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A Message from Michele
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Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: AndrewP] #2861677
08/16/19 08:20 PM
08/16/19 08:20 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,055
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Dawn70 Offline
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Dawn70  Offline
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Originally Posted by AndrewP
Originally Posted by kml
Andrew, I swear if my younger sister is ever widowed I'll have to introduce you. (Not to be morbid but her husband IS older and an occasionally dry alcoholic). She's smart and nerdy, picks her own berries for jam every year, would LOVE someone who wanted to go to things like that but also happy to hang out at home quilting, loves cats, hardworking and down to earth. And her house has three stories so she's not afraid of stairs!!!

Seriously though - there's a woman like my sister out there for you somewhere, and when you find her she'll be THRILLED.
LOL - I believe that Dawn has already called dibs on me for her mother. I believe that one of the conditions is that I have to be able to say "y'all" with a straight face. One of the curses of my life - I'm such a "great" guy ...... for somebody else laugh

Appreciate the sentiment and smile though.


I did, in fact, call dibs on behalf of my lovely mother. Youíve seen her on my Facebook, so you know what she looks like. You can ease into the yíall thing and it will become 2nd nature....just like ďeh?Ē wink


Me 49, XH 51
3 adult daughters from his first marriage
3 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
My 1st marriage, his 2nd
BD 9/29/2014
H moved out 10/6/2014
H filed D 11/4/2014
D final 12/17/2014
Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: AndrewP] #2861681
08/16/19 08:43 PM
08/16/19 08:43 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 14,899
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kml Offline
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kml  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 14,899
Yeah but my sister is 7 years younger than me and therefore close to Andrews age smile

Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: AndrewP] #2861686
08/16/19 09:12 PM
08/16/19 09:12 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 14,899
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kml Offline
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Posts: 14,899
Btw Andrew have you ever read the book A Sailor of Austria? I think you would like it. Historical novel about a submarine captain of the Austrian-Hungarian empire during WWI. Hilarious and fascinating at the same time.

Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: kml] #2861707
08/17/19 01:41 AM
08/17/19 01:41 AM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,662
Canada
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AndrewP Offline OP
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AndrewP  Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,662
Canada
Originally Posted by kml
Btw Andrew have you ever read the book A Sailor of Austria? I think you would like it. Historical novel about a submarine captain of the Austrian-Hungarian empire during WWI. Hilarious and fascinating at the same time.

I checked and my village public library has a digital copy available for loan. Because of the 2 week limit for a book and limited reading time I'll have to time it right. Perhaps for my flight to Spain. It seems like a fun read. I'm a big Patrick O'Brian fan which probably is no surprise.

------

Minor vent. Home after a long week. Enjoying a beer (Molson Canadian) and working on the grocery list. I have far too many of those Google Home devices and if I say "Hey Google I'm Home" it starts playing old time swing and jazz. The internet knows me far too well I suppose. My musical tastes have certainly shifted in the last few years. Unsurprisingly to my readers, B was a big fan of Nickelback - and yes, I have that in my library too and enjoy it from time to time. It used to be mostly Country, Blues and what I think of as Texas Blues (ZZ-Top, Stevie Ray Vaughan)

The grocery list is much easier now that it's back to the two of us. Found 2 bottles of expired salad dressing (Pre B) and dumped them. After some reading am thinking of changing from the almonds that B preferred as a protein addition to cashews. D27 pointed out to me some time ago her concerns about the environmental impacts of almond farming especially in California. Given my high blood pressure, cholesterol and related issues, I believe that cashews are a good choice for that. And I found a huge block of cheddar cheese added to the 3 blocks already in the fridge. It seems that my ex is marking her territory and broadcasting her association with the milkman again. Le sigh. I'd told S24 that I didn't want to see that cheese in the house again but suspect that he was pressured.

S24 is I believe working at the pub tonight. I do think that something(s) is bothering him but nattering at him wouldn't be helpful. I'd noticed an official government issued delivery of THC that had arrived some days ago and when I was in his room it also seemed to have been fairly rapidly consumed. I believe that recently he's been going through - ahem - locally sourced as well a fair bit. He knows my attitude about it. I don't approve but won't tell him no. I'd hoped to discuss the menu for Sunday. Current plan is cubed butternut squash, cauliflower with cheese sauce, farmer's sausage with fried onion and then salted caramel cake (made by my friend) for desert. I have all this already except the cake which I pick up tomorrow morning.

