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A Message from Michele
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Re: Focusing on me (The Mikey B story Part 3) [Re: mikeyb] #2861424
08/14/19 11:02 PM
08/14/19 11:02 PM
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 124
Florida
M
mikeyb Offline OP
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mikeyb  Offline OP
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Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 124
Florida
Hey everyone!

Just wanted to stop by and provide a little post. I've been doing absolutely great the last few weeks. Having NC with the W has been a blessing haha. Next week I'll be getting my 401K loan and finding a place, as well as hiring my attorney and starting the D process. I am no longer waiting on the W to do anything, done with the back and forth games. Also, next week the wedding loan will finally be paid off which thankfully the W has been continuing to pay half of. So one less bill!

I've been having a blast playing disc golf and am starting to make it a more prominent hobby. I plan to go out a few times this weekend and play. Work has been going well, staying busy so that's a plus. Was working lots of OT for a few weeks.

Also, next month a group of friends and I are planning a weekend trip to the east coast of FL for a concert and some beach time. We're planning to get an airbnb for the weekend and just have a great time. I'm really excited for this and can't wait.

I'll be sure to keep everyone in the loop on progress as the D gets filed and me moving into my own place. Things seem to be going right on track to my plan as I wanted to move out on my own right around this time.


M(31) W(29)
Together 12yrs
Married 2yrs
ILYBNILWY/Divorce BD 11/23/18
EA Discovered 3/20/19

In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19
W Moved out 3/20/19
M Moved out 5/31/19
Re: Focusing on me (The Mikey B story Part 3) [Re: mikeyb] #2861479
08/15/19 02:55 PM
08/15/19 02:55 PM
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 124
Florida
M
mikeyb Offline OP
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mikeyb  Offline OP
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M
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 124
Florida
Not sure why my post from yesterday isn't showing up, but says that I did post hmmmm. I'll type it back up and try again tonight.

Edit: seems I needed to post this to get it to show, weird...

Last edited by mikeyb; 08/15/19 02:55 PM.

M(31) W(29)
Together 12yrs
Married 2yrs
ILYBNILWY/Divorce BD 11/23/18
EA Discovered 3/20/19

In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19
W Moved out 3/20/19
M Moved out 5/31/19
Re: Focusing on me (The Mikey B story Part 3) [Re: mikeyb] #2861491
08/15/19 03:56 PM
08/15/19 03:56 PM
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 2,062
Missouruh
O
ovrrnbw Offline
Member
ovrrnbw  Offline
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Joined: May 2018
Posts: 2,062
Missouruh
Hey Mikey,

nice to hear from you. I hope you've given yourself enough time and space to be sure of your decision. I wish the best for you though no matter what you do.


H 33
W 28
BD 3/12/18

Married 3 years
Together 7 years

Working on the R and on me - Spring 19
Re: Focusing on me (The Mikey B story Part 3) [Re: mikeyb] #2861495
08/15/19 04:07 PM
08/15/19 04:07 PM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,568
A
AnotherStander Offline
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AnotherStander  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,568
Good job on keeping the focus on you and your GAL Mikey!


Me: 58 w/ S16, D22, D25
Current R: 4 years
Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56
Re: Focusing on me (The Mikey B story Part 3) [Re: ovrrnbw] #2861711
08/17/19 03:38 AM
08/17/19 03:38 AM
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 124
Florida
M
mikeyb Offline OP
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mikeyb  Offline OP
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Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 124
Florida
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
Hey Mikey,

nice to hear from you. I hope you've given yourself enough time and space to be sure of your decision. I wish the best for you though no matter what you do.

Thanks ovrrnbw, I'm pretty much 100% on my decision. The more I've been on my own and had time for me to work through and get past all my emotions, the more I look back at her and just see her as this disgusting person for even putting me through it to begin with. She is no longer the woman I fell in love with and married, and is not someone I want involved in my life when I know I deserve better than that. It honestly sickens me to think that right up until BD I was trying to have a child with her.

Yes, I've had my faults but I am man enough to admit to them, and own them from day one and have been doing great at working on them. Mostly financial, in which I have set myself a strict timeline and budget and am moving along nicely right on track. And for that, I am extremely proud of myself. My life has mostly changed for the better since BD and it just took me some time to realize it.


