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Re: I Saw It on Mulberry Street [Re: AndrewP] #2868336
10/15/19 05:13 PM
10/15/19 05:13 PM
Joined: Mar 2016
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doodler Offline
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Originally Posted by AndrewP
Oh - and Taco Cat spelled backwards is Taco Cat.


I spent countless hours using the scientific method to confirm that Taco Cat is the same spelled backward and forward. I used my crayons to write it down 10,000 times forward in red and backward in green, side-by-side. They compared perfectly 9,999 times. The one time it didn't compare was when I broke my red crayon.

Anyway, I didn't really think that the Taco Lady's name is Taco Cat. I think Andrew was using misdirection to try to dissuade me from guessing the Taco Lady's name. However, after my experiment, I finally figured out the name of Andrew's Taco Lady friend. Her name is Pali N Drome.

I'm glad that's finally over and done.

Re: I Saw It on Mulberry Street [Re: AndrewP] #2868424
10/16/19 12:44 PM
10/16/19 12:44 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,762
Canada
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AndrewP Offline OP
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I'm glad for you doodler. Now we can move on to more important matters.

Suzanne Somers is 73???? I had a crush on her back in the day. Mind you, she still looks pretty good. Undoubtedly with the assistance of professionals. But good on her. It was perhaps her early work with the thighmaster that helped. I'd try it myself but at my age and level of body hair, there would undoubtedly be something embarrassing resulting.

Happy Wednesday all from rainy Upper Lower Middle Kanukistan. Fortunately DnJ is sacrificing himself and taking all the snow in Canada right now. So I get rain. A lovely thunderstorm earlier and some heavy rain beating against the windows. Perfect cuddle up weather. Miss that. B was never around on the weekends and during the week would get up and sit downstairs with the cats drinking her coffee by 4:00. So ... it's been a long time since I had that.

It's been confirmed that I get my new car - a Toyota C-HR on Saturday afternoon. S25 is going to drive me over although it's tight on time for him to get to his shift at the pub. I reached out to my niece (CL) about my old Corolla and she seems very keen on it still. Decision subject to approval by her D18 who will be driving the car. They may take possession of it on Monday which would be good. There are some logistics issues that need to be dealt with but she does know where I live wink I still think that she had had a vision of the future that involved me following her split but that is in the past. It's good that nothing much really changed with how we deal with each other. I still admire her as a competent and somewhat sassy lady and respect her quite a bit.

I've not heard anything from S25's mother following my note which was attached to her support payment. The only mechanism I have open for communication. No response was expected. I do presume she read it. I don't know what if anything she'll do either but "something" would be good.

I had to enforce a boundary with SIL1 yesterday as she has continued to remind me that I need to give S25 an ultimatum, threaten him with tossing him out, what she calls "tough love". S and I had a conversation about this sort of thing how people who have no kids or no experience like ours believe that they have all the answers. I told her "I appreciate your good intentions. But you aren't living this. I'm doing the best I can."

My barber used to sit on the local police services board and is a volunteer fire-fighter. He's told me stories of kids who "can't abide the rules at home" who go homeless and end up in unsafe life-styles. Others including B and S have also confirmed that this is indeed a trend. The best I can do is to model a good(ish) lifestyle for him, make sure that he knows that he is safe and loved and to not enable him in poor choices. I've not given him any money in a loong time, he has to earn for what he spends.

I may have stuck my foot in it with D27. We were chatting via messenger yesterday and she mentioned that she had dinner with a new friend on Sunday for "friendsgiving" and hung out and was hanging out with him again. She's had male friends before, usually mutual friends of her and her H. I only cautioned her to be careful with new friends and that even if they seemed safe, that that was exactly what her mother had said when she first started seeing OM. It's a slippery slope I said. No response and she's now blocked her location on the location sharing app we use. I felt that it needed to be said. Her H has been at sea now for 7 months and isn't due home for at least a few more. She's an attractive woman living in a strange city without a friend / support circle around her.

I'm sure she'll get over it. I'm going to drop the matter and continue on as normal talking about food, weather and cats. But the point has been made. It does raise the difficult question on how do we as parents deal with the possibility that our kids make the same choices that our former spouses did. I honestly don't know the answer to that one other than that we continue to love them. D27 is also 27, and enough of a grown up I hope to make appropriate choices. She did get married at 19 though to her first and only boyfriend who she met online so she doesn't have a lot of real life experience. D27 is also very aware of the impact of her mother's infidelity on me and I think is still angry with her mother about it. On the other hand, her mother had the same opinion of her own father's infidelity. Her own mother suffered through it quite badly although they stayed married to the end.

Not heard anything from S in a couple of days which is highly unusual. We only communicate via Messenger. I'd debated giving her my cell # for texting / calling but don't want to be too intrusive. She does know where I live and we have a variety of mutual friends in case her other method of talking to me is out of service for whatever reason. We are supposed to get together today so she can show me the baby pictures of her grandson. And also perhaps have a smooch. If I don't hear from her by after lunch I'll send a message again checking to see if our date is on. She hasn't picked up the last one I sent yesterday morning as of yet but she seems to alternate between spending a lot of time online and none. It was only tentative anyway as is our possible going out to see the fall colours and a hike in my new car on Sunday afternoon.