Watching Ginger go through her own break-up shortly after mine has been enlightening and helpful - sorry Ginger. Square pegs and round holes indeed. Thinking back it's astounding how resistant B was to put a toe in to my world. Oddly for someone who professed to love to cook I think we only grocery shopped together twice and she seemed uncomfortable being with me even at the grocery store. Perhaps it's odd to me given my history where my ex was always front and centre making sure that everyone was well aware that I was her posession. I find that the itch to contact her, to worry about what she's up to is in some ways at a comparable level to my feelings about my ex-wife already.

Like with Ginger I think that there were a lot of layers of things going on with B that undoubtedly I will never understand.

There's a bunch of stuff going on at work and personally that I wish I had a partner to talk to. I don't. I'll have to navigate it without advice but I know that even my ex had detached from wanting to listen beyond a superficial "he's unhappy with his high paying job - he must be depressed" commentary I got in the last year or so of marriage.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: AndrewP] #2861710
08/17/19 02:28 AM
08/17/19 02:28 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 3,941
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Ginger1 Online
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Hey, if my breakup can help others, Iím happy to have something good come from it. Bending and conforming to make someone happy work doesnít work. Itís doesn't bring two people together. It doesnít change the fact they are two different people. There is a certain amount of differences that are healthy in a relationship, but both sides have to want to work and grow with those differences. For sure, one side canít do all the work. I sure as heck tried that one too many times. And it doesnít work.

I see you one day, strolling around town, hand in hand with a lovely woman window shopping and stopping for some pie. Happy and chosen for who you are with a woman who puts in what you do

Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: AndrewP] #2861779
08/18/19 12:48 AM
08/18/19 12:48 AM
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,546
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DnJ Offline
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DnJ  Offline
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Hello Andrew

Lots of caring advice I see. You are indeed in good hands around here.

Your LRT comments - funny! Perhaps being a fellow Canadian helped with the humour. I think you needed one more smiley face. smile eh?

Glad the temporary shed came on sale. Now you just need a new car deal you just canít let pass by. Hereís hoping.

Iíve been following along and agree with the others, no need to rehash it.

I do however, think you need to get some pizza. Really?!?!? An entire year! On purpose? My goodness!

Quick! You and I, an extra large meat lovers pizza and 6 beers. I canít drink alcohol so youíll need to cover for me. Be there in 5 minutes. Hahaha . But seriously, if I was closer, we be going.

Take care Andrew.

DnJ


Oct 8/17 - BD
Me49 W46 S20 S19 S16 D15
M26 T29
w/OM, Left Kids
Dec 9/17 - Legal Separation
Oct 3/18 - W Files
Apr 6/19 - Divorced
Current
Me51 XW48 S22 S20 S18 D17

I may give up, but not today.
Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: AndrewP] #2861807
08/18/19 03:34 PM
08/18/19 03:34 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,662
Canada
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AndrewP Offline OP
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AndrewP  Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,662
Canada
I love Sunday mornings.

For most of my marriage that was the "only" day of the week that I was allowed to ask for sex. Sometimes she would even agree crazy But that's the way I thought things worked and was content with that. For the last 5 or 6 years of my marriage we would also go out to a favourite cafe for breakfast then do the groceries. "Sunday supper" wasn't a "thing" back then although I was always happy when an effort would be made.

I was thinking this morning on how nice it would have been to have B waking up next to me but then thought "oh yeah - after she moved in she was away most weekends at her cottage". So it wasn't a thing.

Sunday mornings were very painful for quite a long time after bomb-day. It was a big empty space that used to be filled with love. Now they are calm and peaceful oasis where nothing much "has" to be done and my time is my own.

I really have no idea what is going on in B's life and will admit to only modest curiosity. I expect that this weekend she's at the cottage as usual. I am somewhat surprised to not hear from her in the "we're still friends aren't we" way but whatever. I did check and she's not been on the POF site so we can all hope that she is working on herself. I also updated my profile. Having read quite a few female profiles my theory is that the best one is only a paragraph or so with just a couple of pictures and a light-hearted tone. Too long and too many photos comes across as desperate. Too little - like B had - makes it look like you're not taking it seriously. I did update the headline as kml jokingly suggested to say "I have room for your stuff" which I expect will certainly stand out. Being noticed is 80% of the battle. That is extremely funny to me, says a lot and is certainly unusual. My subscription is paid up through to the start of February - so no real rush even when I turn it back on which is planned for the end of September. I have been getting blasted with ads lately for a new dating site called Hily usually presented with a teenage looking girl being all excited and suggesting that I stop wasting my time and just hook up. No. Thank. You.

