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I feel your pain Ginger. My kids are extremely picky eaters. My D, at least, will try things but my son refuses 95% of the time. It is beyond frustrating to cook the same four meals over and over again but I refuse to make it a battle of wills. My nephew from my first marriage would regularly get into stand offs with his parents at family dinners because he only wanted noodles and butter. Lots of tears and threats and hard feelings and it didn’t change his tastes, just made the rest of us miserable. I told myself if I ever got a kid like that, I wouldn’t make it my hill to die on. Jinxed myself, I think. When my nephew was 18, he told me it wasn’t the taste that bothered him but it was more about the texture. Even at that stage, there were foods that he still would not eat because the texture made him nauseous.

Btw... I cannot believe you live somewhere that is too expensive to make ends meet with a six figure salary. Are you sure there is no way to move? You should not have to get a second job. That’s crazy.

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Originally Posted by DejaVu6
Btw... I cannot believe you live somewhere that is too expensive to make ends meet with a six figure salary. Are you sure there is no way to move? You should not have to get a second job. That’s crazy.


When I read that comment Ginger I got the same reaction that DejaVu has. I know cost of living might be higher where you are but I'm positive that if you can't make ends meet for two of you on a six figure salary PLUS CHILD SUPPORT there has to be a money management problem going on here. Too much debt or dept payments? Again, I don't know your situation but I'm nearly positive a good money manager could sit down with you and get you back on track. I mean even if you have a house payment of $2K that's still 1/4 of your income. Yes, nearly 1/3 is likely going to taxes (all inclusive) but that still should leave at least $40,000 to live on. That's still over three grand a month exclusive of taxes and housing. Many families of four are making it go on less than a six figure combined income.

It's likely not something we can flush out here online but I'd strongly suggest you look for a good financial planner or money management type person. They can often be hired for under a grand and should almost certainly be able to put you on a budget that gets you back on your feet. They can spot things you'd never think of. Of course you have to be willing to make the changes and sometimes the sacrifices - taking lunch to work rather than buying it, no Starbucks, basic cable and a lower cell phone plan, etc. Sometimes changing insurance companies for home and auto help. Getting debt free other than house and auto. Zero credit card debt should be first on the list. And that list really can be quite long. A fresh set of eyes on your budget is needed.


DonH
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Mr Money Mustache's website is great for that too. You can post a "case study" in the forums and people will have all kinds of ideas for where you can save money. It's inspiring.

Although, Don, where she lives the taxes alone on her house might be $1500-$2,000 a month. Property taxes are pretty high in that part of the country.

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This is a really frustrating topic that older generations and maybe people from other regions do not understand. Our salaries are on par with other areas yet the housing costs and taxes and overall cost of living are really high. Taxes can be on average 14 to 20 grand a year and new tax laws have made it more difficult. Starting homes with ton of necessary repairs are half a million dollars. If you can find that you are considered lucky. Most of the guys I work with (all have doctorates) live with their parents till they get married and then struggle as a couple with each person working 2 jobs.

It is a completely different lifestyle. I get gingers pain.


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It’s definitely not money management issues. My taxes are indeed astronomical , my house price for the dumpy little house I have is astronomical, and figure in house expenses, the freakin water bill alone, a mortgage which is most likely twice what it would be in the Midwest, a student loan which I needed to get my JUST 6 figure job..... and not to mention a 12k surgery I wasn’t prepared for people are ru Ning out of this area because it is ridiculous. There needs to be an at least 150k household income. It’s pretty sad. You rarely find a household with a stay at home parent u less one parent is making 200k. It’s awful. And child support? Not even &350 a month. I am the higher earner.

I am bound to this state because of my daughter and divorce agreement. I could be very prosperous in another state because the income for my profession does not vary to heavily across the country.

I am hurting and it’s not because of poor money management. Unless I lived on ramen noodles and nothing extra at all, well, maybe I would be getting by a little better.

It stinks. Another I better just do what I have to do like get a second job, because my sitch isn’t changing anytime soon.

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We cross posted juju. And I know you get it. Your area is worse than mine. And yes, I do not have a turnkey home. It needs work. Living with my parents was also never an option for me, forever. So I never got that chance to save anything. Well, I did love my ex and his dad for a year and a half and worked while going to nursing school, and even though I paid some bills there, I was able to save. That money went into our townhome which we shortsold when we got a divorce. And we bought at the height of the market (2004) and put it in the market in 2008, when everything crashed. I had money from a settlement I had from my mothers wrongful death which also went into that downpayment and was lost.

And braces are coming !!!!

Again. It all kind of stinks, but it is my situation and I have to work with it. I could cry about how unfair it is, but nothing is going to change any time soon.

So I shall work my butt off! I really hope one day it all comes back around to me.

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..... oh, and I take lunch almost every day. Usually leftovers from dinner. I make enough to take with me. I actually stopped eating breakfast, and if I do, I make something. I cut the amount of take out coffee in half ( not Starbucks, just cheap coffee) I have basic cable and will probably drop that all together. I do eat out once a week, but never expensive. I guess I am saving money I’m single because I don’t go out anymore and I would pick up every other bill at least. I don’t really vacation which stinks. I get a pedicure every 3 weeks for $26 and I stopped my nails along time ago because it isn’t in the budget. I don’t even have a gym membership now which is important to me.

I’m living house poor. I’m being smart. I love to shop, that stopped ( I am cheap though, It was never a lot)

There was an 85 year old single patient hitting on the nurses who has money. I was going to go talk to him:)

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I am truly shocked! Talk about government totally out of control! It would appear that what you pay in property tax in a month is what I pay in 6 months. I can assure you that my quality of living is not 15% of yours. I have a three bedroom, two bath, with a sun room and huge deck, approximately 2,500 sq ft home on just about an acre of property. I could never continue my "semi-retirement" paying $20,000 in property tax alone. Even lake property here rarely rises to half of that. This is truly government out of control but that's also pretty much out of your control. While I'm still sure some savings could be found, it would not be to the level to offset half of my original estimate. The unforeseen "elective" surgery, that really wasn't all that elective, clearly didn't help. Student debt might be an area to look at as it's clearly not helping you this far into your career but it's also likely at a decent rate so I get it.

You could live anywhere in my state very easily for under $5K in property tax. If not for your D decree I'd strongly suggest moving. Yes it may be hard on G for a little while but all sorts of kids do it every day and they come out the otherside just fine. But if you can't due to seeing her dad and that settlement/agreement, again, not a lot can be done.

I'd still strongly suggest you have someone look at things - another set of eyes can nearly always find something - or try the website KML suggested. It could at least soften things a little bit. Sadly, my confidence in finding enough to offset just the taxes are no longer there. I don't want to turn this into a political debate but man oh man, there is clearly something wrong when taxes get to such a level as to keep people from the pursuit of happiness. There is simply not enough government services known to man to warrant that type of a levy and twice the national average. Get out as soon as you can.

Originally Posted by Ginger1
Again. It all kind of stinks, but it is my situation and I have to work with it. I could cry about how unfair it is, but nothing is going to change any time soon.

Again, another great attitude Ginger! I'd clearly be crying about how unfair it is - because, well it is!!!!!


DonH
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Ok, well, I have cried. I’m not going to lie. But then I put my big girl panties on and then deal

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Would your ex truly object to you moving? Or do you just feel that your daughter would feel the loss of her dad, such as he is, too much?

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