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A Message from Michele
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Re: Midlife wife crisis10 [Re: Thornton] #2867287
10/04/19 01:27 PM
10/04/19 01:27 PM
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 483
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Wolfman Offline OP
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Wolfman  Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Thornton
Wolf,
Bottom line, your W needs to think of you as the devil in order to justify her decisions/actions. She is going to keep doing this for awhile.

Keep in mind that she will also try and bait you into fights so she can rationalize and justify her actions to herself and others. Don't fall for her tricks and never react to whatever you might be feeling. Come here to vent if you need to.


I know she has to constantly make me out to be the bad guy. This was way she feels justified in divorcing me. She looks for anything and everything to point out or find the bad in what I do. I will not get roped into fighting or arguing with her, I know thatís what she wants.

AS I agree with you. She doesnít want me but does t want me with anyone either. She likes the idea of plan b. Well I donít want to be plan b anymore. Itís time for me to move on. Itís amazing how selfish these WAW become. She is in for a rude awakening. She thinks I will always be there for her. The other night she text me at 10:30 at night about a form she needs. I didnít respond, I was in bed. She text me again with (?). I didnít respond. Then 5 minutes later why donít you ever respond to me. Still I did not respond. Then she called me twice and I did not answer. Then yesterday morning she called me at 5:50am. I was just getting up for work, so I answered the phone. She said why didnít you respond to me last night. I said I was in bed. Her response was so early? I said yes, what do you want? But she has been use to our relationship where I jump for her all the time. Now that I am not she is getting mad. Oh well. Once everything is signed and done and she is officially my xw it will solely be about the kids and nothing else. She will be my business partner and we are in the business of raising our kids. I am so done with her. My sadness is slowly turning into hatred. I will treat her the same way she treats me, cold.


M:41 W:40
T:19 M: 15
D:12. S:9
BD: 8/10/18
Moved out: 8/18
Moved in: 9/18/18
Moved out: 4/22/19
D papers signed 11/4/19
Re: Midlife wife crisis10 [Re: Wolfman] #2867290
10/04/19 02:05 PM
10/04/19 02:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,068
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neffer Offline
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Wolf, the lighthouse shines for who she was, not for who she is now. Keep that light on. It illumintates your family road, your chlidren are following it. Respect and honor.

Detach some more. Still too many "she"s.


Respect and honor Wolf. You are on that road

(((W)))


WW H(me): 49
W: 45
T: 25 M: 20
S: 15
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
Re: Midlife wife crisis10 [Re: Wolfman] #2867292
10/04/19 02:14 PM
10/04/19 02:14 PM
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,520
Colorado
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Thornton Offline
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Thornton  Offline
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Posts: 2,520
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Be careful, Wolf. The anger you feel right now might not be how you will feel in a day, a month etc.

I wouldn't act cold towards your W, even if she's acting like an ass. Take the high road, your son is watching.


Me 43
He 43
D: 18
D: 12
T: 8 years

Bomb 5/10/2014
Back 7/7/2014

Bomb 2 1/28/2016
Back: 5/2016

Bomb 3 4/3/2017
She moved away with SD: 5/27/2017
Back: 8/1/2018

Bomb 4 9/11/2019
Re: Midlife wife crisis10 [Re: Wolfman] #2867302
10/04/19 03:31 PM
10/04/19 03:31 PM
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 912
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IHCLACS Offline
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If we all had awesome social lives, status, purpise, motivation, ambition, passion, and drive, we wouldn't be so hung up on our sich and our WAS. We wouldn't be looking for someone that is not currently there. We wouldn't be depressed. We need to heal ourselves, focus on ourselves, and live for ourselves.

Re: Midlife wife crisis10 [Re: Wolfman] #2867306
10/04/19 03:46 PM
10/04/19 03:46 PM
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,068
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neffer Offline
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Amen to that IH!


WW H(me): 49
W: 45
T: 25 M: 20
S: 15
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
Re: Midlife wife crisis10 [Re: Wolfman] #2867307
10/04/19 03:56 PM
10/04/19 03:56 PM
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 912
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IHCLACS Offline
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IHCLACS  Offline
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Posts: 912
Wolf if she is acting like an A$$hat. Does that mean you have to too? You want to bring change how you respond to her Wolf? Others too? You want to attract what you want and who you want to be in life? Start treating those that matter as such, and those that don't will not affect you. Their opinion of you is more important than your own as of you right now. What do you think you can do for yourself to change that? Good job on the NC.

Last edited by IHCLACS; 10/04/19 03:57 PM.
Re: Midlife wife crisis10 [Re: Wolfman] #2867343
10/04/19 07:21 PM
10/04/19 07:21 PM
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IHCLACS Offline
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IHCLACS  Offline
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Here is a wise saying I heard yesterday that maybe will help with your mindset.
"When someone shows you their true colors the first time...BELIEVE THEM!"

Re: Midlife wife crisis10 [Re: Wolfman] #2867437
10/06/19 12:16 AM
10/06/19 12:16 AM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,478
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Ready2Change Offline
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Projection and fishing.


H"The LAST thing I need in my life right now is ANOTHER woman." Whit the proper tone and accentuation.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Re: Midlife wife crisis10 [Re: IHCLACS] #2867870
10/10/19 01:47 PM
10/10/19 01:47 PM
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 483
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Wolfman Offline OP
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Originally Posted by neffer
Wolf, the lighthouse shines for who she was, not for who she is now. (((W)))


Very true. She is not the same person I married. Itís so sad who she has become. She is a full blown Narcissist. She only cares about herself and how she feels, no one else. It shows when she has her 75 year old father closing the pool and having him take care of the landscaping. Her mom cleans the inside of the house. Step up and be an mature adult and take care of these things yourself. Her sense of entitlement is disgusting.

Originally Posted by IHCLACS
If we all had awesome social lives, status, purpise, motivation, ambition, passion, and drive, we wouldn't be so hung up on our sich and our WAS. We wouldn't be looking for someone that is not currently there. We wouldn't be depressed. We need to heal ourselves, focus on ourselves, and live for ourselves.


Very true. I think for me itís the idea of starting all over again that makes it hard. I had all those things you mentioned, it was with my family or for my family. Once that changed I felt lost. Little by little Iím finding my way. For me itís be a very slow process.

Thank you everyone else for commenting. I am taking it one day at a time. I am slowly getting better and excepting what is. I donít cry as often, I am happier more, people see a change in me. For me I still have a long way to go. The loss of family is so hard for me. Even when I was a kid I just loved being with family. The final stipulation has been drawn up and we will be signing soon. Itís hard to imagine that I will officially be a single dad. Got to run I will be on again later. Thanks you everyone for your love and support it has helped so much!!!!


M:41 W:40
T:19 M: 15
D:12. S:9
BD: 8/10/18
Moved out: 8/18
Moved in: 9/18/18
Moved out: 4/22/19
D papers signed 11/4/19
Re: Midlife wife crisis10 [Re: Wolfman] #2867876
10/10/19 03:26 PM
10/10/19 03:26 PM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,478
Colorado
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Ready2Change Offline
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Originally Posted by Wolfman
Her sense of entitlement is disgusting.
Her parents enabled her. Learn the leason and do not enable your children.

Parenting with love and logic- everyone pulls their own wagon. We can temporarily help, but do not do things for your kids that they are capable of.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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