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26 years of marriage

Husband has chronic Sarcoidosis which is made worse by his smoking when he's with the OW who is a co-worker
The affair is a repeat she's using my husband for a replacement after her divorce

Husband has other medical decisions from the Chronic Sarcoidosis including Total Loss of the Sense of Smell, Diabetes, High Blood Pressure, Fatty Liver some Blood in the Urine which the doctors are trying to identify were it's coming from & ED problems,

He's still in the home
The drinking & affair activities are negatively affecting the home finances
The doctors have told him that they want him to stop drinking entirely, he's taking both Chantix & Nicotine mini Lozenges to get him to quit smoking but when he's with her all that is out the window but he's able to not smoke in our home since I do not smoke but vape

As I'm typing this I ran away from home to visit my son who lives in Texas without saying anything to him about my moving up the planned vacation which was supposed to be in October
I have not called the house or the cell but have sent 2 emails about household bills not mentioning anything about me not being home...

He's not called or sent an email reply in his anger but I did see that he's put one of the bills onto the bank's billpay system
What I did find interesting is that 4am when my son called my googlevoice number which rings both the house & my cellphone he picked up the phone which means that Husband was upstairs rather than down in the "dungeon" where he has been brooding for the past years during this MLC
I also suspect that he's been home rather than drinking at HomeWreckers house this past week because he had no money to buy drinks but we are heading into payday so my daughter will be going to the house to check on the FurBabies food, water & mail

I'm planning to stay visiting my son for another week then head home back to CT

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Welcome to this board.

The first thing you should do is be sure to read the Divorce Remedy book by MWD,
Divorce Busting is also an excellent book.
http://www.mcssl.com/store/mwdtc2014/
http://divorcebusting.com/sample_book_chapters.htm

Michele's articles
http://www.divorcebusting.com/articles.htm

Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.

It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.

Sorry you are here but you will meet some wonderful people here and get some great advice.

You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support)

I have read a good deal of books on the subject and can give you some suggestions when you are ready.

Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.

I will give you a bunch of homework assignments to read.

This POST is under reconstruction and we will be working on this as time goes by, this is the most current version.

I would start with the going dark link.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=50956#Post50956

Abbreviations
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2553153#Post2553153

Detachment thread
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2537289#Post2537289

Resources thread(last post only)
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2592296#Post2592296

Things you should know as the LBS
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2701017#Post2701017

Stages of the LBS
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1964990&page=1

Validation
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=191764#Post191764

Doormat Tactics
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1942444#Post1942444

Standing vs leaving
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1966340&page=1

Pursuit and Distance
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2483574#Post2483574

Musings from AmyC
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2253741#Post2253741

MLC Signs
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2177869#Post2177869

The Final Stages Withdrawal to Acceptance
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2074403&page=1

WAS showing you positive signs? WAIT - READ THIS!
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2772942#Post2772942

Now you have all the tools to read. Let us know how your doing and if you have any questions.

I suggest that you read the entire thread in the resources.
You can also pick out some people and read their whole story.

Depression is the key to the whole thing and it is always present!

Believe none of what he/she says and 50% of what he/she does.

I would not ask him/her anything unless you can have no expectations.
Sometimes asking them questions will be thought of as pressure.
You do not want to do anything that can be thought of by your H/W as controlling or pressure.

Lets not worry about him/her. Lets work on you!
Start your homework assignments.
Something to DO while you are on moderation.
GAL.
Eat, sleep, exercise and take a deep breath.
In general take care of your self first.

Detach the single most important thing to DO.

Your H/W has given you a gift
THE GIFT OF TIME
use it wisely

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon


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alanon may be helpful for you

When they are alcoholics, it is a difficult road and with no intention to stop drinking
it is a no win situation for the spouse--

Alanon is similar to DB

Focus on yourself
detach
create a new and better life for you-


married 14 years
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Originally Posted by peacetoday
alanon may be helpful for you

When they are alcoholics, it is a difficult road and with no intention to stop drinking
it is a no win situation for the spouse--

Alanon is similar to DB

Focus on yourself
detach
create a new and better life for you-


I've actually put that on my list of - To Dos with the additional note to go to the meeting at the southern part of the state which is located at the VA Hospital there since he's a veteran which has it's own set of problems & the people attending would also be dealing with those issues & may be able to recommend additional resources available to veterans & their family members

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great

alanon is a wonderful program
hope you find some support and guidance


married 14 years
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Originally Posted by Cadet

Welcome to this board.

