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Traveler #2866712 09/28/19 10:50 PM
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kas99 Offline OP
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Hrm, that doesn't even sound like what's happening now? You two communicated about colleges, and you two seem to rely on your children as an e-mail substitute. (I don't have much experience with this--I told my kids early on if their Mom has something to say, she has my phone and e-mail info.)


He played nice for 2 weeks and he's been back to radio silence for the past 2 months. WAH is my kryptonite and he hates me so yes we've allowed our kids to coordinate the move. This will end next Saturday once I'm out of here.

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D14 is your daughter even if you give up physical custody, just as D17 is his daughter. That implies legal limits to what he or you can do without the others' consent. Normal items co-parents discuss include travel, grades, religion, health, friends, extra-curriculars, and discipline. Also, you or he may go on trips or have work schedules where what's best for the child is staying at the other home (even while the devil on the other shoulder may want to 'stick it to them' by making them pay for a babysitter.) You or he may be better at some parenting issues (e.g., homework or menstrual cycles), or may need to backup each other and work together on other issues to achieve what's best for your kid.


We can't co-parent which is why we parallel parent. We each parent our own way on our own time unless it's a true emergency. No communication necessary. I'm home by 5:08. Everyday. I buy groceries on the weekend and run errands on my lunch break. I'm broke so I don't go anywhere. If D14 needs to stay with me because he has to work late she will text me and I'll go get her. Anytime.

DejaVu6 #2866713 09/28/19 11:14 PM
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kas99 Offline OP
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My advice....stop setting yourself up for disappointment and only communicate with him about the kids.


He's ignores texts about the kids too. He even ignores their texts too (sometimes). Can't tell you how many times I've told them "ask your dad" and they say "he isn't answering". One time I said "I'm at work, call him, he has that information and it would be faster that way". I got "he isn't fast either, told me he'd call me later". So I dropped everything (they really did need this asap) and handled it.

WAH has become a work-a-holic, travels almost every week, got a 2nd job, I'm getting past due notices on his bills, and he's got 3 weeks to find a place to live.

At the moment I'm the only stability the kids have.

Last edited by kas99; 09/28/19 11:22 PM.
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At the moment I'm the only stability the kids have.


Well there you go you have your mission and purpose smile


1st BD December 26, 2008
PA admitted to by XW December 29, 2008

2nd BD May 23, 2019
Daughter confirms EA
Divorce Finalized July 18, 2019
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kas99 Offline OP
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Originally Posted by rooskers
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At the moment I'm the only stability the kids have.


Well there you go you have your mission and purpose smile


Thank you. Today is rough. I’m surrounded by boxes, D17s friends bailed on her, and the sad thoughts are chasing me.

I keep up with your story because we both have kids struggling with being left behind. Your story haunts me.

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Last edited by job; 09/29/19 06:39 PM. Reason: added link to new thread

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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