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Story and Symptoms of WAW/MLC Part 5 #2859485
07/30/19 04:08 PM
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IHCLACS Online OP
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Last edited by IHCLACS; 07/30/19 04:08 PM.
Re: Story and Symptoms of WAW/MLC Part 5 [Re: IHCLACS] #2859520
07/30/19 07:23 PM
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Originally Posted by IHCLACS
No offense taken AS ;-) Just curious why it was perceived that way? I was short and in a hurry because of work. New thread started


Sounds like I just misinterpreted, sometimes it's hard to tell over the Internet. Sometimes I run across my own messages days or weeks later and think "wow that sounds so much different than it did when I was typing it" smile


Me: 58 w/ S16, D22, D25
Current R: 4 years
Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56
Re: Story and Symptoms of WAW/MLC Part 5 [Re: IHCLACS] #2859534
07/30/19 08:23 PM
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Yeah I understand that AS. There have been times where W texted me and I took it offensively the way was typed out. Sometimes it came across as a demand from her but then when I discuss it with her later that wasn't her intention. I know a lot of people including myself to come across that way sometime in text just because we're in a hurry to get a message out, and don't reread how we come across other people. Reading social cues when people mean well and want to give positive criticism versus them taking a jab at you is also a lost art in interpreting. I kind of come from a long line of argumentive defensive Misfits, and I always try to be the better example out of all of them. Depends on how defensive of someone is. My younger brother you can't tell him anything even if it's for his own good. I have those Tendencies sometimes as well but I try and hear what the other person trying to tell me before I react on something. Something I've been aware of probably since my adolescence. That and improving on my toneality when I speak with people. I used to have a really big chip on my shoulder and I've adjusted accordingly as I've gotten older, but there is always room for improvement and handling things correctly and then emotionally volatile situation. Divorce is new waters for me, because usually when relationships end you just walk away and that's it. but divorce I'm aware I'm still going to see this person for the rest of my life as long as my son is alive. So I have to be pleasant and civil, as long as I'm not getting disrespected or railroaded in the process, I will do my best to keep it that way.

Re: Story and Symptoms of WAW/MLC Part 5 [Re: IHCLACS] #2859926
08/02/19 06:26 PM
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Ready for the irony? We are both going back and forth deciding whether to divorce or not. She doesn't trust me, doesn't believe I can change, one day is fine with me, the next day just totally resents me, is guarded, has walls up, has no romantical feelings, cannot be vulnerable, will not work on the M, just wants her space and me out of the house and out of sight out of mind, so she can start "working on herself" more since she can't with me in the house. She is starting the refi. Now for the irony....Our first mediation appointment is on our 10th Wedding Anniversay. August 13th. I know everyone here is going to tell me not to do it and rightfully so. But I am tempted to get her an anniversary card as a 180. But im probably not. Opinions?

Last edited by IHCLACS; 08/02/19 06:30 PM.
Re: Story and Symptoms of WAW/MLC Part 5 [Re: IHCLACS] #2859929
08/02/19 06:44 PM
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Go ahead and get her a card.

IHC, you seem to be around her an awful lot. How is GAL going?


M(50), W(51),D(16)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Re: Story and Symptoms of WAW/MLC Part 5 [Re: IHCLACS] #2860041
08/04/19 01:48 AM
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Originally Posted by IHCLACS
She doesn't trust me, doesn't believe I can change, one day is fine with me, the next day just totally resents me, is guarded, has walls up, has no romantical feelings, cannot be vulnerable, will not work on the M, just wants her space and me out of the house and out of sight out of mind, so she can start "working on herself" more since she can't with me in the house. She is starting the refi. Now for the irony....Our first mediation appointment is on our 10th Wedding Anniversay. August 13th. I know everyone here is going to tell me not to do it and rightfully so. But I am tempted to get her an anniversary card as a 180. But im probably not. Opinions?


IH I mean seriously are we married to the same person. 15th anniversary is August 7. I feel the same way to I even mention that it’s our anniversary? Probably not. It’s a shame that our wives can’t see the big picture, they are so stuck on the past and believe no one can change in their life is ridiculous. The other thing is do they believe we can’t change or do they just say that in their mind to justify their actions? For the mere fact that they have changed, from being out loving wife to hating us should prove to them that people change all they have to do is look in the mirror. But that will never happen.