Thank you for ALL these links & the Welcome

The first thing you should do is be sure to read the Divorce Remedy book by MWD,
Divorce Busting is also an excellent book.
http://www.mcssl.com/store/mwdtc2014/
http://divorcebusting.com/sample_book_chapters.htm

I'm trying to find my copies of the book & the cassette tapes I purchased about 15 years ago when my husband went "Prodigal" & left to his mother's house back in 2002 for 6 years of in & out of the house during his first medical/midlife crisis...

This time around is different in that his stepfather has told my husband that he can NOT run back to their house because his step brother is living on the 3rd floor in Hubby's old bedroom & his older brother has moved away from his family to the spare bedroom so he needs to figure this out either at home or find somewhere else to stay

My mother in law is physically not doing well & her meddling is now limited so Hubby is not getting the same support that he got from her in the past, she is aware of the situation going on with his cheating & getting drunk with the co-worker as well as the medical issues that are being made worse by these activities & the REALITY that SHE will NOT be able to go up to the hospital or care for Hubby has sunk in for her


Michele's articles
http://www.divorcebusting.com/articles.htm

Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.

It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.

Thankfully we have laptops & desktops are used primarily for watching tv on ...
but I have started to bring my laptop with me when I will be gone while he is home although he's been using that time to run after the OW or complain to his brother who is also in MLC & run away from home but hasn't started cheating on his wife yet...


Sorry you are here but you will meet some wonderful people here and get some great advice.

You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support)

I have read a good deal of books on the subject and can give you some suggestions when you are ready.

Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.

I will give you a bunch of homework assignments to read.

This POST is under reconstruction and we will be working on this as time goes by, this is the most current version.

I would start with the going dark link.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=50956#Post50956

With Hubby in the home this past few weeks where I left the state to go visit my son in Texas unannounced is the darkest that I've been...
Just an email to forward billing issues that were sent for him to handle then after payday last week he's not gotten anything from me at all

Hubby called me Friday because our station wagon stopped running while he was on the way to work
I'll go into detail in a later post but Thankfully my daughter reminded me that the purpose of this trip was to give him time to experience life without me & for him to face that "at almost 60, he needs to grow the F up" so don't try to rescue him from thousands of miles away


Abbreviations
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2553153#Post2553153

Detachment thread
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2537289#Post2537289

Resources thread(last post only)
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2592296#Post2592296

Things you should know as the LBS
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2701017#Post2701017

Stages of the LBS
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1964990&page=1

Validation
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=191764#Post191764

Doormat Tactics
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1942444#Post1942444

Standing vs leaving
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1966340&page=1

Pursuit and Distance
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2483574#Post2483574

Musings from AmyC
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2253741#Post2253741

MLC Signs
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2177869#Post2177869

The Final Stages Withdrawal to Acceptance
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2074403&page=1

WAS showing you positive signs? WAIT - READ THIS!
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2772942#Post2772942

Now you have all the tools to read. Let us know how your doing and if you have any questions.

I suggest that you read the entire thread in the resources.
You can also pick out some people and read their whole story.

Depression is the key to the whole thing and it is always present!

Believe none of what he/she says and 50% of what he/she does.

THIS is one crazy Roller Coaster because he'll do something that is so indicating that he's planning to be around for a while & then the next day runs off for a few drunken days with the OW

I would not ask him/her anything unless you can have no expectations.
Sometimes asking them questions will be thought of as pressure.
You do not want to do anything that can be thought of by your H/W as controlling or pressure.

I'm trying to simply find ways to work around him as much as possible... due to a car accident in 97 & a heart attack in late 17 I have some physical limitations so there are things which I used to be able to do that I'm unable to do now & have had to rely upon when he finally got around to doing things but at this point I've started paying people when possible to get some stuff done

Lets not worry about him/her. Lets work on you!
Start your homework assignments.
Something to DO while you are on moderation.
GAL.
Eat, sleep, exercise and take a deep breath.
In general take care of your self first.

