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From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues #2860914
08/10/19 08:13 PM
08/10/19 08:13 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,657
Canada
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AndrewP Online OP
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Canada
K. Time for a complete re-think of everything.

Old thread "It's a world of laughter"
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2860908&page=1

Disney it seems has lied to me about many things, especially the random woodland creatures who help with the dusting. Which I'm about to get to here on a Saturday. So perhaps abandoning the prior theme is appropriate.

Anyone who has known me for any length of time will become aware that I am somewhat of a "nautical cove" or to paraphrase from BlackAdder "Yes! Well, he's a sort of wet fish."

In recognition of my upcoming trip to Madrid, I encourage you to join me in this rollicking old tune. Drinking rum while doing so is optional. Sadly in my house the rum has been all gone since this past Christmastide when it is mixed with chicken milk. Those who get those references have been following along far far far too long.

Quote
Farewell and adieu to you, Spanish ladies,
Farewell and adieu to you, ladies of Spain;
For we have received orders
For to sail to old England,
But we hope in a short time to see you again.

(Chorus:)
We'll rant and we'll roar, like true British sailors,
We'll range and we'll roam all on the salt seas;
Until we strike soundings
In the Channel of old England,
From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues.

We hove our ship to, with the wind from sou'west, boys,
Then we hove our ship to, for to strike soundings clear;
'Twas 45 fathoms with a white sandy bottom
So we squared our main yard
And up channel did steer

So the first land we made, it is called the Deadman,
Next Rame Head off Plymouth, Start, Portland, and Wight;
We sailèd by Beachy,
By Fairly and Dungeness,
And then bore away for the South Foreland light.

Now the signal it was made for the Grand Fleet to anchor
All in the Downs that night for to meet;
Let go your shank painter, / Let go your cat stopper
See clear your shank painters,
Haul up your clewgarnets, let tack and sheets fly

Now let every man take off his full bumper,
And let ev'ry man drink off his full glass;
We'll drink and be jolly
And drown melancholy,
And here's to the health of each true-hearted lass.


And yes - I actually know most of those nautical terms. Yarrr.

Not sure if I'll have a fire tonight in my fire pit or watch the Disney Treasure Island, Muppet Treasure Island or Hornblower with Gregory Peck. Theoretically on my tablet I could do fire and movie. Hmmm. I "am" unsupervised.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: AndrewP] #2860930
08/10/19 11:57 PM
08/10/19 11:57 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,833
Massachusetts
B
bttrfly Offline
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bttrfly  Offline
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Massachusetts
or mutiny on the bounty


M 20+ T25+
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16


“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Rumi
Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: bttrfly] #2860972
08/11/19 02:53 PM
08/11/19 02:53 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,657
Canada
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AndrewP Online OP
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Originally Posted by bttrfly
or mutiny on the bounty
I have the version with Charles Laughton and Clark Gable. I find it a bit "fluffy" but that was the way they did films back then.

I actually read William Bligh's book that he wrote after the mutiny. It's more or less his log book as he certainly wasn't an author. An interesting and complex man. He was James Cook's navigator and rose through the ranks rather than buying his commission which was more common.

Dealing with melancholia. I think I'm in the depression stage of grief with a mix of bargaining and acceptance.

I ended up not watching a movie nor having a fire. I did sit up with my book for a while and woke up this morning with a pounding headache from a hangover.

I'd had a dream that B had texted me multiple times saying that she had made a horrible mistake and wanted to come home. The reality is that I messaged "her" at dinner time with a picture of my dinner and saying that I missed her. Her response was "yummie".

When I dragged my butt out of bed I saw that the dishes hadn't been done since Friday so for my penance I made a pot of tea and cleaned the kitchen. I'd tossed the various leftovers that B had been saving yesterday so that added to the pile. She was actually fairly decent about using things up.

I didn't bother making myself a breakfast. For one thing there were no clean forks and for another I have no appetite.

I need to stop paying attention to or contacting B. It's over done and gone. Contacting her does nothing at all for me other than cause pain. It may make her feel good that "we're still friends" but my being all sad, unless she's sadistic can't be good for her either.

It is weird seeing the empty places where her stuff used to be. I went in to the laundry room this morning and paused turning the corner because I'd gotten used to over half of it being taken up with her unpacked boxes. The floor is open and clear. It's a pretty big room. My ex-wife used to also have it packed full of stuff and I suppose I'd gotten quickly used to not being able to use the full room again.

I did hear from 20 something that she may indeed be getting a house soon and moving her stuff out too. That will empty out the spare room, front porch and storage area under the back stairs. I'll need to date someone with "stuff" I suppose. At least I have a couch now. But oddly still no paper towel holder. I noticed yesterday that the old one that I had asked S24 to send to his mother is still in his room.

What would have been my 30th anniversary is tomorrow. It's been weighing on my mind a lot lately. When I was in my relationship with B it weighed a lot lighter. Now it's a cloud obscuring the sun.

