Funny? I thought I read skydiving instead of ATVing for GAL. That's what prompted that joke. I guess the mind sees what it wants to see. Have a blast quadding man! I love it. Have a few upstste NY and a few 3 wheelers too from the 80's. Don't forget to wear protection. (For riding that is. ;-) )
Thanks will do. I have a 400ex. Ridden a few 3 wheelers too. Never again that’s right up there with marriage for unpredictability.
Ahh I remember those. The 3 wheelers took me a while to get reacquainted with them since I rode the ATC 70 and ATC 110m in the 80's. I was 7. Then went over to the quads through the 90's. Built an 86 ATC 250r (That's been rotting.) In 2006. First time I took it out. I said to my then 10yr old niece. WATCH THIS!!! I revved up the throttlen jolted out of first gear and did a grand stand straight up in the air on the front lawn. Lol...Took about a week of riding to get used to giving it more body English to control it. If you learn how to do that, they are just as safe.
So Sunday was relativey quiet. I took the kids to my parents we got home after my wife did from her orchestra concert. I was quiet with her. When she would talk to me I was polite and validated when I needed to spent time in a different room from her. Kids have been sick so that has been tough. She has stepped up some. Today I had work. When I got home we talked about some finance stuff for a few. She brought up that she was trying to set counseling up for this week. I said basically ok. I have been killing GAL this week. Been talking to friends, hitting the gym. Not really spending much time around her. She seems to look for reasons to text me. If it isnt important I respond when I have time.
Her last little fiasco on Friday pushed me into I’m done with this crap or letting her control my life with her awful decisions. I very much mourned my marriage this weekend. I remembered the good the bad. Had a good cry about it. Then I got up brushed the dirt off and decided I’m getting myself good and totally flipped a switch. I went from trying to GAL to just doing it. I haven’t focused on what she has been up. I’m becoming AMOAFWL and the best part is I’m doing it myself.
Last edited by MJ1980; 10/15/1903:09 AM.
M:39 W:36 D: 4 D: 2 BD:8/22/2019 Currently dealing with a WW
So I wanted your guys opinion on this. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about asking my wife to find a place of her own. She says one thing and does another. She is in a A with someone else and doesn’t want to stop it. She filed for divorce. I countered. I know it will be very hard on my kids. But our relationship is a mess right now. She doesn’t help around the house much. She is not very nice towards me most days. I’ve been working hard on my self. I some how managed to become ok with either outcome over this last weekend. I know she will threaten to take the kids with her. That’s her go to card. She can’t afford much though. So advice would be welcome.
M:39 W:36 D: 4 D: 2 BD:8/22/2019 Currently dealing with a WW
I know she will threaten to take the kids with her. That’s her go to card.
Hi MJ, I'd talk to an attorney now so you know your recourse in that situation. If she takes and keeps the kids for any time, they'll miss their dad and you'll be in a worse position during custody negotiations.
Originally Posted by MJ1980
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about asking my wife to find a place of her own.
Yeah I agree with LH. Hold tight for now. We see this a lot with people in the thick of their sitches. Those that are doing a live-in separation think it would be easier if the WAS left. Those that had their WAS leave feel it would be easier if the WAS had stayed. They both have their advantages and disadvantages.
So just be patient. Be the best you that you can be. GAL. 180. Detach.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Hey guys it’s been a few since I checked in. So I’ve totally GAL. Been keeping really busy doing things. Been consistent with my 180’s. It’s been great. I’ve actually been feeling happy. Not much has changed with the wife. The D is still progressing at the moment. Although she hasn’t said much or done much about it. I’m truly ok with either outcome for the first time since the BD. That conversation a few weeks ago where she refused to come talk to me about the kids was the slap in the face to me. It awoke me from the state I was in and I realized her actions are very clear despite what she says. I’m done letting her have a say in my happiness and I’m moving forward and doing what’s best for my kids.
M:39 W:36 D: 4 D: 2 BD:8/22/2019 Currently dealing with a WW
So it’s been a bit since I checked in. Been keeping busy. I’ve been going out with friends, hitting the gym, working on my renovation stuff. Things with the wife have been relatively quiet as of late.
Couple things that have happened. She hasn’t had anything negative to say about me. She noticed that I have been working out regularly and commented on how I look. Last night I was out with some friends and she texted me asking if I was having a good time. She also waited up for me. She said some one was banging on the door and that she was scared and glad I was home. This morning she asked me how I slept and tickled my shoulder as she walked by. The D is still moving forward at this point. We are the discovering finances stage. She hasn’t discussed counseling any more after she brought it up. I haven’t asked about it any. No relationship talks in a few weeks I have been validating in our conversations. She has been less negative towards me. She told me that one of her longest and best friends is getting divorced. I said I wasn’t surprised. Their marriage was not good. Then I just listened to what she had to say. I still believe she is still in WW mode.
M:39 W:36 D: 4 D: 2 BD:8/22/2019 Currently dealing with a WW
