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A Message from Michele
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Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2867384
10/05/19 01:36 AM
10/05/19 01:36 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
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kml Offline OP
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Well, spent last night in the ER until mid nite while CMM got transfused two units of blood ( this has been an ongoing problem with some kind of little blood vessel leaking in his gut - NOT tumor related). He went for his regular pre-chemo blood tests yesterday and they called him because his hemoglobin was critically low (5.3!) and he went to the ER to be transfused. Now today we went to his oncology appointment (his oncologist decided to postpone chemo for two more weeks and get another bronchoscopy next week) and on the way out we stopped at the lab for a repeat blood test. They called us when we were halfway home to tell us it was still low (6.7) and to go back to the ER. So here we sit again, his first bag of blood is hanging and they're going to admit him overnight.

What's weird is his oxygen levels have been improving this past week despite the drop in red blood cells. Go figure.

So just a lot on my plate - appointment tomorrow with the mortuary team at the cemetery, carpets cleaned today, made hotel reservations for my sister, still have to finish the obituary, find the pink slip to the car, etc etc etc.

Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2867395
10/05/19 08:52 AM
10/05/19 08:52 AM
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 150
Australia
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devvo Offline
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You're doing it hard at the moment kml. The universe must be stacking up the good bits for you, just waiting to send them at the best possible time. That, or you have been incredibly unlucky with how this is all panning out.

Let's hope things start turning the corner.


Me:55 H:55
S:22 S:20
M:24 T:26
BD:Aug 15
D:Sep 17
Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2867399
10/05/19 01:16 PM
10/05/19 01:16 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,707
Canada
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AndrewP Offline
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Big hugs (((kml)))

You are one heck of a lady. A true force of nature.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2867410
10/05/19 03:13 PM
10/05/19 03:13 PM
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,204
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So much to deal with KML. frown Andrew is right... you are a force!! Hope CMM feels better soon and your TODO list gets done in record time. (((HUGS)))


Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
SD19
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018

Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2867504
10/07/19 12:31 PM
10/07/19 12:31 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 14,939
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kml Offline OP
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CMM got admitted overnight on Friday and transfused another 3 units (for a total of five units in 48 hours). They did an upper GI endoscopy and did find some small ulcers but it's not clear if they were enough to cause this much blood loss.
Repeat blood count today, if he's still leaking like a sieve he may need a capsule camera down his small intestine to look for a bleeding blood vessel.
Meanwhile Mom's funeral is Friday and I still have a lot to do to prepare for that.
It's just lot.

Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2867507
10/07/19 01:11 PM
10/07/19 01:11 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
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kml Offline OP
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It's just a lot

Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2867515
10/07/19 01:42 PM
10/07/19 01:42 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,077
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Dawn70 Offline
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(((((kml)))))

Sending thoughts, prayers, and positive vibes your way!


Me 49, XH 51
3 adult daughters from his first marriage
3 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
My 1st marriage, his 2nd
BD 9/29/2014
H moved out 10/6/2014
H filed D 11/4/2014
D final 12/17/2014
Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: Dawn70] #2867599
10/07/19 08:06 PM
10/07/19 08:06 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 26,481
Southern Maryland
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Sending thoughts and prayers your way. You got a lot on your plate right now and I hope that things will settle down for you very soon.

Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2867836
10/09/19 11:49 PM
10/09/19 11:49 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 14,939
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kml Offline OP
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Well CMMs hemoglobin was stable on his Monday draw so maybe he will stop leaking like a sieve.

Working my way through paperwork as executor of my mom's estate - which is super simple but still requires a lot of paperwork. This whole thing does leave me with some useful advice for others (note that my mom did most of these things right):
Make sure you have listed your beneficiaries properly on your retirement savings accounts. Don't be that divorced person who never took their spouse off. Putting your kids or other heirs on there simplifies matters greatly.

Make sure you have a proper will and it and all your important papers are in a readily accessible file so your heirs don't have to search for them.

Mom added a typed note with her will that specified who got what in terms of certain small items of sentimental value but the best thing about it was the love she expressed to her family in the note - very comforting.

You might think that owning your cemetery plot simplifies things - and it does, in a way - but one caveat here. My mom bought the plot next to my father's in 1969, when he died. It was just an ordinary cemetery at the time, but now is smack dab in the middle of the homes of the rich and famous. While it's great that we have the plot paid for - they're worth $25k and up now - it has also resulted in higher than normal burial costs. That's ok for us, because she had money enough to pay for everything, but it's kind of an unintended consequence. For example - the mortuary in Oregon where she died, charged about $5k for embalming, coffin (which had to be a $2500 one for air transport) and flying her home. But the fancy schmancy cemetery is charging $11k for interment, gravestone (about $2k) and receiving charges. Probably would have been half as much at a less fancy location. Like I said, not a problem for us as there was plenty of money in her accounts to cover this but something to think about in your own planning. (I personally will plan to be cremated - much simpler and less expensive.)

Although this wouldn't be for every family, my mom put me on her bank accounts which has simplified things greatly in terms of paying for burial costs and will simplify paying out some of the inheritance. Note this is dangerous in families where there might be strife or unreliable heirs who could pilfer the money, but it was the right choice in my family and made things simpler.

Also - if you have a ton of crap, go through it! When my mom moved in with me several years ago she got rid of a lot of the stuff she had in her home, and I'm thankful I don't have some huge accumulation of junk to sort through.

Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2867974
10/11/19 06:11 AM
10/11/19 06:11 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,868
Massachusetts
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{{{{{{{kml}}}}}}}
it is a lot. glad CMM is stabilizing.

yeah, I've got 75 years of junk to go through here. not looking forward to that.

God Bless you honey, you've got a lot on your plate. Sending hugs xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16


“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Rumi
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