I need to pay some bills this morning including sending my ex her monthly payment. I'd thought of including a snarky note but won't.

Busy day here and a busy week upcoming. I may or may not cut my grass. I didn't last weekend but at this time of the year it doesn't grow too fast. The weeds are poking up fairly high. I have ironing and of course dinner to make. I'd promised my friend at the cafe that I'll be there for lunch today which will do me no end of good. And I do think I'll go for a walk in the woods first. I have meetings at the Toronto corporate office on Wednesday so may or may not have a work from home day. It'll be the first time I've been in that office in about a year - usually there's no reason. I have some friends in the downtown area that normally I'd be trying to get together with for a beverage and visit but I don't know as I'll be up to that.


I know that this will pass. I look online at the dating sites and know that I am very not ready to jump in to the pond for some time. My friends are all being encouraging telling me that there is absolutely someone better out there for me. It's flattering but feels like pressure.

Well - sitting here staring at this screen isn't getting stuff done and if I don't do it, it doesn't get done.

Off to the woods.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: AndrewP] #2860977
08/11/19 03:36 PM
08/11/19 03:36 PM
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,546
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DnJ Offline
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Good Morning Andrew

I’ve also noticed that those random woodland creatures do very little dusting. They do help themselves to the orchard, the apples, apricots, peaches, cherries, raspberries, hmm I forgot what the last two trees are...oh wait...plums. My goodness, I was drawing a blank. Haha.

I am proud of your views and progress regarding B. A lot happened in a matter of days. I did want to pass on my feelings and support, busy, and you had lots already. I did, and do, feel for you.

My views run with the authenticity of your 6 months. B and you had something. It was really. Please do not rewrite that. Remember the good, the great, and the not so great times for what, and as, they were.

B has some baggage to sort through, that’s all. Not every store needs, or has, a villain; sometimes the two heroes just part ways.

My nautical friend you’re writing a new chapter in your story. Another enjoyable trip to Madrid, hopefully without the biting bugs. Yeah I’ve read and learned a lot from you, mostly archaic pirate terms that apparently do not belong in company memos. smile

A new car on the horizon. Just an interesting thing I’ll pass on. I commute far enough, that the gas I save commuting with my Prius, that money is enough to pay a car loan. If you travel enough distance the new car becomes free or earns money, relative to what one did pay before. Perhaps your new C-HR will have a similar cost benefit; I know you travel a lot.

I would also buy that temporary garage for your boat. Get it seaworthy and get sailing.

And $100 for a trade in - take it. She has 540,000 km on her, and a broken front end needing $1500 of repairs. You might get a little more privately and a lot more stress getting rid of it. A few months of insurance while it sits awaiting a sale will quickly erode the extra profit, and you have limited parking. Me and S20 maybe loss some potential money by trading in his car, but it was sure easy. Just dropped off the car and took the new one, no fuss. Not sure how much a value that holds for you, it was worth it for me.

Enjoy the day.

DnJ


Oct 8/17 - BD
Me49 W46 S20 S19 S16 D15
M26 T29
w/OM, Left Kids
Dec 9/17 - Legal Separation
Oct 3/18 - W Files
Apr 6/19 - Divorced
Current
Me51 XW48 S22 S20 S18 D17

I may give up, but not today.
Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: AndrewP] #2860978
08/11/19 03:42 PM
08/11/19 03:42 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 14,892
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kml Offline
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Definitely STOP contacting B.

What you're experiencing,I think, is not so much the loss of B as the loss of having SOMEONE in your life. It's awfully nice to have a companion and you were ready for that. Once you've recuperated from this then you'll definitely be ready for a new woman.

Quote
I'll need to date someone with "stuff" I suppose


Haha you can put that in your profile "I have room for your stuff" lol

Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: AndrewP] #2860986
08/11/19 05:18 PM
08/11/19 05:18 PM
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Ginger1 Online
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Yeah, contacting her is only going to make you feel worse. And I agree with KML. You are feeling the loss of someone in your life, not B herself in particular. I know your feelings were real, but you too had essentially nothing in common and barely spent time with each other. You miss knowing someone was there . When you are ready, someone compatible who chooses to spend quality time with you experiencing life will come your way. That stuff is Pretty darn important to a long lasting relationship

Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: AndrewP] #2860989
08/11/19 05:47 PM
08/11/19 05:47 PM
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 515
Wales
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I’ve been told off in the past on here by Job for drinking too much, if it made me contact H.....remember?

Now it’s your turn! When one ‘has a few’ it’s so easy to end up texting, emailing etc.

Things you wouldn’t do sober. Go easy on the beer Andrew wink

Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: AndrewP] #2860990
08/11/19 05:48 PM
08/11/19 05:48 PM
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doodler Offline
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Andrew,

I'm sorry you're feeling down and depressed. Take care of yourself and try to get some social interaction.

