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ozman #2872177 11/14/19 06:00 PM
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Originally Posted by ozman
Just wondering about the future out there
There are so many amazing women out there. You will do fine. Personally, dating other woman should not be on your radar right now. You have more important things to deal with right now. You follow Gekko? If not read his thread.

PS: I am will be deer hunting near Hasty for next few days. Wish me luck. looking for Boone and Crockett


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
ozman #2872203 11/14/19 08:02 PM
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Dating is not on my radar. No worries there. I was just pondering the future


Me 32. W. 30
T 10 years M 8
S 8

Bd 5-31-19
ozman #2872229 11/14/19 11:47 PM
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The biggest thing I learned from my D. I would much rather be alone than with someone who treated me cruelly and disrespectfully. And you can’t change her into the way you want her to be.

ozman #2872230 11/15/19 12:00 AM
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I just met a man who just celebrated his 59th wedding anniversary. When I asked him how he did it? Never give up he replied


Me 32. W. 30
T 10 years M 8
S 8

Bd 5-31-19
ozman #2872231 11/15/19 12:12 AM
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Originally Posted by ozman
I just met a man who just celebrated his 59th wedding anniversary. When I asked him how he did it? Never give up he replied


In my career I meet couples who have been married 50+ years all the time and I always ask them how.

Please don’t confuse never give up with chasing after someone who isn’t in it.

HE didn’t do it. They did it as a couple. Your question should have been how did THEY do it? Because one person cannot make a marriage last 50+ years. They both never gave up

ozman #2872252 11/15/19 11:33 AM
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I like to add that my parents have been married for 60 years. When I was first going through my sitch my mom told me that she wanted out after living with my dad for two weeks. She didn't leave him because her sister just got divorced and moved home and she didn't want to be a burden on her parents. Then my brother was born and she stayed for the children.

The point is the amount of years really don't mean anything. You need two emotionally healthy individuals who are mature enough to know that there will be good times and there will be bad times. Enjoy the good times and work hard TOGETHER through the bad times. Unfortunately that's very rare.

ozman #2872255 11/15/19 12:09 PM
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These days people see divorce as a convenience. It is easier for one person in a couple that has problems to split and walk away, rather than face them and go through a storm together and hopefully come out the other side and repair relationships, not just with each other but with family and friends that may have been affected by one (or both) spouses talking behind the other's back.

I find it sad that nowadays people can be in love for years, build up to a fabulous wedding, memories, laughter, love. Then one person makes a mistake and the other sees an escape route out as preferable to staying and working together.


Me - 36, W - 32
No kids
T - 8 yr, M - 3 yr
Discovery - 14 May 2019
S - 25 May 2019 & D bomb - 29 July 2019
D & House sale final - Feb 2020
ozman #2872257 11/15/19 12:32 PM
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You are all correct. The old man told me that sometimes he was only contributing 10% and his W 90% to the marriage. But then it would flip and be the other way around but they always had faiththat the other would come through.


Me 32. W. 30
T 10 years M 8
S 8

Bd 5-31-19
Ginger1 #2872279 11/15/19 05:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
Originally Posted by ozman
I just met a man who just celebrated his 59th wedding anniversary. When I asked him how he did it? Never give up he replied


In my career I meet couples who have been married 50+ years all the time and I always ask them how.

Please don’t confuse never give up with chasing after someone who isn’t in it.

HE didn’t do it. They did it as a couple. Your question should have been how did THEY do it? Because one person cannot make a marriage last 50+ years. They both never gave up


Well said! I too have met many couples who have been married a long time and pretty much all of them have been through some really bad spots similar to what we see here. The difference is, like you said, both of them chose to work on the M.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
ozman #2872305 11/15/19 08:51 PM
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Yup.

So the question remains. What do I do now? Is filing for D before or after lease is up have any consequences.

If I file does this mean I’m not standing for marriage?

Steve’s statement “the worst thing a human can do is wait for another human to act”. Is still ringing in my ears. Or..... my eyes.....or something

Lol. You guys get it


Me 32. W. 30
T 10 years M 8
S 8

Bd 5-31-19
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