Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 10 1 2 3 9 10
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,622
Likes: 12
K
kas99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,622
Likes: 12
https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2869737&page=11

Married 28 years, 3 teenagers
BD: 3/31/2019
WAH moved out: 4/6/2019

I've been doing LRT for 3 months. Each got our own place a month ago. Prior to this he was paying CS only and all my bills. I was a SAHM for 15 years. I do have a ft job but can't support myself on it. I asked him how much he was going to pay after I moved and he gave me a low number and asked if it was enough. I was too stunned to respond so I didn't. He's been nice, doing home improvements at my house (I'm not there - S19 is), brings me firewood and gifts from work. This gave me hope and so I let the support ride. I kinda thought I'd have to file soon to protect me and our kids but hadn't decided anything when I found out about the OW. That made the decision easy.

I texted my attorney right after stating there was OW and that I wanted to file. I'd already filled out paperwork when I hired her so she had the complaint done by that afternoon. I signed it today. She's filing on the grounds of adultery. I asked if I needed a PI to prove it before he got served and she said no. Said it's too late for him to go underground since it's already documented. S19 caught him but WAH doesn't know. We work with some of the same people so I have a witness here. She thought I knew. My attorney knows the witness too. She says infidelity is hard to prove but we can use the name as a scare tactic.

I'm now falling apart. Spinning, can't get over the part where he's got someone. He spent the past two days at home, in bed with her. I was doing so well and now I can't function and I NEED to function. I'm grasping at straws trying to stay positive about this. I could really use some encouraging words before I get fired. I'm not doing well.

Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,622
Likes: 12
K
kas99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,622
Likes: 12
Guess my title is too depressing. Doing a little better today at work at least. I did cook last night and paid my bills. Hard to function while accepting that my M is over.

Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,622
Likes: 12
K
kas99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,622
Likes: 12
I don't want to file but when I'm wondering if I can pay my bills then I have no choice.

Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 239
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 239
kas you would enjoy this book, Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide If you can listen to the audio version. Not a book recommended for those looking for reconciliation.


1st BD December 26, 2008
PA admitted to by XW December 29, 2008

2nd BD May 23, 2019
Daughter confirms EA
Divorce Finalized July 18, 2019
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,622
Likes: 12
K
kas99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,622
Likes: 12
Originally Posted by rooskers
kas you would enjoy this book, Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide If you can listen to the audio version. Not a book recommended for those looking for reconciliation.


I love her blog. She's great.

Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,622
Likes: 12
K
kas99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,622
Likes: 12
Okay let me try to be more positive.

Things I'm grateful for:

Have my kids full time
I have a great job
I rent a house in a safe, quiet neighborhood.
My rent is relatively cheap for the area
Did I mention my kids? lol
We've gotten closer
I have a newish car.
I live close to work.
I have great coworkers/friends
I have a great attorney who is looking out for me
She's mean even to me (in a good way). lol
I work for a court which led me to said attorney

Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 914
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 914
Hi kas99. I'm sorry that what you love and cherish is ending, and that the old is ending. But there is a new chapter beginning. You can still have a great life ahead of you without being dependent on another person to fulfill it. I know that doesn't take away the rejection, the hurt and the pain, as well as 28 years of attachment. But don't ever let someone else's actions choices or expectations stop you from leading a beautiful life. as I am saying is I'm driving and I just passed a cross on the highway that said practice gratitude. I can see that you're doing that and it's a good thing to be grateful for what you do have. God is good all the time

Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
Sending positive vibes your way, kas. Take one day at a time.

Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,622
Likes: 12
K
kas99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,622
Likes: 12
Good news - bad news

Bad news: My boss did some snooping for me. WAH got promoted. What a jerk. Paying me peanuts while his income went UP.

Good news: He got promoted and that means more money for ME.

Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,622
Likes: 12
K
kas99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,622
Likes: 12
I’m so angry. He got promoted right after he left. Cried poor mouth and I bought it. The reason he felt like crap was because his idiot friend coached him until the guilt went away. WAH knew what he’d done was wrong and it made him physically sick. Ah but he stayed firm to his decision but I think it still haunts him. All those secrets. All those lies. His own kids don’t know he has the position he’s wanted for 10 years.

I know now that he didn’t file because I hired an attorney instead of doing that do it yourself divorce crap that his idiot friend recommended. The gig was up and he knew it. Retreat. Retreat. He didn’t have doubts he didn’t want to pay me.

Page 1 of 10 1 2 3 9 10

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard