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phnix #2869445 10/24/19 06:34 PM
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AS, I’m pretty sure in this case AP is for Affair Partner. My understanding is the principal is the AP/OM and the one removed from the job.

44tries2 #2869451 10/24/19 07:00 PM
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Originally Posted by 44tries2
AS, I’m pretty sure in this case AP is for Affair Partner. My understanding is the principal is the AP/OM and the one removed from the job.


AAAH! That does make more sense. Wow, so the ramifications are finally coming home to roost for them.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
phnix #2869521 10/25/19 01:40 PM
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AP is affair partner - he is no longer the Principal. They moved him to another location. He was not fired.

phnix #2869586 10/26/19 12:00 AM
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So bballer1,
How is the galling doing? , you have a lot going for you , if most people had the chance to swap your position with theirs I would expect more than 66% would swap in an instance . You have a great value , do not let how you feel or the present predicament sway your thoughts otherwise . Vikings rule dood , you can do it !!

Tryhard #2869634 10/27/19 03:33 AM
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“TH”, Played golf today and then came home and watched football. Galling has been difficult due to living in a rural area and not much to do. I don’t have a lot of friends and hang out at my moms most of the time. As I detach, so does she but it’s best for me to continue doing it.

I think my best course of action is to just not have any communication with her at all. I continually have anger due to this situation and the both of us being public figures.

She has no interest in the marriage and wants me to file for divorce. I’m not ready to do that and willing to wait it out for her to file. Unfortunately she is quiet happy continuing to live a “double life”.

Because this has gone public I have had many people call and ask about our situation. This seems to make it worse and gives me feelings of shame due to it happening and due to me knowing that it is still going on. I know her well enough to know that she is continuing the affair.

phnix #2869782 10/29/19 01:36 AM
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Had a good day at work. Practice went well and I got home fairly late. She wanted to talk about her day so I listened and validated. As soon as she was done I didn’t share my day but left the room and went to my room.
Yesterday wasn’t a good day due to her waking me up about my brother making a comment on a social media post in regards to the affair. The comment was deleted so she wanted to know what he said and I refused to question him.

She became angry and said she was filing for divorce today. Well that never happened. She didn’t text me all day and I didn’t text her as well. So much going on here that I’m glad I’ve got my sport going on. This will take up so much of my time and it will give me a chance to not be around.

I don’t think she will file for divorce so I’m in this for the long haul. I’ve realized the longer she continues her affair the more damage she will do to herself and her own conscience. I’ve been there before almost 17 years ago. It ruins your soul.

She will come to her senses someday and the regret will be very tough on her.

phnix #2870177 10/31/19 05:16 PM
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Well I've had a good couple of days. Getting stronger and letting her go out of my mind. It has been a relief.
She tried to be affectionate last night after three days of not any talking. I told her she needed to respect my boundaries and return to her room.

I told her on Sunday that any and all communication needed to be only about our boys. I would not text or reply otherwise. She has text this morning thanking me for being kind the past 2 months. I did not respond.

Now why I have finally decided to let go? My experience has been like most others, in that I have caught her time and time again. Well Sunday her apple watch was beside my bed and I just couldn't resist. She was talking with her friend about things her and the OM were talking about. She even mentioned that she was jealous and mad because the OM was talking to another "pretty teacher". It's like finally a light bulb went off and now I am done and I have accepted that it will never change.

I can not believe how crazy I have been for the past 5 months. All the worrying and sleepless nights over someone that treats me like this and not having enough self-respect to set boundaries. I have now realized that I will make my own happiness. I have now realized that I can only control myself and what I do. No one can make someone love them or change their mind. It has to be that person that makes the decision.

I am going to continue moving forward and I am not going to allow myself to go backwards anymore. Oh, and as for the watch. I gave it to her last night and told her to no longer charge it in my room. Moving forward and upward!!!

phnix #2870302 11/01/19 12:45 PM
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That’s good , but be prepared to be drawn back in . Hopefully you can get doing something you always wanted to do but couldn’t . Any ideas ?

phnix #2870318 11/01/19 02:12 PM
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Onward and upward. Go man!

Keep detaching and moving forward. Be the lighthouse for your kids. Shine there BB!


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
phnix #2870388 11/01/19 06:57 PM
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I can't think of a thing I would want to do at this point. I have always wanted to get out of this rural area and Coach in a bigger city and at a bigger school. I've had many opportunities to move but didn't take the job because my stitch never wanted to leave her family. I was in an urban area for 5 years coaching and had a blast. I transferred back closer to home so I could spend more time with my family.

The only problem with doing that is my son would have to choose who to live with and it would make things more difficult going forward. I know I wouldn't want to only see him on the weekends etc... He would probably choose to live with me but you never know.

She has been trying to draw me back in almost like "temp checking" just see if I am still concerned about her. She got upset last night and threatened to file today. She then text me this morning that she wasn't going to do anything out of anger or emotions. Claims we need time apart, which is code for I want to continue my relationship with the OM. She is playing games and I am fed up. I left last night and went to town to my mothers house. Guess who showed up? She drives up and spends 30 minutes talking with my mother. Games, Games, and more games. She is just playing games. I am tired of the games, finally!!!!

I have contacted my lawyer today. I am gathering paperwork and information to help minimize the legal cost down the road. I am not ready to file myself because I still have fear that I may regret it. Unfortunately that fear is more so for my son.

I sat my son down and told him the truth. I told him I was thinking about filing for divorce and that it wasn't fair to him for all of us having to live this way. His response was "no, don't do that right now." He would rather us sleep in different beds and be together than see us split up. I guess I am going to stick it out for a little while. When I know for sure I want to proceed with divorce then I will make the decision.

The paralegal I spoke with said if she knows you know and continues to see the OM then you have to leave or do something. She claims that by doing nothing then I am complicit with what is going on. I quickly told her that most lawyers suggest to not leave the marital home. Besides I could never leave my son behind.

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