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A Message from Michele
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Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2867215
10/03/19 07:29 PM
10/03/19 07:29 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,387
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Dawn70  Offline OP
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My dad is a generally positive and loving man and I have been blessed in this life with an amazing set of parents. I'm truly fortunate to have been raised by 2 such wonderful individuals. While my dad is awesome, he sometimes has an odd outlook and one of his long-time sayings is "if it weren't for the bad luck I had, I wouldn't have any luck at all". I'm TOTALLY feeling that vibe today and it is weighing on me like a ton of bricks.

My brother called me last night to 1.) let me know that he and his girlfriend have found a house and are now moving the very same weekend I have been planning to move. (It frustrates me because we were relying on him and my nephew to help us, but now they will be moving their own stuff and we are left with no one while my brother has called in his army of friends to help him. So frustrating, but we'll get past it.) and 2.) our stepmother is in the hospital and is not doing well at all and there is a very real possibility that she may not make it. Now, we have never had a close relationship with her, like a mother/child relationship, because she came into our lives when we were all long into adulthood, but we all like her and she likes all of us and most importantly, she makes my dad happy and if he's happy, then we're happy, so we are all good to go there. I am truly saddened for her, her daughters, her grandchildren and my dad and I worry about how this will affect him in the long run.

I love Sparky and he's a good man, but sometimes he and I don't process things the same way, so when I told him about my brother's move, his initial response was "that [censored]" (which I TOTALLY agreed with). He didn't say anything for a few minutes, then he came back with something to the effect of he knew it sounded crappy but bro's move is not more important than ours. While I didn't necessarily think it sounded crappy per se, I just wondered what it meant, because my main reason in telling him was not because I was suggesting we postpone our move or anything. I was just sharing information so we could figure out what we needed to do to make ours happen with less people. I told him I agreed his move wasn't more important than ours, but to my brother it is. Just like to us ours is more important. I assured him I was not trying to change our plans but just sharing info.

So, then, I made a financial mistake and it was kind of a big one. It's a long story and I won't go into particulars here because it won't likely make sense, but the gist of it is I did something I know better than doing and counted on money I didn't actually have in hand and paid some bills with that in mind, then the money fell through and I was left scrambling to cover something else. I just flat screwed up. So, I told Sparky and in the process of the conversation I broke down and started crying. I'm a big crier. I can't help it. Always have been. In that moment, I felt stupid, defeated, like a loser and like I had completely let him down. He listened and validated as best he could, but sometimes his way of validating comes across as a bit cold to me and in that moment I just really needed to hear something like "it will all be ok". I'll talk to him about it later, when we can actually talk face to face and I do appreciate the things he did say, but I was just feeling extremely low in the moment. I was able to fix the issue with a few phone calls and some money shuffling, but I was just upset with myself and angry at myself in the moment.

Then, just to make sure I was awake, the universe smacked me again. My youngest daughter's mother called to let me know they had to rush her to the ER today because she has having abdominal pains so bad that she couldn't even stand up. This is the same daughter that had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago. I'm sure everyone who is a parent feels exactly like I did in that moment and that is you hate to see your child hurt and you want to do anything in your power to take away that pain that they feel.

I'm left feeling stressed and low at this point. I have cried enough tears for about 10 people today and feel like I'm on the verge of crying more any time now. This is a time when I would dearly love to already live in the same house with Sparky so I could just go home and cuddle up on the couch with him and just know that everything would be fine. But I can't. And, it's ok. Everything really will be fine. Just on a downward slump right now, but it will pick back up.


Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
1 adult daughter and bonus daughter-in-law from current H's first marriage
Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2867226
10/03/19 08:15 PM
10/03/19 08:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,054
Canada
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AndrewP Offline
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Big hugs ((((Dawn))))


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2869444
10/24/19 06:33 PM
10/24/19 06:33 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,387
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Dawn70  Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
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I havenít updated in weeks and there really isnít much to say. Weíd planned on my being moved into Sparkyís house by the beginning of Oct, then had to push it back to mid-month and now we are pushing it back to 1st weekend in November. All because we are having trouble coordinating getting a minor gas leak fixed so we can get the propane tank filled to have heat and hot water and the ability to use the cook stove. Ugh! We so shouldíve started all this earlier but coulda woulda shoulda, you know.