Detach the single most important thing to DO.

Your H/W has given you a gift
THE GIFT OF TIME
use it wisely

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon


[b] I'm trying to find activity partners so that I can have someone safe to go out & have fun doing things with while he's in his midlife crisis
It was slightly depressing to have 2 tix for the recent Santana Doobie Brothers concert & no one to attend with me so I had to go by myself
But I am working on some "Bucket List Items" like when I get back from Texas I'm going on a Whale Watch in Massachusetts & a Murder Mystery Cruise for an afternoon

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Better to find available women friends during this time

Not sure if that is what you meant--

definitely want to work on yourself and heal a bit


married 14 years
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Originally Posted by peacetoday
Better to find available women friends during this time

Not sure if that is what you meant--

definitely want to work on yourself and heal a bit



Yes that is what I was meaning Women & Group Activities although in the past I've not had problems with having male friends as activity partners because I'm not meeting them online but rather via activities like political, community, friends or church events they know & respect that I'm not dating nor interested in leaving my husband regardless of how stupid he may be acting or not treating me right

Sadly my 2 best male friends are no longer around like they were the first time around... "My Brother by Another Mother" (a man who I met on a site similar to this) who my family knew & loved passed away a few years back & the other one has moved away so our family has lost contact with this other "Uncle"

My biggest problem with my female friends that I do have is that they are in the "Never Married Never Gonna Be Married" lifestyle so they are not helpful during this time period

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good that you are creating new activities and finding new friends

I seemed to meet a lot of women during my separation that totally understood MLC--and that so helped me

You will find support ..if you search for as well as new female friends to have fun with
good Luck


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Had a major setback
Pulled my back & have been in a semi-prisioner status with me not being able to drive

While I was on my "adventure" Hubby was going through some major problems
"Joes Wife" may have had an abortion because "Pregnancy Termination Services" is in a search
Which explains the Oct 1st purchase of Sanitary Pads, Salon Pas, BioFreeze & 2 tubes of Hemorrhoid Creme he purchased from Target while I was stranded in bumper to bumper traffic in PA & he wasn't answering the phone

Thanksgiving Hubby didn't come home from work but went instead to Joes Wife's house overnight
I had to get a ride to the bank Friday morning to get the certified checks for the car payment & partial mortgage payment so that those items were actually paid

Sunday Oct 1st was extremely upsetting & a greater distance has developed between us
He was quite angry that unlike his mother I will not allow him to tell a lie about the financial problems that we're having with his spending money on booze & Joes Wife
I was pointing out on the computer screen that he had opened the items that he spent like the 2 payday loans...
In anger Hubby open hand hit my arm & I smacked back in self defense
He rose up & pushed me backwards
In his spoiled brat 14 year old mindset he wasn't even apologetic when I repeatedly said YOU HIT ME!

I did send him downstairs to his self made dungeon
Since he wasn't going to apologize or even acknowlege that he was wrong to hit me
I turned off the computer tv set up

When we were first dating I had stated to him that there was only 1 reason that he could justifiably hit me & that was if he came home & found me in bed with 10 men...
I even reminded him of that but still no apology

Things haven't gotten better with my son visiting from Texas - will update more later son just arrived to take me & daughter out to breakfast befor he goes back to Texas later this week




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Originally Posted by MrsTinCT
Had a major setback
Pulled my back & have been in a semi-prisioner status with me not being able to drive

Still not driving with this back hip problem
Thursday I'll be going to see the orthopedic surgeon to see what he's going to suggest since the Ortho-APRN wasn't really certain what she was looking at on the MRI but said that he might suggest cortisone shots by the spine for pain relief & the hip cortisone shot has been scheduled for the following Monday
I'm looking into a new PT group since the UConn PT guy that I had for more than 6 weeks was not working out for me


