You know what they say about cheaters? If their lips are moving, they’re lying. I’ve never seen a cheater admit to their partner that they were cheating, not once.
Things have been okay in the past few days. We have been laughing a lot and have spent some more time together. I guess focusing more on myself has helped him focus on me, too. Yesterday he asked me to go run a couple of errands with him and in the car he hinted at me being his wife again. Because I've put the focus on me he's asked if I'm mad at him or something. I just asked "think about it, why would I be mad at you?" with a smile, so he smiled back and seemed to relax a little. He still cuddles me all night and we had sex a couple of times this weekend, also. My therapist said we are the least broken up couple she's heard of, which is true. I guess I'm mostly wondering when he'll bring up the separation again because I know that is still an ongoing thought for him.
He also seems to be pushing my buttons, pushing for things that would normally make me mad or annoy me and then see my reaction. I stay pretty chill when he does and do not react, I actually have the opposite reaction, I seem happy and confident.
I guess things are going well, but more time is necessary. I like this board because we're all going through similar stuff but no one just says "just move on". Keep your encouragement coming, if you can! Or any advice you might think will help in these situations.
My best advice is to keep doing what works. Also, be very careful that you don’t get comfortable and fall back into old patterns, it’s very easy to do if you aren’t paying attention. What are you doing to ensure your changes stick?
I think the changes I've made are lasting, that's why we've been able to manage even when things seem rough. Even if it hurts, I try to take care of myself and not to let my anxiety and fear rule the show. I've been reading a lot, which always helps me feel better. Plus taking baths, going on walks, small things that keep my mood regulated. I'm hoping that if I stay stable he'll be able to get off the rollercoaster himself.
He requested money for rent again, which is normal since he usually pays and we split the bills. Or at least that's what we used to do. When he said we were done he said he'd take care of everything until I found a place to live. Now that he's closer, maybe it's an indication that he wants things to go back to normal? I don't know what to think and my anxiety is pretty bad today, although I'm not showing it in front of him. He came home and wanted to watch TV in bed, he seems to be stressed out or tired. After we finished the episode he asked if I wanted to go grab dinner instead of cooking, and I said yes. I'm wondering if he's trying to bring up R talk again and he wants to do it in a public place so that I don't cry. Maybe I'm being too negative. I don't want to get my hopes up so I think of the worst case scenario. It's stressful!
He didn't bring up R talk last night, but he did today. Still hasn't changed his mind and I told him I'd find a place to live soon. It's sad, but it might be for the best.
