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A Message from Michele
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Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2865365
09/15/19 01:37 PM
09/15/19 01:37 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,696
Southern Maryland
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kml,

Thinking of you and your family. I pray that he passed quickly and peacefully.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2865368
09/15/19 01:58 PM
09/15/19 01:58 PM
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Dawn70 Offline
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Prayers for all of you!


Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)
Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2865376
09/15/19 05:17 PM
09/15/19 05:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 16,353
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kml Offline OP
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Apparently he's more comfortable without the breathing tube but hasn't passed yet. I can't imagine the stress.

Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2865382
09/15/19 06:40 PM
09/15/19 06:40 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,430
Canada
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AndrewP Offline
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Canada
I know that I find the most inappropriate things funny - but it does sound like a scene out of The Holy Grail - hope you're amused and not offended.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: AndrewP] #2865388
09/15/19 07:43 PM
09/15/19 07:43 PM
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Posts: 27,696
Southern Maryland
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kml,

Yes, I can imagine the stress. The doctor told my family that if we opted to shut down all machines and take the breathing tube out, my father would pass within minutes. That didn't happen. He gasped for air for over an hour and it was horrible to watch this take place. My father fought like h@ll to live, but eventually his lung function couldn't be maintained and he finally passed.

I don't envy anyone that has to make the decision to end life support for a loved one. In some cases, it's not an easy thing to watch.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2865390
09/15/19 07:58 PM
09/15/19 07:58 PM
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Posts: 16,353
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kml Offline OP
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Luckily he seems peaceful and comfortable I'm told.

And yes, Andrew, I know the scene you mentioned wink

I was certainly hoping for a quicker and less ambivalent ending. I'm praying he doesn't end up in a chronic vegetative state ( unlikely, as he has spinal abcesses all the way down his spine as well as multiple strokes and likely to have more.

Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2865392
09/15/19 08:11 PM
09/15/19 08:11 PM
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kml Offline OP
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This all has me thinking a bit about loneliness, and whether introverts or extroverts cope better with such losses as divorce or death of a spouse.

My sister is very extroverted and has a large circle of friends. On the one hand, I imagine those friendships will sustain her. On the other hand, the loneliness of losing a spouse must be doubly hard for an extrovert. For me, as an introvert (although a pretty outgoing one) time alone is comfortable and a time to recharge. For an extrovert like her, the alone time is excruciating. Thank goodness she has one daughter still living at home and another one who plans to move back in.

Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2865399
09/15/19 11:16 PM
09/15/19 11:16 PM
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kml Offline OP
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Well, he just passed. My brother said it was very peaceful and calm, thank heaven. Unbelievable to think it was just 14 days ago that he started to feel sick. Boy, life can turn on a dime.

Don't waste too much time on the exes. Life is meant to be LIVED.

Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2865401
09/15/19 11:37 PM
09/15/19 11:37 PM
Joined: Aug 2015
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pinn Offline
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Originally Posted by kml

Don't waste too much time on the exes. Life is meant to be LIVED.



I'm so sorry KML. That was incredibly quick.

Your last quote is so very true.

Re: Gray Divorce Fallout [Re: kml] #2865415
09/16/19 01:02 AM
09/16/19 01:02 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 3,898
Massachusetts
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Massachusetts
I'm so sorry Ellie. We just never know how much time we have. It's important not to waste what we're given and to be grateful. Said more for me than you.

Regarding extrovert vs introvert. I dunno ... I think introverts have a harder time letting people in so when the person they trust most in the world dies or leaves, it's pretty devastating.

That's just my thought though.

Hugs to you and yours xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S 15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16
When God gives you a new beginning don't repeat the same old mistakes. It's 2020, anything could happen; eat dessert first!!!!
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