with not receiving that from Jack?
Again, I’m so happy that you met someone that seems appreciative of you. You totally deserve it. And wishing you the best.
Dawn... I highly doubt that you are an ugly duckling and I’m pretty sure Sparky would vehemently disagree!!
Juju... Thank you. You are right about Jack. I knew it too. It was just difficult to give up the physical affection that he brought to the table. I hadn’t had that in a long time. But the other stuff was hard to ignore over time. I need someone who is a better match with me from a soul perspective if that makes any sense.
Trying really hard not to get too excited about Brook but it is so hard not to. We texted last night until 1 a.m. I told him I was thinking about how many times I had seen his name on FB and never thought to add him and then this time I just did and I have no idea why. I asked him why he messaged me because I think I’ve rarely messaged people after accepting a friend request. Generally I just check out their page and that’s it. He said that something just told him that he was supposed to. He’s a big believer in fate and the universe having a plan and things happening for a reason. We are both kind of amazed at how much we have in common now. We have very similar views on things too. It’s almost too good to be true. I was joking about how I knew he would come to his senses one day (after breaking up with me in the ninth grade) and he said he was an idiot when he was 14 and is glad I forgave him...lol. Better late than never!!!
Anyway...it is looking like the roads will be okay for his basketball trip and it is likely he will be working after he gets back for a few days but hopefully we will find some time to see each other next week. Texting is fun but I really want to physically see him again.
Well, I’ll get really excited for you! Because there is nothing like the comfort of an old friend where maybe then it wasn’t the time or place, but now the time and place might be right. I love it