M:41 W:40
T:19 M: 15
D:12. S:9
BD: 8/10/18
Moved out: 8/18
Moved in: 9/18/18
Moved out: 4/22/19
D papers signed 11/4/19
Re: Story and Symptoms of WAW/MLC Part 5 [Re: Wolfman] #2860044
08/04/19 02:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Wolfman
Originally Posted by IHCLACS
She doesn't trust me, doesn't believe I can change, one day is fine with me, the next day just totally resents me, is guarded, has walls up, has no romantical feelings, cannot be vulnerable, will not work on the M, just wants her space and me out of the house and out of sight out of mind, so she can start "working on herself" more since she can't with me in the house. She is starting the refi. Now for the irony....Our first mediation appointment is on our 10th Wedding Anniversay. August 13th. I know everyone here is going to tell me not to do it and rightfully so. But I am tempted to get her an anniversary card as a 180. But im probably not. Opinions?


IH I mean seriously are we married to the same person. 15th anniversary is August 7. I feel the same way to I even mention that it’s our anniversary? Probably not. It’s a shame that our wives can’t see the big picture, they are so stuck on the past and believe no one can change in their life is ridiculous. The other thing is do they believe we can’t change or do they just say that in their mind to justify their actions? For the mere fact that they have changed, from being out loving wife to hating us should prove to them that people change all they have to do is look in the mirror. But that will never happen.
IH, Wolf, my 15th wedding anniversary is in a few weeks as well. I was thinking a simple “Happy Anniversary” text. Maybe not until late morning or early afternoon to see if she sends something first. I recall reading a post from AnotherStander where he took his W out for dinner while DBing but he had moved on emotionally and had zero expectations as he was already moving through the D process.

Another text possibility: “The first X years of our marriage were amazing, the last year has been absolute hell, happy anniversary!” Just kidding, wouldn’t recommend sending that unless you want to fast track the D.


Me: 40 W: 38, S: 8 D: 5
T: 19 M: 15, BD: 11/6/2018
PA confirmed & IHS: 12/3/2018
W moves out: 4/2/2019
Retrouvaille: 9/27-9/29/2019
Re: Story and Symptoms of WAW/MLC Part 5 [Re: IHCLACS] #2860059
08/04/19 01:06 PM
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Curtis when I read these posts by you it really concerns me about your well being. You want to text your W "Happy Anniversary" WTF? Are you going to send her flowers too? The term "Happy Anniversary" implies your Anniversary is happy times. Come on man please please please start to respect yourself.

I wish AS wouldn't have posted that. You're no where near where he was at and at the time he had zero knowledge of another male. Neither of you have come close to moving on emotionally and would have 100% expectations.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Re: Story and Symptoms of WAW/MLC Part 5 [Re: IHCLACS] #2862810
08/26/19 11:00 AM
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Been quiet for a while because things are so ridiculous. Irony of Anniversary date last week. W goes to Dietary Weight Loss Program night before 10th anniversary date, gets Burger King afterwards, gets sick at both ends and food poisoning at stroke of midnight on anniversary date. I made sure she was ok, brought her water, plastic bags, paper towels, etc, made sure she got whatever was needed. Checked in on her again at 4am before leaving for work to make sure if I had to watch S1 or not since she felt ill. Wished her a happy anniversary anyway, we both laughed at the irony of it since she had come full circle. (She threw up the night I proposed to her from too much champagne 11 years ago.)

Had mediation last week. She made her intentions clear she wanted to move BIL into our home from Pittsburgh soon to compensate rent for mortgage, and for him to help with home renovations, since I refused to compleyr because both BIL's stuck their hands in my work, ripped some of it out, and left my tools all a mess all over the garage. Left stuff all over yard, which I haven't touched or have moved in two months. (Didn't state by what timeline and whether I would be out of home or in it. More on this later.) (First I heard of this, but anticipated it.)

Mediator was pushing for divorce to make things leagally binding. We both decided we would make that decision when physically apart and seperated. Even the mediator told W, she needs to get her financial ducks in a row, and is taking a lot of debt risk with refi and her revolving debts, equity, debt consolidation, plus payout/buyout and just attempting to give me a $5k advance as incentive, and not full split of equity until 2020. W drew up rough draft PSA agreement which we both revised a few times. I changed myself from Respondant to Petitioner, and gave myself a reasonable date of November 30th to be moved out. She changed it to Oct.30th and wants my stuff moved out by Sept 30th.

