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Originally Posted by AllenA

STOP telling her "separation"... She doesn't want separation she wants an AFFAIR.

You need to fix your terminology big time.

This isn't about her separating ok?
Its about her choosing

a. An affair rather than
b. Her family


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Good luck tonight.


Stay calm. Walk away as needed.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Do I apologize for lashing out at her during the confrontation? I know it sounds crazy but I am feeling quite a bit of guilt because of some things that I said.

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Originally Posted by kbuenob
Do I apologize for lashing out at her during the confrontation? I know it sounds crazy but I am feeling quite a bit of guilt because of some things that I said.

NO! Stay calm. Walk away as needed.

Originally Posted by "AnotherStander"
DO NOT try to talk to her for a while, at least a week, about ANYTHING. I would suggest shutting down ALL conversations with her until your emotions settle

Originally Posted by "Ready2Change"
DO NOT ENGAGE IN CONVERSATION. LISTEN if needed.

Originally Posted by "CWarrior"
Hold-off on expressing your feelings just now. You haven't had enough time to process them. If she talks, it's okay to listen and validate.

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Teaching moment for LBS.

Earlier K you said you were done if you found out there was an A you found out there was an A and you are not done. This is why it is sometimes hard to give advice on confronting.

Now fear is kicking in and you want to apologize to W for the way you handled the confrontation. This shows weakness and the WW will take full advantage.

It is very important for the LBS to show strength once A as exposed. Showing weakness will put you into to limbo land with lots of cake on top.

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Originally Posted by kbuenob
lashing out at her during ... some things that I said.
All depends on what you mean by lashing out and what you said.

Today is not the day to apologize. Today is controlling your emotions and your actions.

You have big decisions to make. Take time to process everything. Do not make emotional decisions. Do not make instant decisions.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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job Offline
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Please start a new thread and link the threads together.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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