My suggestion for a movie with old wooden ships is "Master and Commander" with Russell Crowe.

Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: DnJ] #2860996
08/11/19 07:14 PM
08/11/19 07:14 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,657
Canada
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AndrewP Online OP
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Originally Posted by doodler
My suggestion for a movie with old wooden ships is "Master and Commander" with Russell Crowe.
That's a fun film. If you watch carefully as they are rounding Cape Horn you can see some poor sod out on the head trying to have an - ahem - peaceful moment while the ice and storms are all around. A teaching moment if you watch it with your boys. I thought that was a fun and clever touch. Some good performances including by the HMS Rose. It was designed by Phil Bolger who was pretty upset at what they did with it. I built a sailing canoe he designed and had to learn how to use a three sided architects rule in the process. I still have the ruler around here somewhere. The boat was given away when I downsized the fleet. At one point I think I had 4 or 5 boats of different sizes that I'd built. I just have a Gavin Atkin designed Mouse Boat, my Peter Stevenson designed Weekender and much of a "One Sheet Skiff" that's been needing a bottom put on it for a while and a person much smaller than me to use it. I think I suggested that you make one with your boys at one point.

A "sailing" movie I quite like is Captain Blood which features one of the best sword fights going between Errol Flynn and Basil Rathbone. You also learn a surprising amount about gout too and the trade in Irish slaves to the Caribbean - something that most people have never heard of.

Went for a nice walk in one of the local nature areas. It would have been nicer if I'd remembered bug spray but I contributed my part to the local ecology in terms of the mosquitoes and deer flies who are probably rubbing their tums and burping now. It helped clear my head. Lunch at the cafe where my friend was sympathetic but also teasing about my reclaimed single status. It was slightly awkward because the other person working there at least used to be a very good friend with my ex. Grass is cut, had a nice soak in the tub which helped the bug bites and now time for ironing.

Originally Posted by kml
Haha you can put that in your profile "I have room for your stuff" lol
That is one of the funniest things ever. I may actually use it. It says a lot too which is one of the best things I like about it.

Originally Posted by Ginger1
You miss knowing someone was there.
I think you are exactly correct there. Even when she wasn't here, it was so comforting to know that she would be. I suppose that's one of the things that us long-time married folks yearn for more than the other fringe benefits of having a partner. Knowing that when things get tough that someone has your back. Knowing that there is someone to talk to after a long day. That part was difficult with B because she never really understood my white collar world, the politics and the priorities. To her a job was just something you did to make money at.
Originally Posted by Westo
I’ve been told off in the past on here by Job for drinking too much, if it made me contact H.....remember?

Now it’s your turn! When one ‘has a few’ it’s so easy to end up texting, emailing etc.

Things you wouldn’t do sober. Go easy on the beer Andrew wink
Thanks Westo - heard and understood.
Originally Posted by DnJ
I commute far enough, that the gas I save commuting with my Prius, that money is enough to pay a car loan. If you travel enough distance the new car becomes free or earns money, relative to what one did pay before. Perhaps your new C-HR will have a similar cost benefit; I know you travel a lot.

I would also buy that temporary garage for your boat. Get it seaworthy and get sailing.
Something to consider. I always wondered at the efficiency of a hybrid when you use so little of the benefit of charging it up at home. I always assumed that the additional weight would decrease performance over long distances. When I go to my Toronto office it's about 320km round trip. About 1/2 that to the acid plant. I do 2 days / week at each.

I don't think that the Prius would take a hitch all that well and pull my sloop. It's about 1500 lbs. It's funny when I was talking to FSL on Saturday she referred to my next car as my "forever" car - 'cuz I'm really really old I suppose but my thought is that as long as they last at least as long as the payments I'm doing good. Old Rocinante has as a 2010 has certainly done her duty and then some.

I have few doubts on being able to sell her easily. The $1500 that I would put in could easily be about $400 by someone who just wants to "make do" and only replace the one front shock to get her through a safety check. Thinking about it, I'll probably target around the end of September. My salesman at the dealership knows that I'm serious and if a deal on rates or price comes up he'll probably contact me. I did hear that the new car inventories are rather over-built - the share prices of some companies that sell in to that market have taken a beating in recent times. It wouldn't surprise me if there are deals to be had this fall.

I'm going to wait on the the shelter to go on sale. They often do. It would be nice to have it before Halloween when I take The 'Bear out and decorate her as a pirate ship. It would be handy to just slide her in and out and not worrying about the weather.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: From Ushant to Scilly 'tis thirty-five leagues [Re: AndrewP] #2861013
08/11/19 10:03 PM
08/11/19 10:03 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 14,892
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kml Offline
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kml  Offline
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Posts: 14,892
She may have made that "forever car" comment because in ten years we will likely not own cars, just call a self-driving car to take us to wherever.

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