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Do you ever call it a chesterfield? That would be a dead Kanuk giveaway too. Where do those double Yankees get these terms??????


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
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Originally Posted by Dawn70
Do you ever call it a chesterfield?

I've always called it a couch. I've known people that call it a sofa, but in my family we always called it a couch.

My grandparents, my mother's parents, were originally from Tennessee. They married when they were 20 years old and immediately afterward they moved to Miami. They had some quaint southern expressions. I always thought it was funny when my grandfather would say "cut half in two." He had a grapefruit tree in his backyard, so we'd often have grapefruit that he'd cut half in two. And, he always drank his iced tea from a mason jar.

Isn't it fun to hijack Andrew's thread?

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Originally Posted by doodler

My grandparents, my mother's parents, were originally from Tennessee. They married when they were 20 years old and immediately afterward they moved to Miami. They had some quaint southern expressions. I always thought it was funny when my grandfather would say "cut half in two." He had a grapefruit tree in his backyard, so we'd often have grapefruit that he'd cut half in two. And, he always drank his iced tea from a mason jar.

Isn't it fun to hijack Andrew's thread?



Don't even get me started on weird southern expressions because I have a ton of those. One of my dad's favorites is "handy as a pocket on a shirt". I think such sayings are dying out though. Yesterday, one of my students said something to me as he was leaving class and I said "I'll be there with bells on" and he just looked at me like I had sprouted a 2nd head and said "what does that mean, I have never heard it before...………." Ugh, I'm old.

And yes, hijacking Andrew's thread does appear to be entertaining, at least to me. But is it really Andrew's thread or is it yours? Inquiring minds want to know...…………………...


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
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6 grandkids
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Originally Posted by Dawn70
But is it really Andrew's thread or is it yours? Inquiring minds want to know...…………………...

Andrew can certainly assure you that he's not doodler. doodler can assure you that certainty is never certain.

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Originally Posted by Dawn70
Do you ever call it a chesterfield? That would be a dead Kanuk giveaway too. Where do those double Yankees get these terms??????
Chesterfield has fallen out of use here a few years ago and we do generally refer to it as a "couch" these days.

I do find it amusing though how the definition of "South" can fluctuate in the US. The more "South" you are the more "North" everyone else is. Except Floridians who as we've discussed are actually Canadians who prefer to not have to shovel off their car to get to the early-bird lunch specials.

job is I believe from Maryland and I know that even as close as Virginia that they don't really regard people from Maryland as Southerners although I recall being in a restaurant in Maryland a couple of years ago listening to a woman going on about how her daughter was a True Southern Lady.

I know that I once referred to my son-in-law from Georgia as a "Yankee Sailor" - and he was quite offended smile

We have a similar thing here with "Westerners" and "Northerners" where the purity of that definition is in the mind of the person who the label is applied to.

Originally Posted by doodler
Originally Posted by Dawn70
But is it really Andrew's thread or is it yours? Inquiring minds want to know...…………………...

Andrew can certainly assure you that he's not doodler. doodler can assure you that certainty is never certain.
Ah yes - are any of us actually real? That is indeed a question worth pondering in this modern age when robots try to seduce us via Ashley Madison profiles - or so I've read.

Originally Posted by Dawn70
And, he always drank his iced tea from a mason jar.

Isn't it fun to hijack Andrew's thread?
Now you've done it and got me started on the subject of tea. I have never been able to get a decent cuppa anywhere south of the Great Lakes. I do know that when I cross the Mason-Dixon that I have to remember to order "hot tea" or if it's a hot day "unsweet tea". I have also learned that Southerners have disdain for anything pretending to be a sweet tea that isn't so super-saturated with sugar in it that one single nucleation point would undoubtedly turn it into a solid.

And my own theory is that you all are bored with this thread title and are waiting to see what I come up with next ...

-------------------------

And now - The News.

Halloween was a lot of fun for me. My next door neighbour was worried that I wouldn't put the boat out and posted about it on Facebook the day before. I reassured her that it would indeed be out and since I was working from home and the weather wasn't too bad I put it across the drive in it's usual spot early in the morning while I was wearing my stylish plaid PJs and big rubber boots. Her grand-daughter happened to be on their back deck at the time and asked if I would put it out so I pointed.