While I was on my "adventure" Hubby was going through some major problems
"Joes Wife" may have had an abortion because "Pregnancy Termination Services" is in a search
Which explains the Oct 1st purchase of Sanitary Pads, Salon Pas, BioFreeze & 2 tubes of Hemorrhoid Creme he purchased from Target while I was stranded in bumper to bumper traffic in PA & he wasn't answering the phone

1-9-20 I was no longer able to deal with the emotional turmoil of knowing about the abortion & on the long drive down to West Haven VA Medical I ended up crying about her killing a baby just because she'd rather drink & was uncertain of who the father is & the miscarriage which I had after the re-connection of my tubes in 03

Thanksgiving Hubby didn't come home from work but went instead to Joes Wife's house overnight
I had to get a ride to the bank Friday morning to get the certified checks for the car payment & partial mortgage payment so that those items were actually paid

Sunday Oct 1st was extremely upsetting & a greater distance has developed between us
He was quite angry that unlike his mother I will not allow him to tell a lie about the financial problems that we're having with his spending money on booze & Joes Wife
I was pointing out on the computer screen that he had opened the items that he spent like the 2 payday loans...
In anger Hubby open hand hit my arm & I smacked back in self defense
He rose up & pushed me backwards
In his spoiled brat 14 year old mindset he wasn't even apologetic when I repeatedly said YOU HIT ME!

I did send him downstairs to his self made dungeon
Since he wasn't going to apologize or even acknowlege that he was wrong to hit me
I turned off the computer tv set up

When we were first dating I had stated to him that there was only 1 reason that he could justifiably hit me & that was if he came home & found me in bed with 10 men...
I even reminded him of that but still no apology

Things haven't gotten better with my son visiting from Texas - will update more later son just arrived to take me & daughter out to breakfast befor he goes back to Texas later this week




[b][/b]
Will update more later

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If you were here as a poster 15 years ago, do you happen to remember what your member name was?

You've got a lot going on w/your own health. Try to keep the focus on you and your health for now. The stress of your situation may be hindering your health issues.

Sounds like your situation isn't getting any better. How about sharing a bit more of your situation so that we provide support to you?


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Originally Posted by job
If you were here as a poster 15 years ago, do you happen to remember what your member name was?
I do not recall at this time

You've got a lot going on w/your own health. Try to keep the focus on you and your health for now. The stress of your situation may be hindering your health issues.

Things were definitely made worse by my health issues
By the end of March I am hoping that with the 2 deep steroid injections done at the hospital with the new physical therapy group that I've started on will have me back to pain free movement & driving again & with my freedom to come & go as I please I'll once again be able to focus upon restoring my life while he's in his agonyof mid life crisis


Sounds like your situation isn't getting any better.

At this point I'm expecting things to get worse because I've heard that when a MLCer faces the death of a close family member that they will spin out of control & Hubby's older brother is currently in a coma - in the hospital since mid December & coma after the 2nd surgery to remove a tumor on the brain stem New Years Eve

Hubby's been avoiding going down to the hospital because he's unable to deal with seeing his brother laying there not talking - this is his first time having someone that he cares about that is dying & his response is to isolate himself in his self made dungeon down in the basement or to go get drunk over at Joe's Wife's house
Hubby's in that stage where he's emotionally acting like a rebellious teenager & a young child & I am trying to be supportive by giving him his space when he's angry but also trying to give him hugs while not insisting that he talk about his feelings which I don't think that he even knows how to express

Hubby has childhood abandonment issues so I can't be entirely Dark but carefully Dim

Hubby's not had to deal with hard life issues on his own, in the past his mother always made excuses for him or bailed him out of messes - her interfering in our marriage was a huge problem in the past but not as much of a problem in the past 10 years once we purchased the house & her health issues have limited her ability to interfere & his stepfather said NO that Hubby could not move back home in May 2019 because FiL knows that Hubby is not doing right & he really didn't want Hubby there the last time but MiL made him so miserable that he relented & allowed Hubby to move back.

How about sharing a bit more of your situation so that we provide support to you?

I type slow & tend to type too much, feel that it's too much & just exit without publishing because I'm not sure that my rambling will make sense to someone coming in new to this craziness - so many family issues with my InLaws & I'm having a hard enough time trying to understand this dysfunctional family I'm not even certain how to explain it to people
I think I'd do better in chat style - Ask a question for me to answer?


