G....I wonder if some of this with M ties back to the comment he made a while back about never wanting to get married again? Does it make you question whether or not there is a future and all of this other stuff that he is doing just amplifies that comment? Adds to your insecurities?
Several weeks ago the Dr. made a comment to me about how special I am to her and that she could see herself getting married to me. Then she followed that statement up by saying that she didn't care if I knew because if that caused me to run then I was not the right person for her. Last night she made the comment that she doesn't understand why people date to just date with no intent for a future. Essentially why waste time. I said I don't know that eventually something has to give and a choice has to be made.
I am not advocating you have the conversation or don't have the conversation but what I am advocating that you do is go for what you want. Pull back, don't initiate, wait for him to make contact etc. but eventually you have to speak your truth's and IMO what will be will be. What will happen will happen and be confident in yourself that how it happened is the way it was supposed to happen.
I can only guess, but he may just not really be someone who can give what a relationship needs, and being in a relationship makes him feel crowded. The Love Avoidant type who doesn't ever want to feel obligated (I dated a few of those, remember.)
I guess, in retrospect, you've often spoken here about how he wasn't quite meeting your needs - I guess we all should have taken that a bit more seriously.
Yuck - this really leaves you with a bunch of questions, doesn't it? But the MOST important ANSWER is - a guy who would do this like this, is NOT THE GUY YOU WANT TO BE WITH. Don't go down your rabbit hole of childhood abandonment issues - this is about HIM, not you. You did everything right this time.