We had a chat later and she's doing OK on her own separation / divorce. Her STBX she says is being decent and still helping to pay the bills but is pushing her to sell the house which if I recall correctly she bought on her own years before she met him and is presumably only in her name. They were together for I think about 7 or 8 years but never legally married. I'm glad that it's not going as badly as I had imagined given her STBX's anger issues.

As usual I was ready for the kids way early - sometimes the wee ones can come as early as 5:00. The weather turned blustery and wet as forecast and so I didn't put the mast up on the boat because first off it was safer to leave it down, I wanted to put it away easily into the shed regardless of the weather, and finally that nobody sees any decoration farther than 5 feet off the ground when it's dark anyway.

People were in good spirits (ha ha - see what I did there smile ) and a few commented that they always make a point of coming to my house. I did see one little girl posing in front of the boat for pictures too. It is quite the landmark.

I ended up getting about 50 kids so have about 50 bags of candy left. Some will be set aside for Christmas stockings and the rest distributed between S25 and S' posse.

-----------

I was going to write a longer, more detailed post, but I'm going to take that over to my personal diary. Yes - as those who know me will agree - this is the short version.

S and I have now been out for quite a few dates - in the neighbourhood of a dozen or so I would think. She was at the house yesterday for the first time on her way home from one of her side-hustles, saw the downstairs and didn't run screaming. I made sure to leave an unwashed butter knife on the counter so that it wasn't too tidy - something that in an apartment with 4 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, 1 rabbit and a fish - she has no recent experience with. She met one of the cats and they seemed to get along well. She was excited to see the piano.

And yes - the ILU has been recently mutually exchanged. She is very enthusiastic about that. I'm still working on my comfort with that especially since the memory of it going sideways with B is still very fresh. There is no future talk or planning. We're just taking it - or at least I am - one date at a time. Situations with both of us being what they are, we both have a lot of things to deal with in our own lives before thinking of anything else.

We are going to be spending much of this Saturday together and she is over for dinner (steak with fried mushrooms, baked potato - simple bachelor cooking - I believe she's bringing snacks). S25 essentially shrugged when I gave him a heads-up last night.

When we were out Wednesday S - who is Facebook friends with my ex - mentioned that she had been worried about the drama and angst she had been seeing and if I was the cause. She knows positively that I have nothing to do with my ex or her drama. There was a bit of eye-rolling about both the drama and the various echo-chambers around my ex who enable her. S did say that she's been seeing just "happy lady" things in the last little while. I really don't care and if she gives me more updates I'll need to let her know that.

I am worried that D27 continues to not engage with me. I'm thinking of reaching out to her H just to ask about a Christmas list with the aside note that his wife isn't talking to me. I've got to get that bought and in to the mail in the next week or so so that it will arrive in time in San Diego. It's easy in this day and age to ignore someone and she has every right to do so. As back-story, I made a comment to her that she needed to be careful of new male friends as it can go sideways unexpectedly even if it seems safe at the start. Following that, any message I've sent has been unread. I have sent her a card with an apology for being blunt and intrusive a week ago as I expect that post she will pick up. I've not tried to call as she has the right to control her interactions with others including her own father.

S25 I think is struggling a bit right now as well. He was operating well in to the rage area for most of yesterday so I just gave him his space. No clue what was up but I suspect it was worries about lack of work and money. I do also honestly think that some of it is related to food. I remember when he was young and his mother obliged me to take him (he wasn't interested) out to breakfast, I learned not to try to talk to him until he had about a 1/3 of his breakfast eaten. By the time I was closing up from Halloween he was still grumpy but the anger wasn't there and after he finished his dinner his mood was good enough that I was able to mention S's upcoming visit. I feel that it is important to not blind-side him with someone like that coming over. He was meh about it.

Well - no clue if I'll post on the weekend, hence this early post. I'm going to try to make the time to get a lot of my monthly cleaning done. It's a priority for me. Most of the leaves are now down although covered with 2" of snow this morning. I need to get those raked up an in to the yard waste compost heap. The flower beds and misc furniture and fixtures all need to be packed away as well. If it doesn't happen the world won't end.

Until later.


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sorry to Hijack this thread.