PSA:
Respondent will remain in the family home, located at XXXXX, until
the property is sold in 2020. The Respondent agrees to list the family home for sale with a realtor of her
choice by and no later than April 30, 2020. The Respondent agrees to pay all expenses associated with
living in the home, including but not limited to the mortgage payments, taxes, insurance, utility bills, and
maintenance costs.
The parties agree that the current value of the equity in the homestead will be determined by a home
appraisal that will be paid for by the Respondent at the time of submitting an application for refinance.
The current equity of the home, to be determined by the appraisal, will be split evenly between both the
Petitioner and the Respondent. The Respondent has agreed to pay for the Petitioner's share of joint
credit card consolidated debt in the amount of _______, in addition to a partial payment of $5,000.00
on October 30th, 2019 with the understanding that the Petitioner will be moved out and have his
personal belongings removed from the family home at XXXX into his own personal residence
by, and no later than October 30th, 2019. If the Petitioner chooses to remain in the homestead until this
date, the Petitioner agrees to pay rent in the amount of $1200.00 for the month of October, 2019 due
on October 1, 2019. The Petitioner also agrees that all personal belongings will confined to his
bedroom, the garage, and the backyard shed. Furthermore, any items outside of these areas will need
to be removed from the homestead or put into the aforementioned spaces within the home by
September 30, 2019. The Petitioner agrees to sign a quitclaim for the property deed to the family home
at XXXX on October 30, 2019. At the time that this signature is complete,
the Petitioner will receive the partial buyout payment of $5,000.00 from the Respondent.
Upon the sale of the family home, the Petitioner's remaining equity in the amount of _______ will be
paid by the Respondent. If the Respondent chooses or is required to remain in the homestead, the
Respondent will be expected to pay the Petitioner the remaining equity payment no later than August 2020.

Mediator gave us financial software portal login info and CIS intake form for consideration of all expenses, marital asset and liabilities.

Been having fun with the kid doing small things, day trips, going to Wal-Mart, Ice Cream, Etc. W has been going on vacation a lot this summer since she is off from work as teacher/behavioral specialist. 4 day beach trips, amusement parks with friends, more weekly beach trips, going out doing her own GAL. Ordering more and more personal crap online to the house. Tried having yet another talk, and understanding of what she's going through two weeks ago just before mediation. She felt my attempt to understand and validate was disingenuous. Oh well...

Here are the two kicks to the nut$ as of recently. She came up short for month of Aug, had absolutely no money since she doesn't get paid throughout summer. Back in Feb, we agreed to put aside OUR combined tax monies for covering bills through June-Aug. She changed the game and her responses on that as of recently. Used up all tax monies on "bills" and other "expenses"   Actually applied for additional lines of personal credit and was denied due to having high multiple revolving balances. So I confronted her about why she didn't have the money for Aug for joint bills and mortgage for August. And even though it's not any of my business anymore, that she apparently had the money to be making all these trips and buying all these smalls things, personal care products, all these summer trips, etc. She told me that her friends and her parents were picking up most of the tabs on these things. I verified otherwise according to statements and invoices I seen on the dining room table that were billed to her credit card. So she may have lied exaggerated the truth on some of that.

I've been making good money this summer bustung my butt with OT. I fronted her $4000 to cover all joint expenses and mortgage for month of Aug in agreement that I wouldn't be making any contributions for the month of September. I get a polite thank you.

Since was paying into my own health  insurance, but had a extremely high deductible on mental health, and she was paying to also keep me on her's as well for mental health coverage purposes, which I terminated last month. Just after I floated her the $4000. for Aug expenses then the very next day I get this email:

"One of the only remaining balances we need to settle is for your share of health insurance. For January- August, insurance cost $354.88/ each per month if split evenly for our own share plus S1 (($709.76 total/month). For January-June, you owed $2129.28 before deducting your half of the tax return which was $1712.47/each. So, the remaining balance that you owe me is $416.81- $75 that I used from the joint account last month for gas and groceries. So, your final amount owed is $341.81. Let me know if you have any questions."

I figure ok that's fair to ask that. Tasteless and tactless but fair. I haven't paid her the remaining balances on it but will. (Still tactless considering I just bailed her out for Aug, used my savings and potential future rent deposit, and now have to make it up in Sept. Plus she used half of my tax return to deduct what "I owe her" as a way of her saying "hey I already spent your half of the tax money, I'm still broke, and I need more liquidy from you.")

