So I am talking to 2 really nice guys right now and meeting up with 1 in the near future. After several days of texting, one of the guys commented on how nice my pics were and now I’m just hoping they are accurate. I love the compliments and flirting though and I know how little meaning it should have when you haven’t even met the person. I’m conscious of love bombing though. And I wonder if he’s a bit too into me before meeting. The other guy is someone that raised his kid on his own and I love that he’s a teacher and coach and seems to love kids and parenting.
All in all, I’m just surprised at how nice and friendly and forthcoming guys can be. I tend to be more reserved and distant. Probably because of ex husband.
I also know I can’t jump into anything exclusive in the beginning which is my tendency. My other tendency is to go for guys using logic instead of chemistry. And that logic has not worked out for me in the past. The texting is definitely adding chemistry though and my LL is words of affirmation. Which guy 1 is good at.
I’ll keep everyone updated.
Ginger that doesn’t surprise me. Some men write such creepy things! Too bad that guy didn’t show what he was about prior to meeting up with him.
Last edited by job; 06/11/1908:33 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread
J - I read something once that essentially said a 10 on chemistry and a 0 on compatibility is going to be a bad marriage while a 6 or 7 on chemistry but a 10 on compatibility equals a happy marriage. If you can find a 10 on both how perfect would that be! I also think chemistry can grow over time the more you get to know someone as well.
Sounds like good things are happening. Just relax, enjoy, stay on your toes and trust your gut. I wish you success and happiness.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
The thing is, I never go for chemistry. I’m so logical. I have always gone for what I saw was safe.- but I was dead wrong each and every time. I would always tell people when I was lonely or depressed with ex husband, “he’s very loyal. I know he will never cheat. And he’s very responsible”. I remember my best friend asking me before we got married “are you sure you want to do this. I think your both together because there’s no reason to break up”
It took me 4 dates to kiss ex bf because I had to wait for the chemistry to grow. And it only came when I had poured my heart out to him about my divorce. That’s really bad too. He was arrogant and rude. But I wasn’t emotionally stable and that wasn’t fair to him either. I was with him cause I felt like he was a sure thing and wouldn’t cheat or leave.
My best friend told me she thinks I need to go for someone that I really really feel for. She said I have a personality that adapts to other people and that’s good because I do not make enemies like she does, but bad because When you can be compatible with many what prevents you from settling?
I have to say I am already feeling chemistry for one of the guys. I love his pictures and how he talks to me. (Really respectful and a good communicator) neither of us have talked about our past marriages or kids. And it’s light and fun. And he makes me feel good with the compliments. I can’t wait to meet him. And I know I’m setting myself up for disappointment or maybe he won’t like me in person. Or maybe he cheated on his ex wife. . But he keeps telling me how excited he is to meet me and I feel really good about this too. It’s a different feeling. And ridiculous to have. I know that.
Coffee date! It's not really a date, it's a "coffee meet". Low key way to find out if the person is a creep or totally not what you thought or if they are actually dateable.
(All that being said, I did once drive 11 hours for a first date with a guy I had been talking to on the internet for 3 months and it worked out ok - as in, we dated for almost a year until his old high school girlfriend found him, and we've remained friends ever since.)
But I've definitely "met" people online who sounded good but were definitely not for me once we met in person so keep that first meet low key, not a full-fledged date.
Maybe you need one of those dates that just have chemistry. Maybe it won’t be the man who becomes your husband, or who knows, maybe it will, but I think it’s an experience you should hVe. Leave your logic behind for once. Have some fun. You may find out you like it!
We will be doing a coffee date. And I’m calming down. I don’t know if this is the right guy but when I googled he might have lied about his age. Ok. I have to be really careful.
Yeah texting is overrated, use it to get a comfort level and that's it. Meet as soon as you can. You can also try some Internet searches on Facebook, LinkedIn, Google, etc. to get more information or to see more pictures.
And I know I’m setting myself up for disappointment or maybe he won’t like me in person. Or maybe he cheated on his ex wife.
Hi Juju... You should watch Brene Brown's TED talk on vulnerability. I have been thinking a lot myself lately about why I insert negative thoughts (like above) into potentially good/great situations. I catch myself now... and say stop it Pinn! Let it flow. Certainly be careful but let those negative thoughts go. Enjoy the date. No matter what it is an experience.