Originally Posted by Dawn70
is that why we haven't heard from Vanilla lately? Have y'all taken her personality over? Inquiring minds want to know! Vanilla, if you are in there, blink twice!!!!! We miss you, sweet lady.


Where is Vanilla? Is she OK. I have not been here for a while.

RAI


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Originally Posted by RAI
sorry to Hijack this thread.

Originally Posted by Dawn70
is that why we haven't heard from Vanilla lately? Have y'all taken her personality over? Inquiring minds want to know! Vanilla, if you are in there, blink twice!!!!! We miss you, sweet lady.


Where is Vanilla? Is she OK. I have not been here for a while.

RAI
Vanilla is on hiatus for a while. She's doing OK I believe and told me that she may be back later when the time is right for her again.


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you fall in love rather quickly. She must too with her marriages and the such. What is Love to you? Would you say it’s more infatuation? Do you feel like you truly love this woman? Or are you infatuated and enjoying the Limerance? Which is quite reasonable for this stage. Everyone had a different meaning of love, so I’m just inquiring.

I’ve shared those words with 3 people in my life. They take on a very deep meaning to me. I’ve dated a lot of guys after marriage, albeit for short periods of time, but I’ve loved my husband, I loved the connection I had with exNG, and I did really love M, it was built over time and when I said it, it was because it was a commitment to love him going forward him, to love his son, etc.

What does love mean to you?

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I also realize this next question could be taken the wrong way, sonkm going to apologize in advance. But I have to ask.

I, as a mother of a 12 year old could not fathom 12 dates in a few week period. I could not dig up the time for that if I tried, and without greatly taking away from my 12 year old daughter. I also have a full time job, which she does not. But she has no time to work?

I’m truly afraid you have your blinders on. Enjoying time together is one thing. But her priorities are shot and I’m so afraid you will fall into a trap of digging her out of holes. Exchanging “ily” is a form of commitment in my book. I urge you to take quality a bit of time to really get to know her. I absolutely agree you should enjoy having a companion. I’m so happy for you for that. But please recognize what long term means with this woman before you jump into commitment again. Pleeeeeease. I’m saying this as a concerned friend. Infatuation can be blinding. I know that from first hand experience.

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I have to agree with Ginger, yeah shocker, I know... although it's not always the case, but probably more often than not. But it made me look back too, how many women have I said ILY to? Now I'm guessing you may say you and Ginger are on the same number - 3. The possible difference is you've loved 3 different women in the past, what 3 years? and 2 in the past 3 months. For me the number is 5 - unless the 16 year old junior I dated somewhat casually in highschool as a senior counts (though we may have been 17 and 18 when we said it) I've been told by several it doesn't count, so not counting it LOL. Three of the others were all very LTRs or marriage. 2 of the 5 were more of an I Love Ya rather than I love you kind of thing.

What I do know is none came after a month of dating. I think your first date was on September 29th. Ginger's right, 12 dates in one month is A LOT. Although are you counting a half hour or hour stop over as a date? Either way, how does a mother of 3 have time for a dozen dates in a month - but not time for a real job? Or perhaps that is her part-time job? I mean, I don't at all think she thinks of it that way, at least I certainly hope not, but dang this is all very fast. If she's moving in by the end of the year, a clear pattern has formed.

Originally Posted by Ginger1
I’m truly afraid you have your blinders on. Enjoying time together is one thing. But her priorities are shot and I’m so afraid you will fall into a trap of digging her out of holes. Exchanging “ily” is a form of commitment in my book. I urge you to take quality a bit of time to really get to know her. I absolutely agree you should enjoy having a companion. I’m so happy for you for that. But please recognize what long term means with this woman before you jump into commitment again. Pleeeeeease. I’m saying this as a concerned friend. Infatuation can be blinding. I know that from first hand experience.

I can't say it any better so I won't even try. I guess to me, being in love with someone is serious business. I'm just not sure everyone sees it that way. I'd say for sure B did not and I'm not so sure S does either. I really think you, as someone who seems very adapt at critical thinking, would. Your D is currently not wanting to talk to you, your S has been, well he's been himself for awhile now. There is zero communication with your ExW, I get why you might really cherish someone who is giving you lots of attention. But, what's the rush?


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Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
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