I did do some more creeping on her history as visible in social media. I'm confused. I've been able to identify that she was with her H as late as this past February. But I do know that a year or two ago that she was living in an apartment and not married as a mutual friend had mentioned borrowing some restaurant equipment from her that was stored there. I do know that she and her H had at least one serious split during their I think 7 year marriage. The reality is that the timelines don't matter a "lot". What matters is if people have moved on and healed themselves. She certainly shows that much much better than B did.

To get all paranoid, if she does back off, that's fine too. 3 dates does not a R make.

Well - payday here. Time to pay a couple of bills and do the first of my end of year charitable donations. The Red Cross has a matching program that I wait for so they get their money today. I'm adding on the local food bank and a Youth Group to my list this year as well but do need to watch the over-all budget. I do have an ex-wife and son to support wink

Have a great day all.

Last edited by job; 10/18/19 12:12 AM. Reason: edited for content sensitivity

On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: I Saw It on Mulberry Street [Re: AndrewP] #2868504
10/16/19 10:05 PM
10/16/19 10:05 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,031
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kml Offline
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You did the right thing by cautioning your daughter. At 27 she probably thinks she knows it all and that you're an old fuddy duddy, but it was definitely my experience at that age that a guy I thought was just a "friend" and grad school study buddy (he was married) had a completely different idea of our friendship that he revealed to me when he came over to study at my house!

Of course, if she married her first boyfriend at age 19, it's possible that this marriage might not last - people grow and change an awful lot during that time, and often not together - but if so, you want to convince her to be honest and up front.

Re: I Saw It on Mulberry Street [Re: AndrewP] #2868654
10/17/19 07:40 PM
10/17/19 07:40 PM
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Deeka Offline
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AndrewP


I agree with the last sentence of all your posts.


But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells

Re: I Saw It on Mulberry Street [Re: AndrewP] #2868671
10/17/19 09:15 PM
10/17/19 09:15 PM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 770
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exquisitetobe Offline
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Everyone has a story and everyone has his own version of the same story.

That is life. We are all different and must respect each individuality.

Andrew, you are a gentleman and you deserve a person who treats you with kindness.

((( Andrew )))

Re: I Saw It on Mulberry Street [Re: Deeka] #2868710
10/18/19 02:25 AM
10/18/19 02:25 AM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,603
Midwest
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DonH Offline
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Originally Posted by Deeka
AndrewP
I agree with the last sentence of all your posts.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells


This is odd... I swear there was a much longer and more detailed post this AM. Now I dont see it nor any edit note. Where did it go? And why no electronic trail Showing it was edited or deleted and replaced?


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Re: I Saw It on Mulberry Street [Re: DonH] #2868716
10/18/19 03:46 AM
10/18/19 03:46 AM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 26,573
Southern Maryland
job Offline

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job  Offline

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Don,

The posting that you now see was the third posting of the day. There was no need for an edit on this particular one.

However, the earlier postings were removed for reasons that only the two posters are aware of. When moderators and administrators determine that postings are to be removed, i.e., it could be for any number of reasons, we do not go into detail as to why the postings were removed. This also applies to when a poster is put on moderation and/or banned from the Board. We do not share that info with the world...only the posters are told why if they should notify us and ask.

Last edited by job; 10/18/19 04:14 AM. Reason: Added additional info
Re: I Saw It on Mulberry Street [Re: AndrewP] #2868820
10/18/19 10:12 PM
10/18/19 10:12 PM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 770
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exquisitetobe Offline
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Job,
Thank you for looking out for the best interest of us all! ♡♡♡

Re: I Saw It on Mulberry Street [Re: AndrewP] #2868821
10/18/19 10:14 PM
10/18/19 10:14 PM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 770
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exquisitetobe Offline
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exquisitetobe  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 770
♡♡♡ those were three hearts . Lol
I could not edit.

Re: I Saw It on Mulberry Street [Re: exquisitetobe] #2868851
10/19/19 02:17 PM
10/19/19 02:17 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,762
Canada
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AndrewP Offline OP
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AndrewP  Offline OP
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Originally Posted by exquisitetobe
Andrew, you are a gentleman and you deserve a person who treats you with kindness.

((( Andrew )))
Awwe shucks (((exquisistetobe))) - I've learned over the last few years that that person can be myself.

What a second part of the week. A lot of challenges both personal and professional. I'm working my way through them. Some of them are more challenging than others.

I did both laugh and shake my head at work at my colleague who does - more or less - the same job as me. He's been anticipating a restructuring for a while and there's not a lot of what he would normally do coming down the pipe. I was rather shocked Friday when he rather openly in an open office commented that he had spent his morning working on issues around his house move. He's downsizing from a large house in the suburbs to a 2 bedroom condo in the city. He just signed a 25 year mortgage for I believe close to a million dollars. He's 61 and his wife is 66. Jointly they make quite a bit more than I do on my own and here I'm worried about being able to afford cat food and car payments. crazy

He was a bit surprised that I was so busy working through freight bill reconciliations and am seemingly now in charge of consolidating the budget numbers for one third of the company. Just going to show that I do truly have no clue what my job description is. But more and more I do think that my position is secure for as long as I want it.

