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Had a great ski trip with my s12...it was a blast. Even though we do a on of stuff together, it seemed like we got even closer and that is an awesome feeling.

I'm heading out in a bit for a long weekend for a Men's ACTS retreat. It is incredible to be a part of sharing the love of Christ with a group of men that are hungry to see what God has in store for them. Please pray that all goes well.

I am keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
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Hello my friend.....

Hope you have a wonderful retreat . As always take care of yourself.

SKM

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SBJ

Have an awesome retreat

And thank you for your prayers

I am having a hard time praying these days

So I truly appreciate yours


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
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Sorry so long for the reply.

SKM...long time no hear. Thanks for the well wishes.

Gord, I understand your trouble, but prayer is really only a conversation with God. I talk to him daily and try and give thanks and praise for something each day. Even if it is just for making it from sun up to sun down that is a blessing. Anything else is the cherry on top.

The retreat went great. I feel my attitude lightening. I heard something today that hit home. God answers all of our prayers, even if it's not what we imagined. There was a video on YT about 3 trees in the forest and their dreams. Good stuff. I can post a link if ppl ask.

Have a great weekend. Now I'm off on a scout camp out with the youngest. God is good...all the time!


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 875
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Journaling:

The ex was an animal lover for sure. We have had dogs, cats, birds, and she has also nursed squirrels that have lost their mothers. When she left she also left all of her animals with me. It is very ironic since I didn't want any animals at all.

Today, my s21 and I had to have our two oldest put to sleep. One of them (17 yo) was deaf, blind, has dementia and had an issue finding his way to go outside before letting go. We were just making the best out of it because the vet said that if we put him down then his life partner would probably go soon. The other (16 yo) has been ok, but over the last week had not been eating and drinking as much. Saturday she laid down and has been immobile. They were really close to my son, so he and I made the decision to go this morning.

Even though it was very difficult, I was very proud of how he handled himself. Afterwards, he said he didn't know how people could just drop their animals off and not sit with them when they are put to sleep. He has such a kind heart.


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,654
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Wow that's pretty old for dogs. Although I am sure it was definitely the right thing to do for their sakes, it cannot have been easy for your son, considering they have been there practically all of his life. I am glad he took it in his stride. He sounds like a good lad.

I am glad your retreat went well.

I find it funny, well not funny funny, more interesting, that we could hear something several times but then all of a sudden we hear it and we really hear it. It resonates with us. I am sure you have already heard about God answering prayers but not always as we imagine. But it hit home for some reason the other day. Maybe we have to be open to hear a message or maybe it is just what we needed at a specific time. Either way it is curious, don't you think? That reminds me of a Garth Brooks song which states that some of Gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.

Most people who come to this site don't save their M. However most people that come here, find something else which I believe is not negligible. It is something positive out of the negative. It provides a community to help healing, growth, understanding and along the way most find happiness.

A message we hear often is about saving ourselves before saving our M, or saving our selves becoming the important thing whereas in the beginning it was all about the M. Most people, me included, didn't realize just how lost they were before BD. It is an eyeopener and can indeed lead to a better more fulfilling life.

Sorry for the ramble. Glad to hear from you.

Best wishes


R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together
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so sorry to read about your pets S ... they were lucky to have both you and your son.

Yes, my ex also left me with the pets he insisted we get. I think they tend to do that. Apparently when they reconnect with the pets we're supposed to take that as a sign they are coming through the tunnel.

Hope you had a blessed Easter with family and friends and you're doing well. xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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SBJ

Thanks for the encouragement.

Glad you and your son were there for each other.

Happy Easter!


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 875
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Bday dinner for my D17 and I overheard the ex and MIL discussing the OM and his kids. I guess I'm still attached because that was a swift kick in the b@!!$. The hurt is extreme, but I guess there's nothing I can do about it. Time to get moving on down the road. Almost 3years post BD. Prayer hasn't worked to shorten this darn extended marathon.


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
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SBJ, there would be something very wrong with you if that didn't hurt you extremely.

You have moved down the road. There is nothing wrong with you.

There is something wrong with W. There is something wrong with OM. There is even something wrong with MIL if she was talking about that in front of you.

There is nothing wrong with a man who still loves his W despite all that she did. That is a man I deeply admire.

Same thing I said to Tad -- your heart is made of flesh. Your W let the stone calcify over hers. It's your cross to bear, having to hurt, but you want a heart of flesh, and that's the cost.

Here's a prayer I love. I hope it will help you.


From the belief that
I have to earn Your love 
Deliver me, God.

From the fear that I am unlovable Deliver me, God.

From the false security
 that I have what it takes 
Deliver me, God.

From the fear that trusting You
will leave me more destitute
Deliver me, God.

From all suspicion of
Your words and promises
Deliver me, God.

From the rebellion against
childlike dependency on You Deliver me, God.

From refusals and reluctances
in accepting Your will
Deliver me, God.

From anxiety about the future Deliver me, God.

From resentment or excessive preoccupation with the past
Deliver me, God.

From restless self-seeking
in the present moment
Deliver me, God.

From disbelief in Your love
and presence
Deliver me, God.

From the fear of being asked
to give more than I have
Deliver me, God.

From the belief that my life
has no meaning or worth
Deliver me, God.

From the fear of what love demands Deliver me, God.

From discouragement
Deliver me, God.
That You are continually holding me sustaining me, loving me
God, I trust in you.

That Your love goes deeper than my sins and failings, and transforms me God, I trust in you.
That not knowing what tomorrow brings is an invitation to lean on You God, I trust in you.

That you are with me in my suffering God, I trust in you.
That my suffering, united to Your own, will bear fruit in this life and the next God, I trust in you.

That You will not leave me orphan, that You are present in Your Church God, I trust in you.
That Your plan is better
than anything else
God, I trust in you.

That You always hear me and in
Your goodness always respond to me God, I trust in you.
That You give me the grace to accept forgiveness and to forgive others God, I trust in you.

That You give me all the strength I need for what is asked God, I trust in you.
That my life is a gift God, I trust in you.
That You will teach me to trust You God, I trust in you.
That I am Your beloved one God, I trust in you.


I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
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