First court hearing was yesterday and it went very well for me, the judge admonished my W and her L for not meeting with us before coming to court. He said that we should not be in court at this time as we should have negotiated before we got there, we have five seperate correspondences asking to meet including our trip to their office where they then called it off.
The judge ruled there will be no Alimony/Maintenance in this case and was baffled that W's L didnt fully explain to her why. There were some brief discussions with the L's and the only thing left is the house needs to be appraised and if I can afford it I will buy her out. W was quite upset the entire time face was swollen teary eyed. I made no eye contact and no attempt to speak with her. She came over to me to hand me a document for tax purposes,she said do you and the kids need this I said no. She has it in front of my face and says are you going to take it I say no. She says just take it, as I go to take it she pulls it away like a child and walks away. Like water off a ducks back, I do not have a care in the world!
I guess when you think the judge is going to rule that you get $1800 a month and find out you get 0 you may get a little upset. Oh well, my journey has started and it doesnt include W.
Judge also ruled W owes for back child support and must start paying immediately. More tears, more not understanding... sorry, did you know that D has consequences...
I left the court house feeling incredible, almost vindicated that there is justice in the world.
I will update GAL activities prob tomorrow, as I am off to a UFC party.
To any newbie on here reading this... especially men... you kick your cheating spouse straight to the curb, lovingly of course lol
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
Hello all, its been a while since i have updated thought I would share...
I have been reading all the new threads and sorry to see the same old script.
My GAL has been incredible, roller blading, running, social club, darts... etc. etc. New people in my life and re-establish old frienships that seemingly were lost while I was married. I am closer to my children then I have ever been, and we are actually acting like a family. Helping each other and they are now respecting my boundries, there was a time when W would bad mouth me to the children and over the years it kind of wore them out. They only now can see through her BS. I have not spoken one bad word about their mother to them or anyone else... I am so thankful for this site. Keeping ones mouth shut is the first thing all of us should do.
Court was on Monday as W is fighting for alimony that was already ruled on that there is none. She attempted to fight it and was struck down again. Now before I get into the court case there has been some interesting acts from her...
Right before the lawyers were to meet with the judge my Lawyer comes to me and says, Your W wants me to pass a message along that she doesnt like the fact that you both dont talk anymore and she was hoping you could start communicating again. L then says this is a first for me as she has never been asked by the opposing council and client to do this. I said Ok I have a response you can take back to her: W you are the most meaningless person on this earth to me!!!! My L starts laughing and says you are an ahole... She says I will not go back with that... I said ok then go back with nothing.
I have now scheduled an appraisal for the house and may buy her out bc there will be no alimony. My parents have offered to help with this. I will wait to see all the numbers to see if its worth it, my children of course are pushing for me to buy the house and even offered to pay me rent.
My two sons do not have any relationship with their mother and did not acknowledge mother day. I was not happy about this but I did just mind my own business. Its their choice, they are a bit angry with her.
Oh well, just got done cooking dinner.... will update again soon...btw BD was nearly two years ago and i am still married.... unreal!
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
Good to hear! I haven't been around for awhile. Glad to hear things are working out for you. My sitch has started to turn around too. It's amazing how much clearer you see things and how much happier you can be once you get through the nonsense and really commit to BD'ing. Keep enjoying life!...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Good to hear! I haven't been around for awhile. Glad to hear things are working out for you. My sitch has started to turn around too. It's amazing how much clearer you see things and how much happier you can be once you get through the nonsense and really commit to BD'ing. Keep enjoying life!...
Thank you MTB, Getting through the nonsense is the hard part bc everyone (including me) thinks our sitch's are unique. They are not, the script is so close you would think they buy it from a store.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
Great to hear an update BH! sounds like you're doing more than fine and loving life. Ain't that the secret sauce
Thank you Maika, two years later and I am still on paper married. I needed to make some changes and did, things are really going well for me, I am blessed in life.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
Hello all, could use some advice on how to proceed.
Had meeting with W and two L's on Monday to discuss buyout options. It didnt go well as there is pretty much no way I could buy her out. The housing market is just crazy where I live. Anyway I have been given plenty of time to make my decision, so I am sitting the children down tomorrow and tell them that they will need to find apartments and S22 has indicated that he wants to take the dog.
Now here is the perplexing part, as we are dicussing the buyout W's attorney says to me that she would like for W and I to start to communicate again and W doesnt like the fact that we dont talk. Once again i am just dumbfounded, I am thinking really, its only been two years, she could text me if she wants. So my response was... there is nothing to talk about we are here and we are almost done and when its done we dont need to talk ever again. She and my attorney then both say you guys should start to be friendly and its starts with talking... you both have kids together and your W is not happy about there not being communication. I stop everything and say that you are my L and not a therapist we are way past communicating. I am done now lets get back to negotiating the buyout.
I just cant anymore the stress this woman has put our family through and to use the L's to still try and upset me is quite ridiculous.
Any have any thoughts on how to proceed?
Oh yea after their first proposal I said absolutley not and they dropped the propsal by 20K. I still cant afford the house but still just more craziness!
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
I agree with your lawyers that you guys have kids and need to communicate regarding the kids only. I guess I’m a little confused. You seem to be enjoying your new life right now, why do you refuse to communicate? You need to show maturity and set a good example for your children.