Since she doesn't speak with me unless absolutely necessary, and I keep insisting that we do not have conversations because of our inability to communicate, to keep it to email for accountability reasons. I emailed her two weeks in advanced on S1 audiologist audiologist doctor's appointment for S1 since we wanted to have his hearing tested because of his lack of response to certain things asking to keep me updated via email, and not by verbal interaction because we have severe communication issues.

I sent this on 08/06:

H: Please keep me posted on S1 current pediatric appointments, hearing and attention assessment, and further hearing, motor, or other functionary referrals as discussed.

W: She replied back "Will do" 08/06 but never got back to me with a specific date and time of appointment. Then this Monday night August 19th she told me about S1's appointment the next day at 5 p.m. I argue that I wasn't notified of a specific date and time and she never got back to me via email. Then she goes into blame shifting mode, gaslights me, and blames it on my memory, and that's not her fault that I can't remember conversations that she thinks she has had with me but never did. I tell her no these are conversations that never took place, and this is the exact reason why I keep emphasizing email communications only for the last several months. If I don't receive a response via email than that conversation didnt take place as far as I'm concerned. Follow the protocol. I told her that I'm not doing this anymore, and I'm not arguing with her, not being gas lit, or blamed for conversations that never took place. I'm not having anymore verbal conversations with her over logistics for this exact reason.

Because of the last-minute appointment notification interfere with me straightening up the yard for the appraiser her appraiser to come the next day.

Email: W: Just an fyi,  The appraisal is scheduled for this Wednesday afternoon. If there is any way you can strain up the yard, id appreciate it.

H: Your push mower is in the front yard, and some weeds can get pulled if you want to get started. I would appreciate it.

H: The yard is going to have to stay the way it is since until Thurs since it is at conflict with S1 5pm audioligist appointment which is more important to me. Which I was just now notified the date and time the night before after several email and verbal requests for date and time.

I am unable to communicate efficiently with you regarding S1 well being, appointments, finances, and other pertinent subjects from conversations that never took place, or partially took place verbally between us and left open ended,  due to lack of written response on your part, or you're memory loss.

Please stick to the plan of email for all future events and requests. It is what works for both of us right now. I can take care of a portion of the yard Thurs or this weekend.

Thanks.

Another added expense and issue coming up is daycare for Sept. For S1 since MIL is unable to watch him since she has cancer again and is going through chemo. We are anti-vaxxers so that also became an issue. She has appointments with three different facilities today. She got a little arrogant in email yesterday because she had to make 4 phone calls for child care.

This is the response I get:

W: I just scheduled three tours of daycare centers for tomorrow, 8/23.
1. XXX AT XXX  At 9:30 am
11:30 am

2.) XXX at XXX At 11:30

3. XXX at XXX at 1:15pm

I'm still waiting to hear back from one more day care center in XXX called XXX.

H: Ok. But does it do any good to schedule 3 day care centers tours? Unless all of them have vaccination exemptions? I'm missing info from you here. Do all 3 have vaccination exemptions? What is tuitions costs? Travel/Convenience time frames, etc? I would prefer to make a logical decision that suits all all 3 needs.

W: They all accept religious exemptions. Its too much info to share by email, so ill fill you in after work.

H: No thank you. Email only of intineary and details. I don't want to be accused of not remembering conversations that never took place.

Its simple...3 places... Vaccination Exemptions (All three established.) Hours of care....(7:30am to 4pm I presume.) Cost per month with potential deposit fees, miles/distance/convenience from primary residence. Unless there are some perks/care/educational advantages that one place has over another for S1?

W: Any other information you are welcome to research on your own. I've done beyond my share already. And you're welcome btw.

H: Ok thank you for taking the time to expedite that. I appreciate you doing that. Those were my next questions, the tuition rates for XXX and XXX

I noticed XXX is a bit further and a bit more expensive. We can potty train S1 jointly. No need for it in child care.  Please let me know how you feel about your experience and advantages/disadvantages tomorrow after your tours.

H: Oh by the way that's $3,500.00 that I fronted of you for the mortgage and utilities for this month. Even though it was an equal exchange for next month. That was my security deposit for an apartment. You're welcome too by the way.

W: I said thank you for that already, but thanks again.

