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A Message from Michele
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Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2859509
07/30/19 06:56 PM
07/30/19 06:56 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,792
M
Maika Offline OP
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Maika  Offline OP
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M
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,792
I don't HAVE to be in this school district. The elementary school in that district is one of the top in the city and my experience with them has been amazing. Because we moved so much, we had to shuffle the kids schools (especially my son as he was older), and we had some crappy experiences with some of the schools. We bought the house specifically so that the kids could go to this school.

I am really hesitant to move them out to a different school because from all of the chaos that has happened over the last 2 years, this school has been the foundational rock for the kids. The teachers are quite amazing and the kids really love being there. Changes have been hard on them and with my son having been in like 4 schools already in his life, having found a great stable school environment for him has been really positive.

The neighborhood is generally more well-off financially, but there are a couple of pockets like the building I live in which has more middle-class and lower income families. This kinda evens out things at school and I haven't seen kids there being too flashy or have a rich kid snotty attitude. I am sure there are a few kids like that but the overall tenor of the school is very down to earth and friendly.

My son has three years before he moves to middle school and my daughter has five years. If I can secure some kinda housing that is bit better than right now, I'll be fine. I am looking into it to see what I can do. Part of this is me just increasing my income and seeing what I can rent that won't kill my finances.

There is another school nearby that is quite decent as well and I wish we had bought the house in that district. At least I would've had more options and would be able to keep the continuity for the kids. I do have some time so it's not like I need to find a new place by next month, but by next summer would be ideal.


No one is coming to save you!

Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2859650
07/31/19 06:48 PM
07/31/19 06:48 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,792
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Maika Offline OP
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Maika  Offline OP
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M
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,792
exW messaged me about being in the final process of closing on a house. Surprisingly, I didn't feel anything in terms of an emotional reaction. I think having that reaction earlier and getting past it made me deal with the news pretty well.

Thinking through the process of what I want to achieve with my kids over the next few years and what my priorities are made have better perspective on it. I just need to roll on with my life and make it the best I can with the kiddos.

I am making some professional moves and applying for better positions with better income - making that my main goal so I can get my finances in order and be in a better place for me and the kids. Also, I want to have a place I can invite people over, and dates potentially, and the current situation doesn't really allow for that.

All in all, things are good and I am hoping to get to a stronger place by the end of the year.


No one is coming to save you!

Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2859651
07/31/19 06:56 PM
07/31/19 06:56 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,005
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TBSakaJ9 Offline
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Posts: 4,005
M - I think what I have learned most through this process is that you have to feel good about yourself. You have to be happy with yourself and feeling confident.

IMO when you get to that point you will no longer be concerned about your XW and what she is or is not doing.

You have overcome a lot since BD and I know you will overcome this as well. Your focus is exactly where it should be!

Keep trucking!!


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2859742
08/01/19 04:11 PM
08/01/19 04:11 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,792
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Maika Offline OP
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Maika  Offline OP
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M
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,792
Yeh J - You're right on the money on that one. I let my internal work slip a bit last 10 months because I got injured and that put a damper on everything on top of what was going on. Kinda back to full swing of things now and making good progress. I am just trying to be my best self and be happy with who I am. I know the improvements I am working on, but I am trying to shut out all the outside noise that is making me feel like I am not doing enough.

what XW is doing is just so absurd from my perspective, but I hope it works out. Blending families and now buying a house together in six months is just bananas. With what I know of her bf's backstory, I don't know if he's done much internal work either and this just screams desperation and co-dependency to me. Oh well! It's their mess to deal with.
I just don't understand how either of them think these are good decisions. But, all I am watching is how kids are doing and being the stable rock for them in all of this madness.


No one is coming to save you!

Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2859746
08/01/19 04:31 PM
08/01/19 04:31 PM
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,228
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DejaVu6 Offline
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Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,228
I have the exact same thing going on in my sitch Maika...desperation and co-dependency. Yes...that's it exactly. I, too, hope it works out...for my kids' sake. I could care less about the two of them. They deserve each other as far as I am concerned. Glad you are back to working on you and being happy. (((HUGS)))


Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
SD19
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018

Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2859777
08/01/19 06:03 PM
08/01/19 06:03 PM
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 1,936
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neffer Offline
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Your own inner light is showing you the way M!. You are who you are. And that´s all you need!

((((M))))


WW H(me): 49
W: 44
T: 24 M: 19
S: 14
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2859895
08/02/19 02:32 PM
08/02/19 02:32 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,792
M
Maika Offline OP
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Maika  Offline OP
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M
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,792
Thanks folks! Yeah I am back to taking better care of my mental and emotional health and loving life. ((HUGS))


No one is coming to save you!

Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2859920
08/02/19 05:43 PM
08/02/19 05:43 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,005
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TBSakaJ9 Offline
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TBSakaJ9  Offline
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Good for you M......that is where you will make the most strides! Don't forget to chat it up with the ladies...………..


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2863867
09/03/19 02:11 PM
09/03/19 02:11 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,792
M
Maika Offline OP
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Maika  Offline OP
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M
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,792
Quick update - submitted all the D paperwork and now it's just a waiting game. Usually it gets all sealed up in a month and hopefully by the end of this month, I will be D'd. Yeaaay! I know weird thing to feel this way but it will be a good final mental and emotional break.


No one is coming to save you!

Re: Goin' Solo! [Re: Maika] #2864188
09/05/19 04:08 PM
09/05/19 04:08 PM
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 1,936
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neffer Offline
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neffer  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 1,936
Good for you my dear friend. Keep moving forward, always shining bright.

Hugs for you and the kids

(((M)))


WW H(me): 49
W: 44
T: 24 M: 19
S: 14
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
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