M(31) W(29)
Together 12yrs
Married 2yrs
ILYBNILWY/Divorce BD 11/23/18
EA Discovered 3/20/19

In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19
W Moved out 3/20/19
M Moved out 5/31/19
Re: Focusing on me (The Mikey B story Part 3) [Re: mikeyb] #2862919
08/26/19 09:56 PM
08/26/19 09:56 PM
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 124
Florida
M
mikeyb Offline OP
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mikeyb  Offline OP
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 124
Florida
Things are moving along nicely for me. I went and looked at a place this morning, liked it and applied. Then went on to the lawyers office and paid the retainer to get that process rolling. On the way back from there I stopped off and played a round of 20 hole disc golf. Came home and sent off my paystubs for the rental application and then an hour later I got a response back that I'm approved and will be signing the lease first thing tomorrow morning!

Super excited to be in my own place and bring my dogs home!!!!


M(31) W(29)
Together 12yrs
Married 2yrs
ILYBNILWY/Divorce BD 11/23/18
EA Discovered 3/20/19

In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19
W Moved out 3/20/19
M Moved out 5/31/19
Re: Focusing on me (The Mikey B story Part 3) [Re: mikeyb] #2862951
08/27/19 03:23 AM
08/27/19 03:23 AM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,065
Colorado
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Ready2Change Offline
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Ready2Change  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,065
Colorado
Glad to hear. Having your own place will be nice.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"

Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time
Re: Focusing on me (The Mikey B story Part 3) [Re: mikeyb] #2864113
09/04/19 10:32 PM
09/04/19 10:32 PM
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 124
Florida
M
mikeyb Offline OP
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mikeyb  Offline OP
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Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 124
Florida
Whew, what a busy week it's been! Moved into my place on Saturday during the day. Then went out with some friends for some drinks and bowling, then pool, then darts haha. Had an absolute blast, although apparently I suck at darts :p

Woke up the next day and went to bring my dogs home. It's been great having them back, and they are loving the place. They're also behaving so well that I haven't had to crate my bigger dog like I used to while I'm at work. It's been an absolute delight. Really am glad to have them back, missed them so much. Although my parents spoiled the crap outta them while they were taking care of them.

Still have more unpacking to do but getting there. Also have a meeting on Monday with the lawyer to see how we are going to go about things. Overall though, feeling great about how things have been going and the progress I've made over the last 8 months!


M(31) W(29)
Together 12yrs
Married 2yrs
ILYBNILWY/Divorce BD 11/23/18
EA Discovered 3/20/19

In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19
W Moved out 3/20/19
M Moved out 5/31/19
Re: Focusing on me (The Mikey B story Part 3) [Re: mikeyb] #2864137
09/05/19 04:57 AM
09/05/19 04:57 AM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,065
Colorado
R
Ready2Change Offline
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Ready2Change  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,065
Colorado


Glad to hear. Much better arrangement.


Are you familiar with "Clicker training" for your dogs? It is amazing. Works with any age dogs.

I showed my kids how it worked. I worked on both dogs to hold eye contact. Less than 30 minutes. Now they both just stare me down.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"

Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time
Re: Focusing on me (The Mikey B story Part 3) [Re: Ready2Change] #2865350
09/15/19 04:31 AM
09/15/19 04:31 AM
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 124
Florida
M
mikeyb Offline OP
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mikeyb  Offline OP
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Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 124
Florida
Originally Posted by Ready2Change


Glad to hear. Much better arrangement.


Are you familiar with "Clicker training" for your dogs? It is amazing. Works with any age dogs.

I showed my kids how it worked. I worked on both dogs to hold eye contact. Less than 30 minutes. Now they both just stare me down.

I am familiar with it but haven't tried it. Might need to with my bigger dog. He doesn't like to listen very well. He's one of the "SQUIRREL!!!!" Types lol. My little one she listens pretty well for the most part.

As for the latest, things have been going great. I'm all settled into my place, spent the day today doing some yard work making the outside look good. Pressure washing, mowing etc.

Also had my meeting with the lawyer last Monday and she's getting my paperwork ready to send to the STBXW. Ready to get this part over with. Although I'm moving myself forward as if it's already done.

I've also decided to somewhat put myself back out there. I've been talking with a couple woman the last few days and may be arranging a date in the near future. Feeling pretty good about it 😊

Monday I'll be going kayaking down the river for some volunteer river clean up through my work. I've done this in the past and it's lots of fun. One year I had the best haul by bring in an engine block that someone dumped in the river.

Can't wait for Friday, myself and 5 friends are heading to the east coast for a concert and have rented a pool house for the night. It's gonna be a fun night, then head to the beach the following day before driving home.


M(31) W(29)
Together 12yrs
Married 2yrs
ILYBNILWY/Divorce BD 11/23/18
EA Discovered 3/20/19

In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19
W Moved out 3/20/19
M Moved out 5/31/19
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