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A Message from Michele
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Re: LBS script and Flying on instruments [Re: JimmyRig] #2845730
04/16/19 02:27 PM
04/16/19 02:27 PM
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
J
JimmyRig Offline OP
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JimmyRig  Offline OP
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J
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
How can I try to get her to do a phone consultation or even see if she did do something I feel like I might be able to work thru it and forgive?

Or do I just sit, be my best and wait for papers?


Me. 46
Her 37

Years together 10
Married 7.5

Kids 4 and 6
Re: LBS script and Flying on instruments [Re: JimmyRig] #2845735
04/16/19 03:15 PM
04/16/19 03:15 PM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,577
A
AnotherStander Offline
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AnotherStander  Offline
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A
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,577
Originally Posted by JimmyRig
She is out of work for another week or two and plays Words with friends with me non-stop yet Friday night at her moms house watching movies with the boys she texts me b4 coming over to not sit next to her or think we are a couple bc this is unfixable.


They all say stuff like that. That's a reflection of how she feels right now, but it may very well change down the road.

Quote
She also mentioned that when she heals she would like to move back into our house but only if i'm gone or we split the week where she would go to her parents house which is close and I would go to my parents which is a half an hour further away from work and friends.


That should be a big fat NO from you. Why should YOU be inconvenienced because SHE wants to split up. You are having to go through enough as it is, she's going to have to deal with the headaches of finding another place and all that.

Quote
How can I try to get her to do a phone consultation or even see if she did do something I feel like I might be able to work thru it and forgive?


Do not try to make her do any kind of counseling, it never works. If you mean a phone consultation with a DB coach then that is for you, not for her.


Me: 58 w/ S16, D22, D25
Current R: 4 years
Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56
Re: LBS script and Flying on instruments [Re: JimmyRig] #2845737
04/16/19 03:50 PM
04/16/19 03:50 PM
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
J
JimmyRig Offline OP
Member
JimmyRig  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
I did say no to the moving out and plus her parents live so close and 10-4 on the DB counseling.

Thanks


Me. 46
Her 37

Years together 10
Married 7.5

Kids 4 and 6
Re: LBS script and Flying on instruments [Re: JimmyRig] #2845741
04/16/19 05:06 PM
04/16/19 05:06 PM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,070
Colorado
R
Ready2Change Online
Member
Ready2Change  Online
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,070
Colorado


Hi Jimmy,

Where there is smoke there is fire. You have seen the smoke, no need to confirm the flames. Go looking for the flames and you will get burned. No need to get burned.

The smoke:
" Signal App" and "T'was a little awkward"


It is important for you to "act as if" you have seen the flames (confirmed A).


You are to become Alpha Male.

You do not want to be with a woman who does not want to be with you. You do not want to share your woman with other men.

You agree that is is not working for you either.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"

Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time
Re: LBS script and Flying on instruments [Re: JimmyRig] #2845745
04/16/19 05:28 PM
04/16/19 05:28 PM
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 117
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gzabetas Offline
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gzabetas  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 117
Great reply Ready2Change.

And AnotherStander as well further up.

Keep up the good work guys, as many of us read these post replies and it pertains to us as well.

Sometimes I with there was a AnotherStander a Ready2Change, a Steve85, LH19, Ihcacls etc (and more, sorry I forget) wired in my head especially at night when I get the most anxious..


B.D in December 2018
Physical Affairs discovered in April 2019
Divorced May 2019
H (me) 49
W (her) 29
Re: LBS script and Flying on instruments [Re: JimmyRig] #2845751
04/16/19 05:59 PM
04/16/19 05:59 PM
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 1,947
N
neffer Offline
Member
neffer  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 1,947
"If you’re depressed, you’re living in the past.
If you’re anxious, you’re living in the future.
If you’re content, you’re living in the present."

I got that from DnJ´s posts.

Live the present, face reality. Cool, calm, collected.
Time and patience are key factors.

Keep DB


WW H(me): 49
W: 44
T: 24 M: 19
S: 14
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
Re: LBS script and Flying on instruments [Re: gzabetas] #2845752
04/16/19 06:03 PM
04/16/19 06:03 PM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,577
A
AnotherStander Offline
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AnotherStander  Offline
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A
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,577
Originally Posted by gzabetas
Sometimes I with there was a AnotherStander a Ready2Change, a Steve85, LH19, Ihcacls etc (and more, sorry I forget) wired in my head especially at night when I get the most anxious..


LOL! The only difference between you and the "vets" is time. You'll get there. Believe me I spent a lot of sleepless nights myself after BD, tossing around all lost and confused, mind racing a thousand miles an hour. I think more than anything I come here just so you and others know you WILL be OK, and even awesome :-) I was as low and lost and despondent as anyone here, and I don't have any special superpowers that got me to where I am now. If I can do it then anyone can do it, I really do believe that.


Me: 58 w/ S16, D22, D25
Current R: 4 years
Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56
Re: LBS script and Flying on instruments [Re: gzabetas] #2845769
04/16/19 07:16 PM
04/16/19 07:16 PM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,070
Colorado
R
Ready2Change Online
Member
Ready2Change  Online
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,070
Colorado
Originally Posted by gzabetas
Great reply Ready2Change.

And AnotherStander as well further up.

Keep up the good work guys, as many of us read these post replies and it pertains to us as well.

Sometimes I wish there was a AnotherStander a Ready2Change, a Steve85, LH19, Ihcacls etc (and more, sorry I forget) wired in my head especially at night when I get the most anxious..
OMG, I would have so much fun.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"

Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time
Re: LBS script and Flying on instruments [Re: JimmyRig] #2845774
04/16/19 07:41 PM
04/16/19 07:41 PM
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 117
G
gzabetas Offline
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gzabetas  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 117
Thanks again guys. You guys coming back here to offer that time gained wisdom is gold for us. And you do it on your own. Thats a rare exception these days.

I am located here in Greece and I have read many of your responses as a sort of "scripture" to my sister who is consoling me these days and we have these 'a-ha' moments.

I dont know, but I wish my psychologist could be half as good as you are. I write down all these notes to get his insight, and his response is so generic and flat. Nothing like the expertise here. Only difference he is 3 dimensional.

For instance I read a great description of MLC by DnJ yesterday on the MLC forum which was so spot on it was crazy.





Thanks again!!


B.D in December 2018
Physical Affairs discovered in April 2019
Divorced May 2019
H (me) 49
W (her) 29
Re: LBS script and Flying on instruments [Re: JimmyRig] #2845925
04/18/19 01:45 AM
04/18/19 01:45 AM
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
J
JimmyRig Offline OP
Member
JimmyRig  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
How many have heard and how many times has it been heard "let me tell you the marriage is over, I dont mean to hurt you but........"

Go. And of course please add some of the always awesome guidance and wisdom bc once again I feel like I'm circling the drain. grrŕrrrree.


Me. 46
Her 37

Years together 10
Married 7.5

Kids 4 and 6
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