Hi Orangek, it was great to hear your update. Did I read correctly that your ex-wife has already found a new "other man" and she might be moving on from the original "other man?" If so that's crazy. I don't fully understand your son's circumstances but I truly hope you can provide him with all the love and one-on-one time he needs to better control his behavior. Sometimes I'll play with my daughter and in the middle of playing she'll start talking about a difficult situation at school or she'll talk about a problem with her teachers or other students. It only happens when she's relaxed and has my undivided attention. Perhaps by giving him some time like that you can better understand what's on his mind. I hope you and your son can heal and have much better days ahead.
It was my original intention to file a motion with the court to pause my child support until such time as she is actually paying for his care and we get him enrolled in a new daycare program. My family's advice to me was to Simply have my child support deduction shut off through my work, the concern I expressed about doing this was being found as not paying my child support by the state.
Hey O, it sounds like you are talking to your L about this before taking action and that's a good idea! There was a situation similar to this with a distant relative of mine who quit paying, and yes the court saw that as him being a deadbeat dad and took action against him even though his XW had completely checked out and was not caring for the child. So definitely go through the proper channels! Very sorry to hear your XW is pulling this, it's really unfair to your S but at least you and your parents are there for him.
I ended up filing a motion to have my child support paused or cancelled due to EXW not providing care. Waiting on court to rule on motion.
S4 has been up with my parents for 2 weeks now. EXW has called to talk to him 3 times in 2 weeks, no video chat, no requests to come visit him or make arrangements to pick him up for a day or two.
I call him daily. Send messages and video chat as often as possible. I drove the 4 ½ hours to spend the weekend with him, took Yesterday off work so I could have an extra day with him.
I have had it. I have been giving benefit of doubt that she will want to actually parent.
His behavior has improved 10 fold since being with my parents.
She has no bedroom for him. Hasn’t taken him to a single Dr apt or dentist or mental health apt since we split up in Oct of 2017.
Shes still getting my child support money and isn’t even paying for a single facet of S4’s care.
She has introduced him to 2 romantic partners in 1.5 years, and has family and boyfriends do more of the pickups and care for S4 than she does.
She lies to me about our childs whereabouts, behavior and her intentions on caring for him.
Enough enough. I Am going to be petitioning for temporary full guardianship or full custody.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
I ended up filing a motion to have my child support paused or cancelled due to EXW not providing care. Waiting on court to rule on motion.
S4 has been up with my parents for 2 weeks now. EXW has called to talk to him 3 times in 2 weeks, no video chat, no requests to come visit him or make arrangements to pick him up for a day or two.
I call him daily. Send messages and video chat as often as possible. I drove the 4 ½ hours to spend the weekend with him, took Yesterday off work so I could have an extra day with him.
I have had it. I have been giving benefit of doubt that she will want to actually parent.
His behavior has improved 10 fold since being with my parents.
She has no bedroom for him. Hasn’t taken him to a single Dr apt or dentist or mental health apt since we split up in Oct of 2017.
Shes still getting my child support money and isn’t even paying for a single facet of S4’s care.
She has introduced him to 2 romantic partners in 1.5 years, and has family and boyfriends do more of the pickups and care for S4 than she does.
She lies to me about our childs whereabouts, behavior and her intentions on caring for him.
Enough enough. I Am going to be petitioning for temporary full guardianship or full custody.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
It's good to hear you're hanging in there. I hope you'll get full custody. That would be a major victory for you and a lifesaver for your son. Please keep us posted!
Just wondering how things were going, Orange. Hope all is well and you get the child support and custody things figured out...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