On the plus side, there was a chemical spill in our building at work on Oct 8 and we were evacuated from the building. We are still out and so my boss has been letting me work from home. That has been great because Iíve been able to get all my packing done and organized better than having to hurry through the house in a weekend and get it all ready to move. Last weekend my best friend helped us move a bunch of the smaller stuff and this weekend, we are going to move most of the kitchen stuff and all my clothes and stuff that I donít have to have right now. Then next weekend, Iíll borrow a livestock trailer from my dad and round up some help and weíll get the rest packed out of here.

Life is good. Emotional right now because Iím moving to a new home and a new life and going down the marriage road again. But, emotional isnít necessarily bad. wink


Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
1 adult daughter and bonus daughter-in-law from current H's first marriage
Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2869455
10/24/19 07:17 PM
10/24/19 07:17 PM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,741
Midwest
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DonH Offline
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DonH  Offline
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Originally Posted by Dawn70
All because we are having trouble coordinating getting a minor gas leak fixed so we can get the propane tank filled to have heat and hot water and the ability to use the cook stove.

Wow, you really do live in Arkansas don't you!

Sorry, that simply could not be resisted! smile


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2869459
10/24/19 07:28 PM
10/24/19 07:28 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,387
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Dawn70  Offline OP
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Yes, indeed I do. And this move will take me from city life (about 5000 people) to an old house on 30 acres in the middle of the woods, bordered on 1 side by a major river. Nearest ďtownĒ to the new house is about 5 or 6 miles but the road is paved the whole way. Said nearest town boasts a population of about 300. wink


Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
1 adult daughter and bonus daughter-in-law from current H's first marriage
Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2869490
10/25/19 12:06 AM
10/25/19 12:06 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,511
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kml Offline
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Quote
city life (about 5000 people)

LOLOL

Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2869561
10/25/19 07:39 PM
10/25/19 07:39 PM
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
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doodler Offline
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Originally Posted by Dawn70
And this move will take me from city life (about 5000 people) to an old house on 30 acres in the middle of the woods, bordered on 1 side by a major river.


Leastwise it ain't Two Egg which is just up the road a piece from me. Ain't nothin' but a couple or twenty folks livin' thar and they's all kin. Been like that fer about thirty generations. I ain't one of 'em.

Re: Turn the Page [Re: doodler] #2869568
10/25/19 08:51 PM
10/25/19 08:51 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,054
Canada
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AndrewP Offline
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Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,054
Canada
Originally Posted by doodler
Leastwise it ain't Two Egg which is just up the road a piece from me. Ain't nothin' but a couple or twenty folks livin' thar and they's all kin. Been like that fer about thirty generations. I ain't one of 'em.
A year or so ago I was out at a pub the next village over and the staff were complaining about how Tinder kept matching them up with their cousins. I mentioned this to S25 when I got home and he commented - Yep - 400 people, 3 last names.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2869574
10/25/19 09:13 PM
10/25/19 09:13 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,387
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Dawn70  Offline OP
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Posts: 2,387
Yeah, pretty common in some areas. Southwest Arkansas is very rural in some areas. There are cities but what we call cities and what those who live in more populous areas call cities often differ. For the record, Sparky and I are NOT related. I know people make fun of Arkansas but itís a beautiful state and Iím proud to be from here. Canít imagine living anywhere else. (Cue barefoot hillbilly jokes...)


Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
1 adult daughter and bonus daughter-in-law from current H's first marriage
Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2869578
10/25/19 10:08 PM
10/25/19 10:08 PM
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
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doodler Offline
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Originally Posted by Dawn70
For the record, Sparky and I are NOT related.

Will they allow you and Sparky to get married in Arkansas?

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