So I get home after GAL last night. Appraisal was Weds. (No mention of it from W.) Im setting up a new trampoline I got for S1. We both apologised for being snickity in email after I asked for an apology, was having fun with S1 on trampoline. I inquire how appraisal went and status of refi. She's still waiting on it, then goes to inform me that BIL has job interview locally next week, wants to know if he could sleep over, and if I could get a move on in getting a few of my things out of the basement (Most of stuff is hers except books of mine and couches.) So she can move him in two weeks if he gets the job interview. He's recently divorced after a year, and moving from Pittsburgh to help W, MIL, and FIL with Cancer and Dementia, which I totally understand. I haven't seen BIL since Christmas since him and his XW stayed over. Normally I'd be totally cool with him staying there and hanging out with him but since our separation, and him and other BIL putting hands on my work in home, ripping out my electrical, I'm not comfortable with it. I stated to W I'm not comfortable with him living in home until I move out. But even though she's an equal shareholder in the house so am I and I'm not comfortable with it. Already too much tension and awkwardness.

I refuse to play the victim role but, lately I've taken on the mindset of where I am to a point where so many lines have been crossed, and even though it's my own perception of my own feelings and I need to deal with them. There's been so much inconsideration, lack of communication, blaming, push for her agenda on her part, that I am treated like a stranger in my own home. Its disrespectful. Her actions are disrespectful. She's a phony with niceties. Even though her demeanor most of the time is amicable and pleasant, with occasional resentment and blaming. With friends like that who needs enemies? In her mind she probably doesn't like hearing the word NO when she doesn't get what she wants when she wants, and probably thinks im being difficult out of spite, when I'm just protecting myself. Is pushing her narrative to get me out of the house as soon as possible, and is even sending me emails for apartments to rent in the area like she's trying to help me out. She makes decisions without my input on joint things, sometimes tries to talk to me, but still pushes her own narritive without any consideration to my situation as a result of her actions, all while acting like she's doing me a big favor every time she executes something without my input, and think a she is "saving me the trouble." I feel like a jerk afterwards for continually stopping her, and pointing it out when she starts telling me what I should do, and how I should do it, and making decisions for me, and I try to keep it as polite as possible, but its unsolicited decisions and advice and assumption that she knows what is best for me to be rude, although unintentional.

Her story and internal narritive changes constantly. Her answers and decisions change constantly. Surprises pop up left and right every week between us. Communication is poor if none at all. Still emotionally guarded, still pushing the emotional abuse narritive. Doesn't talk about nothing but logistics, goes out of her way to ignore me. Doesn't want to reconcile, won't accept apologies, is leaning heavily towards divorce but hasn't decided until seperated. Still reading self help books on such, being single, co dependency, narcissist abuse, how to be happy. Buying more and more perfumes, Spa treatments, nails every two weeks, new see through underwear and lingerie purchases, tons of new makeup purchases, a few new revealing clothes, (All out of character from past behaviors.) Personal Feminine Lubrication products in travel bags, new revealing swimsuits, affirmations like.      " I'm committed to the process of finding the real me." over and over again 50 times daily. ( Looks like something out of The Shining, where Jack Nicholson writes all work and no play makes Jack a Dull Boy.) Is constantly glued to her phone and is constantly on Facebook Messenger for whatever reasons. I'm still kind of pisses by her recent actions, but I need to accept it for what it is and move on.

