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Originally Posted by Maika
Rising early has been a game changer for me. It allows me to workout, meditate, read some, and get ready for the day. Some of the other easier things to do - sharpen up your closet; look good everyday - this makes a marked difference in your confidence. These outer measures are just the quick ones you can do but the major work is the internal work you need to do. No wardrobe is going to fix your insecurities and emotional health issues. You need to tackle them.

I will say this and I will die by it - improving my emotional health made ALL the difference in every part of my life. Go and fight your demons and do the hard work. It is not glamorous and quite painful. But doing that will get you to a better place. Also, physical activity of any kind is a must - unless you are absolutely unable to do it. Getting your body moving is so important to get your mind right.


Maika, Thank you for the feedback! So clear and concise and simple, it gave me some clarity and uplifted my spirits today after a tough weekend.

One question as I'm not completely familiar with the history of your sitch: What did you do specifically for improving your emotional health (not GAL or physical health)? I realize that my long-term happiness hinges on my ability to improve my emotional health, and that I am really struggling in this area. I have a TON of work to do.

Right now the things I am doing specifically for my emotional health are mostly IC and reading a lot of self-help books (plus being active on this forum). Also reaching out to friends much more than I had in the past (not necessarily revealing what is going on, just touching base). I should mention I have a particularly strained relationship with my parents and sister at the moment, so family of origin is not a source of support.

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Please start a new thread and link the two threads together.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Originally Posted by Maika

2. Don't go to MC unless you both explicitly agree prior to it that it is to work on the MR. If she's using MC to break the news, then it's just a way to softly break the news to you. Don't do that.


What do you do if your W says that she wants MC to work on the MR, but doesn't know if it can be fixed? I always get the sense that she is just trying to break the news to me softly, but I have to admit that I am completely paranoid now.

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