I managed to get the framing for the new shed all up yesterday. It was tedious and there were some parts where I certainly could have used an extra pair of hands but one pair is all I got. S25 (his birthday is today) got up shortly before going to work. He did assist with some advice about placement of the shed though. At 24' long and 12' wide it takes up a "lot" of space. One bit that was really annoying is that the over 100 bolts were of three different lengths but the same thread size and all packaged together. I ended up taking them in to the kitchen and carefully sorting them by size into separate bags to be sure that I used the right bolt for the right connection. Actually sorting and identifying all the parts was I think one of the longer bits of the build so far. The instructions are all pictograms as well which generally only make sense after you've already built the darned thing.

I BBQ'd a steak for dinner, cleaned the kitchen and then sat out with a small fire in my fire pit and a good book with my book light. The sort of evening that B had often talked about sharing with me. The sort of evening that I have done regularly for the past 3 1/2 years.

FSL wasn't working yesterday but her boss was - who is also single, very pretty and also closer in age to me. I do know that she has a boyfriend who doesn't live with her and that usually when he is referred to it is accompanied with an eye-roll. She seemed extra friendly yesterday. Undoubtedly sympathy for my reclaimed single status. I had a haircut in the morning and my barber both called me a pig for thinking of dating someone under 40 and also encouraged me to ask FSL out. I don't know. Certainly not doing anything for a month or so.

I did pick up my tickets for my Madrid trip including a pre-booked ticket for the Prada museum. It should be good and undoubtedly exhausting. I need to decide if I will upgrade to first class when I get my seat / boarding pass. I'm a bit bigger than the average bear and while I'm noticably smaller than I was 4 years ago, economy airplane seats are still a bit of a tight fit.

Well - thunderstorms are forecast for later today although right now the conditions are very nice. The nights have been cooling down quite a lot making perfect sleeping weather. Time for me to get S25's cake out of the fridge along with the garlic farmer's sausages I'll be cooking.

Time for my cat to find a new snoozing spot and for me to get outside and stare meaningfully at the instructions for the shed.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: AndrewP] #2861810
08/18/19 04:13 PM
08/18/19 04:13 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 26,433
Southern Maryland
job Offline

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job  Offline

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Posts: 26,433
Southern Maryland
Happy Birthday to your son. I'm sure he will enjoy the cake.

You made quite a bit of progress on your new shed.

It won't be long and you'll be in Spain. I really hope that you can just focus on you and the trip while you are there.

Enjoy your Sunday.

Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: AndrewP] #2861846
08/19/19 12:45 AM
08/19/19 12:45 AM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,662
Canada
A
AndrewP Offline OP
Member
AndrewP  Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,662
Canada
Being a single parent is tough. Being a single parent to a narcissistic child is tougher. S25 (as of today) is a "lot" like his mother. He did show up for dinner. Ate about half of his favourite foods that I made for him. Made some sarcastic remarks about his cake although I'm sure he enjoyed it. It almost felt through the whole dinner that he was looking for something to complain about. I think even his sister who called in from Virginia to sing Happy Birthday to him saw that things were off today. I carefully gave him no hooks to dig in to. I've experienced this quite a few times - just venting here tonight.

I am positive that he neither knows nor appreciates the effort I put in to both Sunday suppers and his birthday. I reassure myself that I'm doing these things because they are important to me.

Days like today I really wish that I had someone I could lean on to who would tell me that they're proud of me and that I'm doing a good job in tough circumstances. I also sort of wish that S25 was his mother's problem but that isn't going to happen.

PS - the shed got completed. The 'Bear fits in quite nicely and I now need to make patching her up a priority.

I still have three shirts to iron and then off to bed for me. I'm so very very tired.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: AndrewP] #2861851
08/19/19 01:12 AM
08/19/19 01:12 AM
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,653
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doodler Offline
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doodler  Offline
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Originally Posted by AndrewP
Days like today I really wish that I had someone I could lean on to who would tell me that they're proud of me and that I'm doing a good job in tough circumstances. I also sort of wish that S25 was his mother's problem but that isn't going to happen.


Andrew,

Yes, I miss having someone to lean on as well.

I just thought of the perfect job (in my humble opinion) for your son, he should join the military. Food, shelter and a paycheck. What could be better? And, he'd probably learn to appreciate what he has with you as a dad.

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