Red flags galore of someone in MLC, MLT, cheating, preparing to cheat, or wanting to cheat, and either has already had the opportunity of is looking for it. IMO Might just be my own insecurities of trivial items and even though this is no evidence of such. The treatment like im a stranger, the obsessive reality tv shows, fantasies of life after divorce, house sale, debt consolidation, rv traveling across the country with a 2 yr.old. potentially moving to Iowa ( debt that she created over $50k from.) (She slowly learning what reality is going to be like as a result of her actions.) from equity of selling home, her obsessive phone habits, her GAL, the poor communication, tit for tat, expectations of me to share responsibilities which she doesn't want to take herself, but occaisionally shows initiative, complaints about equality. (Spends tons of money on weight loss programs but never takes initiative to use them or self disciplines. She thinks the programs and the principles are going to do the work for her and has always been this way except on 3 occasions throughout M.)  lack of resolve, the occasional resentment, blaming, shaming, unwillingness to work on the M, the push for her to just get me out of the home, all the while acting like she is doing me the favor. Its so ridiculous we are permenant marking our initials on all of our food purchases for the kitchen now too. But in her mind I'm the blame for it all. I'm emotionally abusive for saying NO. For standing my ground, for protecting myself, for making decisions that are best interest of me and S1, expressing my PIV for everything. I'm an insensitive a-hole for calling her out on B.S. when it comes up. I'm defiant for not agreeing with all of her decisions which leads to her own unintended consequences. I'm the reason why she's unhappy and needs to work on herself (Which she is doing a good job of with in IC.) That I was never supportive of her. That she's the victim in all this. Wants to take accountability, but can never seem to name it from her side. The past means nothing. Yesterdays good deeds and good times mean nothing. The M means nothing, what I brought to the table means nothing, that my ideals are antiquated, that Im a chauvinist, that we are on two different mindsets and scripts. That Im holding her back in life from achieving her full potential and being happy. That she is finally standing up for herself, That if she wishes her dreams into the universe, it will eventually come true. (With some hard work of course.) Hell if I'm a chauvinist, then she must be a moderate closet unadmitted feminist. (Sorry if I keep bringing this subject up in my posts, its just the way it is, and im trying to balance my mindset from what I observe, and what is healthy from this forum.)

What I see is a woman that is a good person, that is nice, caring, thoughtful, career wise, hard worker mentally, used to be selfless, that means well, who learned to be a people pleaser from her emotionally unavailable Vietnam vet anxious semi-alcoholic father who was and is a good man as provider, did a lot of sacrificing for the family up until his recent dementia. (Apparently according to IC, her new development is she's an emotional eater because she learned to get candy every other day, with her father when she was little when he went to the liquor store for a six pack.) I see a woman who lost her "identity" when she got into a relationship with me some 12 years ago. Despite her trying to keep a PMA most of the time. I think she secretly hates herself for it. She is looking for her self worth by attempting to explore what is outside of her through experiences.

Overall she is a good woman. A very thoughtfull gift giver. She's just not for me, and not for my ideal of marriage I've realized. At least the traditional kind that I expect. Home cooked meal (not frozen trader Joe's or take out every other night.) Eating dinner at the table every night like a family instead of on the couch. Dishes done and kitchen cleaned. Good conversation instead of being lost in the smartphone or reality tv as an escape. Taking care of the home and division of labor and responsibility. Being fair and not having gender role confusion, and good communication. Teaching children good principles rather then good feelings. Attempt to understand another's POV without judgement or bias. Responsibly saving money, doing housework, building an empire, rather than chasing new novelty always going out, balance the two between money, going out, work, and working on home, balancing social affairs. Regular intimacy emotional and physical.

On my end of the street. I need to work on my anger (it comes and goes) detach further, (Its hard because everyday brings up emotions of either not caring anymore and indifference on my part and hers, or taking a step closer torwards the edge of divorce everyday. Its hard not to let their hurtful actions affect you.) I'm trying to work being assertive without being demanding or aggressive. Better organized. More thoughtful in planning which Im very slowly getting better at. Something I haven't been able to handle since co-habitation 10 years ago. Self sabotaging. My negative attitude to external circumstance.

I know the rant of this is mostly about her. I've been GAL ing with co worker and a few friends which has been somewhat good. Been doing 5 mile walks with my friend. If my move in the up coming weeks doesn't affect my free time. I think I'm going to take a mini vacation in the end of Sept. Band practice is coming up soon again. Been having a great time with the kid alone. We went hiking this weekend. He will be two next month and he's already a trailblazer and rock climbing.

Re: Story and Symptoms of WAW/MLC Part 5 [Re: IHCLACS] #2862864
08/26/19 06:01 PM
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Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,717
IH, I know to you it seems like she's not being cooperative and you are, but honestly reading this whole exchange it sounds to me like you're both equally contributing to the discord. Not a lot of listening and validating happening on your end. You just like to pick at each other.

That said, she is very clearly having financial issues and man I would get out of there as quickly as you can! How is she going to come up with the 5k to pay you the way she's burning through money? She's already in debt up to her eyeballs it sounds like. I have a feeling that money you fronted her is long gone which is why she's trying to nick you for a few hundred more. I know you're working through a mediator but do you separately have an L? I would just make quadruple sure that you can't be held out to dry on all this debt she's racking up!


Me: 58 w/ S16, D22, D25
Current R: 4 years
Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56
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Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

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