I had lunch with one of my best friends on Friday as well and he's doing well. He was struggling for a while with work and personal issues as well and has come to a place I think where he's being positive. He mentioned to me that I am one of the few friends he has with whom he can be completely honest. He also has a tendency to send me pictures of curvy women in poorly fitting sari. I warned S about that part. It may (or may not) keep her from wanting to see my phone.

------------

My date on Wednesday with S was lovely. In my ever so subtle way, I asked about her timelines with her most recent marriage by asking how long she'd been in her current apartment. She knew exactly where I was going - didn't seem too annoyed - as if it was a reasonable and expected thing for me to be curious about. She was maybe happy to get that conversation out of the way. Married in 2012. Split in 2013. Attempted a reconciliation late last year that never got much farther than dating which was called off when she realized that the original issues hadn't changed.

We had a nice dinner as well. I do need to I think start watching the budget a bit more because to go guaranteed gluten free we do seem to tend to go up towards the higher end of the prices. We do now though have at least 3 local restaurants where there are a number of options available for her which is good.

After dinner I was "essentially" propositioned. The opportunity wasn't presently available given kids etc and I suggested that we wait for the "right" time and place. Not a no. But also not necessarily a yes. This is following a more or less standard timeline. Date 1 - chatting and hugs. Date 2 - quick kiss (and not asking her to move in). Date 3 - smoochin. Date 4 - negotiations. (took a while to figure out how to phrase that delicately).

I'm still not all in as far as where I want this to go. After badly abusing Google Translate it came out with "quod carnes fortis, spiritus infirma". We are planning on spending much of the day together tomorrow to cruise around in my new car, looking at the fall colours, go for a wander in the woods and have an early dinner at a nice restaurant I know. S said that she'll pack a picnic lunch. I did tell her (and S25) that I would be doing a Sunday supper. I'm planning a pork loin roast. They were on sale last week and hopefully still are. I can put it in the slow cooker in the morning and then do the veg etc quickly when I get home.

If things do go well going forward I did find a lovely isolated inn by a waterfall about an hour away. I don't believe that it's run by vampires but at this time of the year you can never be sure. I believe the owner is a Dr. Furter(?)

The main thing that I am worried about, like with B, is how much she is interested in me or in what practical things I bring to the table. I know some of her "flaws". She has some health issues (who doesn't at our age). She says that she has been diagnosed with ADD and is on medication. Her three youngest kids all have some combination of learning / behavioral challenges - again - all officially diagnosed and managed. It's good that she's so open about this just like I am about the fact that I have high blood pressure and use a CPAP. I don't know - is the key to dating as a mature person to compare your meds and see if there are conflicting adverse reactions? laugh

----------------------

As alluded to, today I get my new car. A 2019 Toyota C-HR. My old Corolla Rocinante has given me good service through many years and an astounding number of live changes. I bought her when D27 - then D18 insisted on going on the bus by herself to meet a young man who she had met on the internet. My prior car had been totaled at this time so I needed a new one. Then I was happily married with one daughter in University and a son at home. A responsible family sedan capable of pulling my small sailboat was called for. My wife wanted it to be red, so red it was. It is now almost 550,000 km later. Far away in both time and space.

CL seemed quite keen on buying from me for the asking price and will be hopefully checking it out on Monday. I'll need to empty it out and put the snow tires on it later today.

--------------

I was sad this morning looking out my kitchen window and seeing my next door neighbour's now former partner carrying his stuff out of the house to his truck. I am sure he was no treat to live with given his anger issues but do know nothing about what was the final cause for the split. They were together for I think close to 10 years. Back 5 years ago I would have placed a lot of money on them being more likely to split than I was. Again, just goes to show that you can't take anything for granted. Watching him take one random small box etc out at a time, I expect that the process isn't organized or easy. They recently had their wood delivered for the winter. Given that I think that I will be unsupervised next weekend as it's S' custody weekend for her S12, I may nudge S25 that we should offer to go over and put it away.

---------------

In other sad news, I saw an official announcement from my son-in-law's ship currently in the Arabian Sea. They're staying there longer with no known date when they'll reach home port and D27. This is crappy news. I'm not really surprised as I saw an announcement a while ago that their replacement ship was delayed in port with uncompleted necessary repairs. I'm going to put together another care package and mail it off to him. It's got to be especially tough on D27 who is currently not talking to me. She does have her own care package en-route and I am intending on following up on it in a gentle fashion. It's her right to not talk to me. It's very tough being a Dad at a distance. All you have are blunt instruments and they don't always work all that well.

---------------------

Well - I've written as usual until the tea pot is empty. I have a "very" busy day ahead of me as I need to get my usual whole weekend of chores plus done today so as to be able to enjoy tomorrow with S.

Until later my friends.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

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