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Too many deaths happening too quickly for us to properly grieve
My Dad's younger brother died suddenly of a heart attack on Super Bowl Sunday
I was devastated when I got the news but Hubby didn't know how to react since he's not been close with my UncleR

A day later Hubby took off for an overnight at Joes Wife's house - I was too busy with my mother in law & family drama as decisions were being made about my brother in laws pending death as sister in law told the family that the doctors decided that since the Rx hadn't shrunk what was left of the tumor enough they were no longer going to try to keep him alive with the respirator & make arrangements - when he got home the next night after work I gave him the bad news

Brother in law was taken off the respirator on 2-29-20 after being in a coma since the partly successful brain tumor surgery on New Years Eve
He Leapt into Heaven surrounded by family

Hubby had 3 days for bereavement & 2 vacation days to adjust to the news, the days at the hospital leading up to the pulling of the respirator - He had some rough periods where he stayed in his dungeon in the dark ...
I checked on him but didn't want to crowd him realizing that men grieve differently than women

When Hubby went back to work from his bereavement leave he was given the news that the cable company was "centralizing" his department & the choices were going to be
1) Telecommute from home
2) Move to New Hampshire just over the Mass border
3) Move to NJ
4) Try to find a position in another department
5) he didn't speak but layoffs is also a company option

That was some craziness afterwards while I tried to not argue with him about the wrong idea he had for furniture placement which would have tossed my sewing section of the craft/computer room down into the basement which I don't go in due to the smells & darkness & his refusal to get the stuff moved out into the POD so that we can set up the basement into a finished area

About a week later came the state shutdown due to CV19
He still went into work as an essential worker
Comcast had people coming into the office for about a week & 1/2 I guess when they switched up & told all of the people to find places in their homes to set up a home office area for their computers at their current work stations

That resulted in him having an attitude when he got home from that announcement, because the work that he'd been putting off for the middle room was going to have to be done now rather than in the summer which he thought that he'd have time to find someone to help him get stuff moved that he's not been doing all these years

April 20th 2020 my mother in law passed away in her sleep either late Sunday night or early Monday morning
My father in law thought she was still sleeping when he came downstairs went out to get his coffee & paper, he realized after he'd finished reading his paper that she hadn't moved her position from when he'd sat down to read his paper & coffee as was his routine...

We're of the opinion that she died of a broken heart, she was not prepared to lose my brother in law... that Saturday the 24th was his 56th birthday; my husband has an autoimmune disease called Sarcoidosis which will end his life early & my mother in law had prepared emotionally for him to pass away before 50 She & I had spoken about that a couple of times the past few months... I'm doing my best to keep Hubby healthy even if he's not doing what he should be doing food & drinkwise even though he's going against doctors orders to stop drinking... the Renal doctor even suggested that he check into the Addiction Services that the VA has to offer

My son flew up from Texas as soon as he was able to spend a few days helping out around the house & checking that we were ok... He's partly aware of what's going on with Hubby having seen this crazy behavior in the past...
He asked Hubby about coming down to Texas to see his house 3 different times & Hubby said yes all 3 times...
Son left back to Texas on the 29th & when he got off the plane in Texas the state police had him sign a paper that he would self quarantine for 14 days - his job already told him that since he was going to a "hot spot" that when he got back from his bereavement leave that he would have to check in daily with the company medical unit & if he didn't show any symptoms go to the medical office for a temp check & the written ok to go into work...

