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kml Offline OP
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Oh, and we don't know yet if the bleeding is stopped. The surgeon and the GI doc in the hospital both said they didn't think the carcinoid was the source of the bleeding because it was submucosal (below the surface of the intestine) and no evidence of ulceration or bleeding from it. They also didn't see anything on the capsule camera footage of his small intestine. His hematocrit was stable for a few days after surgery but then dropped a bit so they transfused him - that could have been from a little GI oozing from the site where they sewed his intestines back together, OR it could be his mystery source bleeding again, don't know. He'll have repeat blood tests Friday or so and we'll see if he's holding on to those red blood cells or not.

On a better note though - he's had to be on daytime oxygen since shortly after his radiation treatment in August (before was only at night). But yesterday he was off his oxygen for about an hour and a half and his oxygen level remained in the 90's - that's a big improvment over a month ago. Likely just his body calming down from the inflammation that the combo if chemo and radiation triggered. (He's been off chemo now for almost 10 weeks). Bronchoscopy is scheduled Friday to see what's going on in his lung right now and new chemo decisions will be made after that.

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I know you have so much on your plate right now. I'm sending you a {{{{{{{kml}}}}}}}


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Back atcha {{{{{{{{buttrfly}}}}}}}}

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CMMs bronchoscopy yesterday went smoothly. We won’t know much until biopsy results are back next week. ( This was done to assess some PET scan changes, with a goal to direct our next chemo or radiation step.)

Meanwhile his daytime oxygen levels seem to have returned to normal after the big dump they took in August, which is a relief.

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Good news, the lung biopsy of the new area of concern was hegative for cancer, and the carcinoid tumor pathology did not look aggressive.

Had a nice dinner last night with a couple I knew when my oldest was a toddler. Sweet people, good hearted, salt of the earth. So glad they stopped to visit while they were in town.

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CMM is recovering slowly from his surgery. (The "bonus" umbilical hernia repair that the surgeon threw in turns out to be the worst part of the healing). We met with his oncologist Friday who wants to hold off on chemo until January and see what a repeat CT scan looks like at that time. He seems to think the tumor mass is dead but I'm not sure I agree, as CMM's sputum has become blood-tinged again (it was clear for a while). But I plan to use this time to crank back up his adjunctive treatments and it will be nice for him to have a reprieve from chemo during the holidays.

Getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner this week at my house with my kids. It's my favorite holiday meal because it's easy to do gluten-free (Three Bakers GF stuffing mix, folks). The hardest part of the divorce at first was splitting up the holidays but we're all used to it now, it's my turn this year. Honestly, if my ex hadn't been such a wanker in the years after the divorce I would have no problem inviting him and his wife, but no. Nope.

It does remind me though that I need to work on widening my circle of friends. I have friends, don't get me wrong, but as an introvert I had relied on my ex a lot to organize dinner parties and the like. As I get older, I see the benefits of having a close circle of friends that do things together, and it would be to my benefit to work on that now.

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Looking forward to Thanksgiving at my house, we will miss my Mom but Thanksgiving supper has been my job for many years now (since my own kids were small really). FB memories brought up a video of my mom today smile

Weird story about my exH; he left us in a January, and he filed for divorce in maybe that March. We sold our house in June and I moved in with my mother. That November, exH actually asked (through my kids) if he could come to Thanksgiving at my mother's house!!! WTH? The answer was a resounding "H3ll No" - I mean, even if I HAD felt so inclined - which I definitely didn't by that time - why would he ever think that my mom would welcome him at her table after the way he had treated me? My mom didn't put up with that nonsense. (And it's not like we had any back-and-forth or attempts at reconciliation in that year - once he was finally gone he was GONE and not looking back. This was after several years of me DBing and a previous reconciliation so by the time he moved out I was done too.)

I think about that every year at Thanksgiving - I suspect he was just missing the delicious Thanksgiving meal he knew I would prepare. All the years we were married, I'd be slaving in the kitchen over Thanksgiving dinner with three kids underfoot and he would go out surfing (because, hey, the waves were uncrowded because everybody was doing Thanksgiving stuff with their families). He didn't help prepare the meal (even though he was a decent cook).

Also, Christmas Eve would usually be me up past midnight wrapping the last of the presents and putting them under the tree, while he went off to bed at 9.

Seriously, I was so easy-going and accommodating, but in retrospect, I should have demanded so much more from him.

The good news is, I learned how to make many of my Thanksgiving recipes ahead of time so that now Thanksgiving meal prep is much less stressful, and my grown kids are lots of help. CMM is also very helpful in the kitchen (although his extreme germophobia and slow pace of working can drive me crazy sometimes, so I will be giving him discrete tasks to do that are separate from anything I'm doing. The man has no "hurry up" gear and I feel like The Flash around him sometimes.)

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Happy Thanksgiving to you and CMM and all of your family. I hope you are showered with blessings and that the Universe starts giving back to you after all that you've given to others.


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kml Offline OP
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Thanks devvo. We had a delicious meal and all my kids were there. Unfortunately CMMs germophobia was in high gear. Example :my son pet his (healthy) cat then cut some pie. CMM now cannot have any of the pie because it’s “contaminated”. And worse still, since he’s not simple OCD but has Obsessive CompulsivePersonality Disorder, he has NO insight into the fact that he’s OCD and just thinks he’s right. Ugh!

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Belated Happy Thanksgiving / First day of the left-overs kml!

On the bright side - more pie for everyone else laugh I like pie .... Just sayin .... whistle whistle whistle


On BD
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BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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