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#2862403 08/22/19 12:31 PM
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Previous Thread:

Clearly haven't figured it out

For some reason posts to my thread weren’t showing up for me after my last big one this morning. Weird. Maybe I need a new thread.

He replied this morning

“Thanks, we are good for now, we are staying with family close by”

Haven’t responded

Last edited by job; 08/22/19 12:35 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread
Ginger1 #2862405 08/22/19 12:32 PM
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It wasn't because you needed to start a new thread. I had that same issue viewing other posts several weeks ago. However, I'm glad you started a new thread.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Ginger1 #2862406 08/22/19 12:39 PM
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And I would not respond


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Ginger1 #2862411 08/22/19 01:19 PM
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“Maybe I’m looking in the wrong places and finding the wrong people”

Where am I supposed to be looking ?! Clue me in!

I haven’t responded and I have training someone today so I’ll have to be a good little girl and focus and work anyways.

Ginger1 #2862412 08/22/19 01:20 PM
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BACK AWAY FROM THE BUMBLE!

((Ginger1))

I know there's a temptation to look. I saw a really cute woman on POF where I lurk a year or so older than I am who describes herself as a "sapiophile", has masses of freckles and I DIDN'T CONTACT HER.

We both need time to heal ourselves and not use someone else to do it.

How about we both put a mark in the sand and hold each other accountable and not reach out for another partner until September 28th at the earliest. Deal?

You can do this - but you've got to heal first and fully let go of "what could have been" first.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Ginger1 #2862421 08/22/19 02:22 PM
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I promise, no dating. I like that pact and the thought of keeping each other accountable.

I have such a full schedule anyways. Beginning of the school year, cheerleading season....I’m busy.

Friday night I am going to chill on the couch and watch bohemian rhapsody. Saturday all day I am doing major yard work. The weather is supposed to be beautiful. And Sunday I work.

I do need time to heal. I feel like I have 85% let go of him. I think I was letting go when we were together.

I’m just tired. My soul is tired

Ginger1 #2862429 08/22/19 03:13 PM
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Hey ginger

I gave myself almost almost 3 months after breaking things off with last boyfriend. And I was the one to end things. I was very busy. And just needed to evaluate. I was pretty depressed and in a bad mood during that time. Not because I missed him. More because, I didn’t understand why I was ever even with him.

I can’t say that I went back on line a fully healed person. I don’t believe that’s even possible. And people that think that way will end up never partnering. I’m wondering if it’s just a matter of finding a partner that’s dysfunctions mesh with yours in a non abusive way? Kind of like Don finding someone else that wants a casual relationship. Or me, that doesn’t mind clinging and feels safe with it? Or maybe a balance between being capable of being vulnerable but healthy enough to maintain personal boundaries and willingness to let go or experience loss when those needs aren’t met.

I had posted in your last thread to google the term “love addict”. Someone just told me about it yesterday. It kind of fits in with codependency but a bit different. Do you see yourself in that role?


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
Ginger1 #2862435 08/22/19 03:32 PM
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I think everyone enters a R at our age jaded to some extent and not able to love as completely as we once did. I don't think I will ever return to level of innocence I had with my xw.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Ginger1 #2862438 08/22/19 03:54 PM
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Confession time.

I responded with a “you know where to find me if you need me, again, I am very sorry, please give my best to your family”

I got a thank you in return.


Go ahead 2x4 me. I deserve it. Anyways. I just deleted the texts. I’m done now.

Later tonight I will get to the love addict thing. Interesting what I read. I don’t think it’s me, although it almost describes me.

We all have baggage and it’s how well we carry it and if baggage is compatible

No dating for me now. I don’t have that kind of energy

Ginger1 #2862444 08/22/19 04:08 PM
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Oh G.....hes a big boy, he knows. Please no more.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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