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So, you felt your cheating partner was done unless you agree to her terms--an open relationship where she dates whomever she likes, and maybe you compare favorably and win her back?

It sounds like a great arrangement for her and a miserable one for you.

Unless, I mean, you've been dating up a storm and enjoying the single life as well!

Last edited by CWarrior; 09/20/19 07:02 PM.
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Originally Posted by CWarrior
So, you felt your cheating partner was done unless you agree to her terms--an open relationship where she dates whomever she likes, and maybe you compare favorably and win her back?

It sounds like a great arrangement for her and a miserable one for you.

Unless, I mean, you've been dating up a storm and enjoying the single life as well!

I have not been dating, and yes, I understand now that it was a mistake. I was just too fearful of losing her when I made that decision.

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DB,

9 times out of 10 when you fear losing something you will lose it. You can’t appease and nice her back.

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Thanks for the response AnotherStander.

You said, "When you tell a wayward what to do then what is their response? They rebel against you and do it anyway." Are we 100% sure she's wayward instead of a MLCer? Is it possible that she's just a walk-away spouse? Does it make a difference?

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Originally Posted by LH19
D,

I am still stuck on the dating without any physical stuff. WTF does that mean?

No I adore yous!

For the first text: I am sorry I already have plans.

As for the original agreement: w I’ve thought about it and this isn’t working for me. I’m not interested in being in an open marriage.

As for the fight on Sunday. What part of no relationship talks do you not understand?

Thanks LH19, that's very helpful.

I suppose that dating without any physical stuff just means no sex.

And yes, I know I screwed up with the relationship talk. I'm still learning, I guess.

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Isn’t dating without physical stuff a friendship?

I get it that you’re still learning but you have to try to minimize your mistakes. Do not let your w call all the shots. That will make you look weak. I think you have a chance if you start to show strength.

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Originally Posted by LH19
Isn’t dating without physical stuff a friendship?

Hi LH19,

If dating without physical stuff is just a friendship, then is she NOT involved in an EA? Is it just a friendship, and therefore she's not a wayward?

Last edited by Dbx80; 09/20/19 07:47 PM.
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Dating with (an initial) "physical" limit can be very heated imho. I'll cop to being an OM in that situation before. I tutored her in Spanish--I covered the body parts one by one, making good use of a solitary hot tub.

Whatever the current boundaries actually are, it sounds like this isn't working for you.

Last edited by CWarrior; 09/20/19 08:00 PM.
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In response to her request for a dinner together, what if I say something like, "If you’re still talking to that other guy, I don’t think it’s a good idea." Thoughts?

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Originally Posted by Dbx80
In response to her request for a dinner together, what if I say something like, "If you’re still talking to that other guy, I don’t think it’s a good idea." Thoughts?

Sounds really weak.

To elaborate, it's very passive compared to the prior suggestions:

Originally Posted by "AnotherStander"
You are actively engaging in an affair and I feel I need time and space from you right now to consider my options moving forward.


Originally Posted by "CWarrior"
No. I adore you, I still can picture a better us, but I won't do an open relationship anymore.


Originally Posted by "LHS"
I am sorry I already have plans. I’ve thought about it and this isn’t working for me. I’m not interested in being in an open marriage.

Last edited by CWarrior; 09/20/19 10:20 PM.
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