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JR,

What I mean is right now I am happy with my life and nothing my ex does effects me in any way. If in the future we reconcile it will be because I choose to and will be under the terms I lay out.

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Originally Posted by JimmyRig
If i'm invited to her parents for Easter dinner should I go?
I have to go there to drop the boys off from a easter egg hunt thing.


Sounds like it's more of a kid thing so personally I would go if you get asked. But don't invite yourself. Don't ask your W on dates, and don't be too available to her if she asks you to do things or go to dinner or whatever. But when it comes to kid activities it's different because you can focus on the kids rather than W.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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And when she gets pissed that I'm not willing to split time in the house let her get pissed and stand my ground?
She says she wants the boys to be stable in their own house and right now she is down the street at the inlaws while her lung issue heals and the boys are able to stay here some night and there some nights bc of my work schedule.

Splitting time would put me a half hour further from friends, work, and the boys.

So we'll see but my lawyer says stay put.


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Originally Posted by JimmyRig
And when she gets pissed that I'm not willing to split time in the house let her get pissed and stand my ground?


Yes. You can't placate her right now. Just rolling over and giving her everything she wants is going to make her have even less respect for you. Don't let her decision to end the marriage inconvenience you any more than it has to.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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Funny it sounds like to me, she is still operating under the dynamic that she is still your W from all the raging because of her not getting her way with personal time/ time away from the kids. Think about that? She wants to get out and party more and be sociable, but at the same time, out of retaliation, she wants to go full custody? That makes total sense....lol... More me time, but more kid time makes total sense in their world.

Mine has similar complaints. Just ignore it, and ignore her, but do set a boundary, and make her aware of it CAMLY about scheduling conflicts if she yells. Don't treat her as your W anymore, and don't allow her to treat you as a H. She fired you from that position. Remember? It's resentmrnt spewing out of her. Do what's best for you and what makes you happy, Go and GAL, but be fair in scheduling.

Last edited by IHCLACS; 04/19/19 03:50 PM.
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What about family or friends that she might have or did tell of her intentions or thoughts of the D?

Dont ask her anything of who she told? Act as if? And keep on keeping on?

Just trying to keep my head straight.

As always, thanks.


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What if there was an affair?

Should I ask and tell her that I don't think it is a deal breaker and I believe we can work through it? Or wait until I receive papers and then ask and tell?

Thoughts?

Thank
Jimmy


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JR,

There is a 95% chance there is an affair. You definitely don’t want to indicate you can work through it because right now she doesn’t want to work through it.

Keep moving forward and make all decisions based on what’s good for you and the kids.

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Thanks

LH


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Originally Posted by JimmyRig
Should I ask and tell her that I don't think it is a deal breaker and I believe we can work through it? Or wait until I receive papers and then ask and tell?
This is not something you discuss. If you do not want to share your wife with other men, you set a boundary. If you are ok with other men being with your wife, then there is nothing to discuss.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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