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A Message from Michele
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Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2864505
09/07/19 11:00 AM
09/07/19 11:00 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,836
Massachusetts
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bttrfly Offline
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YES. Absolutely, esp given his history.


M 20+ T25+
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16


“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Rumi
Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2864664
09/09/19 12:11 PM
09/09/19 12:11 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,985
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TBSakaJ9 Online OP
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TBSakaJ9  Online OP
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Well I finally felt things getting real with the dr. this weekend. She met my dad and step mom on Saturday night, we all went out to dinner together with my girls. Then after dinner we took our first picture together with my girls. Then last night my mom cooked and she came over with her son. Some time during the evening her son started calling me dad and I was like whoa buddy. I reminded him who his dad was and he said you would be my third dad. I told the dr. About it and we got a chuckle out of it, then she laughed and said "I did not put him up to it". Anyway, I am still in no rush but this is getting real!

My parents liked her, my dad told me I was the luckiest mfer alive. I just laughed but other than soccer, work, gym and the dr. Everything is going really well at the moment. I will just continue to ride the wave.

My dad also sat next to the xw at my oldest soccer game on Saturday. That was the first time my parents had seen her since the D. My dad told me that the x asked if he had met the dr. Yet but outside of that they hugged, gave each other a kiss and exchanged I love yous. I thought that was odd but I did tell him to be on his best behavior.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2864669
09/09/19 12:39 PM
09/09/19 12:39 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 3,936
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Ginger1 Online
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Sounds great:) really can’t get much better than that

Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2864847
09/10/19 01:56 PM
09/10/19 01:56 PM
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TBSakaJ9 Online OP
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TBSakaJ9  Online OP
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Yeah, things are going really well and she makes things very easy. She really is a high quality person and I am a very blessed man. The longer I have been with her the more I have become attracted to how she is as a person, how she treats me, respects me, etc. I am physically attracted as well but who she is as a person is starting to take over the other.

I am not ready to get married yet but I know it is on her radar screen and she is starting to make more comments about it as the weeks progress. Me not wanting to get married yet has nothing to do with her though and it is all about me still very much enjoying my freedom and alone time the weeks I don't have my girls. She has also not yet met my mom and stepdad which probably won't happen until Christmas unless I make a special trip to see them so she can meet them.

This weekend we are going out on a double date with some friends of hers on Friday night. Then on Saturday we are going out to her Ranch with some other friends of hers as well.

I do feel that things are starting to heat up and move a little faster.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2864955
09/11/19 12:15 PM
09/11/19 12:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,658
Canada
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AndrewP Offline
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The mighty Huntress laugh

Do you know how you will approach it when she starts becoming more blunt? What are your thoughts vis-a-vis just shacking up vs marriage?


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2864961
09/11/19 12:39 PM
09/11/19 12:39 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,985
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TBSakaJ9 Online OP
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Well my dad says that I am the luckiest man alive and when she asks I would be a fool to say “no”. Truthfully she has not changed since day 1, she is as advertised. Next Friday I am going out to dinner with her mom, sister, and son then will meet her xh at her sons birthday party on Saturday. She still has not met my mom, who is the real gate keeper, so that probably won’t happen until Xmas. The point is that I have some time.

I am not opposed to getting married I just would like some more time alone, by myself, to enjoy the dating process that is all. The excitement of picking her up, not seeing her for a few days, etc. there is something to be said for that.

If she asked me today I would say no and explain my reasons but let her know that I love her, still want to date, be with her, etc. I don’t want to be with anyone else but I am also not ready. I think about my girls, them adjusting, new house, a little brother, all of what goes into blending a family and it just hasn’t been enough time yet for me. The house we live in they were both born in and we have known all of our neighbors for years. We are starting to get more entrenched in each other’s lives but we are not quite their yet.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2864964
09/11/19 01:10 PM
09/11/19 01:10 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,836
Massachusetts
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bttrfly Offline
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how long have you been dating her? I applaud you for thinking about how this would affect your daughters, and for plain old knowing you want more time as a single person.


M 20+ T25+
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16


“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Rumi
Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2864966
09/11/19 01:17 PM
09/11/19 01:17 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,985
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TBSakaJ9 Online OP
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TBSakaJ9  Online OP
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Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,985
Just about 8 months


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2864969
09/11/19 01:27 PM
09/11/19 01:27 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,836
Massachusetts
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bttrfly Offline
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Joined: Jun 2015
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Massachusetts
imho, too soon even if you were ready.


M 20+ T25+
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16


“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Rumi
Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2865013
09/11/19 06:17 PM
09/11/19 06:17 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,985
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TBSakaJ9 Online OP
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TBSakaJ9  Online OP
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Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,985
Yes, I agree. I just think she is getting more comfortable and letting her guard down more. She does make comments here and there but definitely not all the time, I also do not feel any pressure from her. It's just as you move forward in the R, especially at our age, eventually there is a decision that will be made.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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