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Sara79 Offline OP
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My H informed me that he and the ow he left me for in January will be getting married in in a few weeks. Her 4th marriage and his 3. Do individuals in limerence often marry the other ow?

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(((Sara79))) I’m no expert but I think it probably happens a lot. Sorry to hear this Sara but at least your path is very clear now. My STBXH got engaged sometime earlier this year but was too much of a coward to tell me himself. SHE told me in a text after we accidentally texted each other (long story not worth getting into). I suspect it was in March when they went to Hawaii and he tried to make me believe he was going skiing with his buddy right up until I challenged him to be a man and stop lying. Old habits die hard. He is no different so she will be marrying a broken man next July. When she told me, surprisingly, it was just a blip in my day. Once you really accept your circumstances and make the decision to drop the rope, it is almost shocking how quickly it happens. (((HUGS)))

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Sara79 Offline OP
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I was just wondering how common it is. I gave up on him when he said he wanted out. I just never realised how stupid he really is I guess. I'm sure they will enjoy a long happy marriage wink

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Ah yes... I totally get that. I think my H just had to go all in so that he could justify in his mind and, he thinks, legitimize his actions in the eyes of others. Little does he know people just see him as a walking, talking cliche and a fool of epic proportions. No longer my concern. I protected him from himself for years. Someone else’s turn now. A long and happy marriage? I doubt it. Neither of our H’s have done the work. Sooner or later there will be nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. You and I will be long gone and living much, much better lives by then. Cheers to dropping the rope and making better futures for ourselves. (((HUGS)))

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Sara79 Offline OP
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Thank you so much, your so sweet. I do think about when he hits rick bottom and runs back to us, I pray I’m not stupid and try to help him as I have before.

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Just keep moving forward Sara. If and when that time comes, you will be able to make your decisions based on your needs and wants and not on his. There is a great life out there waiting for you. Be thankful he is no longer holding you back from finding it. (((HUGS)))

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I need some words of wisdom or encouragement. My middle son was in the hospital this week because seizures. He’s always been completely healthy before this. So I’m taking him to the Er and then to a children’s hospital 1 1/2 hrs away. I keep my ex informed of everything. But he never offered to come to the hospitals or to stay with our other 2 children at home. Then he informs me his soon to be wife, getting married this month. He’s only left in January. She is in the hospital with an infection. He crying on the phone. I’m so sad and hurt, I hate that it’s hit me again I was doing good. I don’t want to do this alone he should be here not with her. And I know I’m better off with him gone but I’m exhausted and need someone to tell me it’s going to be ok. It hurts so much that he doesn’t care about me.

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Quote
Then he informs me his soon to be wife, getting married this month


What does this mean?

I'd stop informing him, it doesn't seem like he cares. And it just sets you back. Take care of yourself bc if you keep trying to take care of him you will keep getting hurt. He wants and needs the attention from you. It fuels a dark place in his psyche. Let him go for both of your sakes.


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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Sara79 Offline OP
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The woman he left us for whom he’s marrying this month, was also in the hospital.

He is the father of the children, I have to tell him if I’m taking them to the ER. I don’t communicate with him, only when it’s about the children and a must

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So here's an update, almost exactly a year to date of when my husband walked out he said he made the biggest mistake of his life and missed his family. He was just married in August to the woman he left us for and moved her and two of her children into our home that he kicked me and his children out of. He asked why I was so nice to him after all he had done to me. After talking he said he didn't realize how bad he hurt me (duh). He has started going to church with us and is seeing a christian counselor and is going to a men's group from church. Just wanted to share how things have changed. I was told when I was over him and content with myself he'd come back and that's the truth. Not so sure I want him though!

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