Hubby & father in law are managing to handle the losses fairly well...
Hubby has work to "go to" here at home & we drive to physical therapy for me twice a week & the laundromat but he's not expressing his emotions to me
Father in law has lost a wife previously so he's aware of the grieving processes & he's had his crying times & is keeping himself busy around the house on projects that he's put off in the past & distributing my mother in law's physical belongings to family... the stepbrothers are worried about any estate monies but Hubby isn't thinking about that nor am I expecting anything although my sister in law mentioned to me her concerns that her children wouldn't get anything which surprised me

I hate the family dramas that come when people pass away

As we head into the first Mother's Day without my mother in law, our anniversary & birthdays for both me & Joe's Wife I've noticed that Hubby is moody & may not be sleeping properly at night as he comes upstairs in the middle of the night more often

5-7/8-20 he's awaken me 3 times coming upstairs from his self-imposed dungeon 1am, 2am & 3am when I went downstairs after I saw he had turned on the lights down there to see what was going on... I didn't say anything to begin with just stood by the door way, I did ask him if he was having nightmares & that's why he's waking up but his reply was that he doesn't know WHY he's waking up cause if he did he'd fix it...

He stayed downstairs until noon with only coming up around 11am to let the dog out & give him food & then when he finally came up for the day he he stayed in the bathroom until he came out to go into the room for work - when I asked him about it since we have a physical therapy session later & normally he doesn't start work until after appointments
He was nasty towards me for questioning the change in our routine & he shut down the company chat messenger which I'm guessing was him & her chatting... He popped out of the middle room for a hot minute to mostly ignore me & pet the dog but his face looked emotionally pained

We were almost late to the physical therapy appointment because he's unable to find his wallet
He says it's in the house somewhere...

We didn't talk much during the ride to PT or Walmart Pharmacy
He stayed in the car which with the CV19 & his compromised health we've been having him do since last month even before the #WearMasks order was given by the governor

We stopped by the Mediterranean place that we saw the sign for the past couple of weeks...
It's a new place & the way it's set up I suspect they're just going to be open for lunches & early takeout dinners because there's not even a place to sit down inside only 3 picnic tables outside
The guy told us about the Special he had & since we're not familiar with that type of food & he said the meat is not too spicey we went ahead & had him fix us the Shawarma (?sp?) Special to give it a try...
Hubby had cash on him & paid for it then swung by the gas station to grab some cold sodas
We both enjoyed it & Hubby made a sandwich for seconds so the pita bread would be for tonight's dinner
I wasn't able to finish mine it was so filling - side affect of the emotional upheavals has been inability to eat very much in one sitting but I've gone to eating a portion & then finishing it off at a later time or giving it to the dog

I'm trying to figure out how to go dim while we're under these "StayAtHome state house arrest?

Healing is slow but hopefully by the end of the next 2 months I'll be able to get back to driving myself around

I've started my container garden on the back deck but am worried that the poor seedlings will not survive this arctic blast that is supposed to hit us tonight

As it gets warmer & the state starts to finally reopen the Tag Sale season should restart & I'll get the items sold from around the house that I'm no longer wanting to keep & use the funds to purchase a stone fire-pit & the tow hitch added to the back of the SUV



Joined: Jul 2019
Posts: 9
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Joined: Jul 2019
Posts: 9
The New Normal is taking some time to get used to but ever so slowly the walking on eggshells has relaxed a bit & Hubby seems to be processing his losses quietly

Our state is very slow to reopen but so far it looks like the cable company will be keeping those who are working from home at home for a while longer since it's working for now & it reduces the risks for the business of having people exposed to CV19

Our first Mother's day without my Mother in Law was rather quiet we did laundry & then went over to see my Father in Law - he asked me if I wanted to go through my MIL's closet & see if any of the clothes, shoes or purses were of interest to me & I was welcome to take them - I cleaned out her drawers for him dumping the used makeups & nail polishes into a big garbage bag along with several purses that had mold on them so he would have less stuff to go through in cleaning out of her stuff.

I do wonder if my FiL spoke to Hubby while I was upstairs because Hubby's been nicer to me - not affectionate but nicer & taking some of my needs into consideration & his angry periods aren't as frequent nor as long directed at me

My blood pressure has been elevated so I'm trying to take it easy & am ignoring a lot of stuff that will only upset me.

I'm trying to spend some time making myself feel better by reading my bible & other books with very little news from the networks & enjoying the superhero tv shows & movies when Hubby has them on.

My container garden is slow this year because of the shutdown so I only was able to get a couple of veggies - the seeds & strawberry roots that I purchased just don't seem to have survived the cold snap we had this May


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