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In the end, he just wasn't that into you - and as soon as the dust settled, it was clear you were not that into him!


Haha - side story: when I was first dating after my ex split, I was dating this guy in Mendocino who I really liked. He however was a Love Avoidant and eventually I put an index card on the visor of my car that read "He's just not that into you" so I could remind myself of that fact as needed.

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Ginger1 Offline OP
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I am humbled by your compliments!! Seriously.

I guess he wasn’t all that into me on the end. And I want someone who is all that not me. Like your new man Juju. He seems pretty amazing. He was in the beginning, but not so much I guess as time goes on. Was it me? Or could have it been anyone and he would have felt the same? Going past 6 months, getting kids involved, etc. I wasn’t into the game of pursuit and distance. I felt like we had settled into an area where we can say “want to hang out” without being worried I was chasing, looking desperate, etc. I just wanted to see my boyfriend. And hated that feeling when it had to be on his terms. I’m ok with a “nah, I’ve got something to do tonight, or nah, I think I’m going to turn in early. Instead I got a lecture about the value of his time, his many responsibilities. Which I was so patient and understanding about. But, maybe I wasn’t making him as excited anymore -although a few weeks ago he was talking about all the things he wanted to experience and enjoy with me telling me we have plenty of time to do it. Something did flip his switch, and I truly believe in my heart of hearts it was when I brought up my feelings of being ignored and not feeling like my life is important and needing him. His tune changed drastically then he dumped me.

I also think it became all too real to him. One of the texts I looked back on was when we went away with the kids for the weekend for the first time. His idea, BTW. He became distant and I called him out on it and he told me he was freaked because “things got real”. And I really think that was the time he began distancing himself.

Anyways. I’m kind of excited to get back on the market. Probably because I don’t remember the horrors on OLD since it’s been a year. I could only hope to have some fortune like juju, because I have been through the ringer with it already. I think I’ve paid my dues. But I’m not ready because I don’t feel good about myself physically. But I think not waiting too long is a good idea so I can bring everything I learned fresh into it.

Maybe another first kiss would be nice. I guess it’s a perk.... the excitement again if i have a good date.

I decided to get rid of the shed we were going to fix. It’s the easy part of the project we were doing. Fixing the base was the hard part. But I decided I’ll hire someone to fix the base and maybe put an area for a fire pit there. So I listed it in FB market place groups. He is joined to a lot but I have him blocked so I don’t think he could see my posts there. Right before he broke up with me he decided to sell one of his kayaks. He didn’t tell me either, I saw it in the group. He called one of the. Single seaters “mine” and he had another single seater for him and double for him and his son. He seemed to be really looking forward to this trip he planned for us this upcoming Saturday ( his idea)

Part of me wonders what he is thinking. If I’m on his mind at all or he just decided to block me out. But again, I’ll never know. We did have good times. We had some really good times. It was good when we were together. I pass by the place we had our first date to and from work. I get sad thinking about how we were planning to go there for our 1 year dating anniversary. He was telling me all the details he remembered from that day like 2 weeks ago.

I don’t get it, and it does make me sad. Just not devastated. I wish things could have been different.

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Ginger - I think a lot of guys know how to act in the beginning. I think they get lazy. Or maybe lose infatuation. Time will tell with me and my new boyfriend. It’s only the beginning but very different even early on from the last boyfriend.

. But I think what we both need to do is be able to walk away if things go south more quickly. It took me a long time with last guy and I needed a lot to do it. But I’m glad I was the one to end it. It gave me power back. It sounds like you are in a good place though considering.


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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I need your help! Stat!

I swear, I can’t make this stuff up!

Someone posted something in a FB group about a house fire on the street where M lives. It was really bad, a 3 alarm, the whole right slide of the house is destroyed. And his puggle dog died in the fire. It happened this morning.

I’m freaking out. What do I do? I’m am so devastated for them. I feel like the right thing to do is reach out.

His mom was home but luckily not hurt.

It made the local news

I want to reach out and tell him I saw it on the news and if there is anything I can do I am here

What would you do?

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So only the dog was hurt?


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Only the precious dog died. His mom got out. Thank god. The house and his truck are destroyed.

My heart hurts for his mom. It was his house. And his son lost his other home. And I am sure the ex is going to use this ammo.

I feel awful. I blocked him and sent a message. He of course didn’t answer and I don’t expect him to. But it was the right thing. I’m just shocked

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Wait - this was M's mother's home where he lived???? Are you sure???

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Ginger1 Offline OP
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It is. And I am 100% positive. Saw the actual address in the police call and saw the pictures online.

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Originally Posted by Ginger1
Only the precious dog died. His mom got out. Thank god. The house and his truck are destroyed.

My heart hurts for his mom. It was his house. And his son lost his other home. And I am sure the ex is going to use this ammo.

I feel awful. I blocked him and sent a message. He of course didn’t answer and I don’t expect him to. But it was the right thing. I’m just shocked


G, not your responsibility, I would only get involved if he reaches out and you are last resort.. he made it clear where you stand in his life.. if he reaches out, offering temporary shelter would be ok, but don’t expect a romcom, he needs to figure out what’s next ASAP


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
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Wow - karma IS a giant f-ing biatch!!!!

Just hoping crazy ex-wife didn't start it, and that he doesn't think you could have been involved.


You sent your condolences now stay out of it. It's sad but it's THEIR business, not your problem anymore.

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