Looking out for #1

[Ginger1]

I lied. He didn’t unfollow me. Made a mistake.

I shouldn’t care anyways.

[Ginger1]

Excuse my ruminating and negative thoughts. The nights get to me. I’m pretty good during the day.

2 weeks ago D’s best friend’s mom went for a breast biopsy. I’ve been friends with her likewise since the girls were in kindergarten. They are the ones who live behind me and we help each other out a lot. They are a little older than me, both 52.

This morning we took our girls for cheer pictures. I dropped off D to run to the bank and she texted me saying she was hoping I was coming because she wanted to talk to me. She told me the biopsy came back positive for breast cancer. I gave her a big hug and we shed some tears. It’s very early stages and her doctor told her she would be fine. They are hoping hormonal therapy and a lumpectomy will be enough. She’s getting al of treatment done at the hospital in which I work. She asks if she was there for anything if o could come by and visit. I said of course and any help she needs food her or the kids, never ever hesitate to ask. Her one daughter is D’s age and the other just entered high school. I can’t imagine how scary it must be for her. No family history at all.

You just never know. Another cheer coach and mother of D’s classmates I noticed has short spiky hair now. I think she went through some treatment too. It’s so scary.

I’m not longer going to complain and I’m going to just love life no matter what it throws at me. I’m going to be there for my friend and do whatever I can to help out. It takes a village and these people have been my village throughout the years.

I’m going to D’s game tonight. Tomorrow I’m going to take a hike, the weather is gorgeous.

Life is short. Don’t want to take it for granted

[DejaVu6]

It’s amazing how news like that pushes us to reassess our priorities and count our blessings. Sounds like you are getting back on track Ginger. Good for you! (((HUGS)))

[HaWho]

Ginger - regarding hobbies, have you considered using meetup? This is a fantastic, cost effective way to pursue hobbies!

I used it to join a weekend tennis group and a beach volleyball group. It was really fun! There are hiking groups, coffee meetups; all sorts of wonderful groups. I recall in my area even seeing groups like: 50+ and single hiking group. You may be able to find singles groups for your age is my point. And you can start groups as well!

The groups helped me get out of my head, meet new people and begin to rebuild my life. Ultimately I settled into playing Pickleball at a very social place nearby. You can drop in and play nearly every day! This motivates me to get my chores done early so I can go out and play!!! Hah!

There is so much life out there to live!

[Ginger1]

My daughter is getting older so now it’s much easier for me to join activities. I’m pulled in so many directions but really need a nice weekend hobby.

I did join a coed volleyball team 2 years ago. I loved it! Made some young guy friends and since it was a bar league, we would hang out after for a drink. I was coming off a really bad depression from a breakup then. It helped me out tremendously

On the 3rd night however, I jumped up for a shot, came down and heard my knee pop. Tore my all. Had 2 surgeries and a big recovery. And my ex actually took my spot over on my team. Imagine that. My mind was so focused on rehabbing my knee. I did become good friends with My PT and the Pt aide. They are now actually coworkers and we are getting together soon for a painting party. Something good and positive did come out of it

So volleyball is kind of out, I am scared. But I’m sure there are other meetups I could join. I should definitely get back into that kind of stuff. You are right, there is so much life to live . Thanks for the suggestion. I love to hike, we have many beautiful places here, but I have zero sense of direction, so I’m afraid to go alone, haha.

But maybe that’s a great fit for me!

[Westo]

I’m sure your friend will be absolutely fine.

I had a lumpectomy and am on hormone treatment for five years plus calcium. Being over fifty is by far the most factor in developing the decease.

Family history is way down the list. That’s what I was told.

The lesson I learned was.....always go for the screening when called up every three years. I very nearly didn’t go to mine.

Could have been a very different story.

[Ginger1]

Well, holy crap. Here is a messed up story.

My best friend came with me tonight to my D’s football game. A small abbreviated version of the back story...... my best friend also dated my ex. Not the friend who I dated him right after, but yes, it was 3 of us and we all had our time with my ex. I was just the idiot who married him. My BFF and I went out drinking tonight and she decided to text my ex seeing if my ex regretted leaving me. She’s pretty convinced . Of course I tried to stop this to no avail.

And guess what. He took it as her hitting on him. And he was flirting with her. He said his best years were 16+ and those were definitely his happies years. Told my friend how she was all smiley tonight and how he remembers that about her.

If my friend would do it ( which she would not) he would hook up with her on a heartbeat.

This made me realize , no he hasn’t changes and he’s still the same dog he always her. But it just hurt that he would do it all over again. And honestly, he probably would with me too, if I showed an interest. This was spurred on by my friend noticing he is not happy and he probably regrets choosing his wife over me.

But in reality, he would chose anyone showing him attention .

So clearly, he would not be faithful given the chance to be unfaithful. Still to this day. And with my best friend, again. And he clearly still isn’t happy.

Wow. Such mixed emotions. I have just about the most awful taste in men. I procreated with this guy. A beautiful amazing daughter, but still. My taste in men is awful. Just awful. He’s awful. M was pretty awful in the end. Wtf?

I need to break this cycle.

[pinn]

Dang Ginger.... don't go out drinking with that friend anymore.

[Ginger1]

I think I’m just hiding in my home from now on.

So, my ex husband would still be a cheater . I learned that. He didn’t change.

Today would have been me and M’s one year dating anniversary. I’m sad about it. I’m sad it turned out the way it did. But there is nothing I can do about that.

I’m actually really focused on getting this second job. I’m geared up about bettering my financial situation. I just have to find the right job that is the right fit. Weekend only work is a little tough to find .

I just want a clean slate too.

[DonH]

If there is anything I've learned and confirmed for myself, it's that for the most part, people don't change. They may alter but other than some life changing events they are who they are. So it does not surprise me one bit that your ex has not changed. We are who we are, we do what we do. We may change course slightly but full change is rare. Also, as lame as the statement may be, once a cheater always a cheater has some truth to it - because, well, because people don't change!