Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 9 of 11 1 2 7 8 9 10 11
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 94
S
sia Offline
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 94
LW, this was such a great update. What we fail to realize in the thick of things is that our failed MR is just one facet of our life not working out well, there are so many other blessings in all our lives. Your S is doing so well, your support for him is giving him the endurance to push through this and you are drawing your strength in his love for you. How much time is he spending with this mom these days? Does he go live with her on a regular basis?
Hope things shine brighter in your life and all your troubles go away some day.

Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 603
L
LoneWlf Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 603
How much time is he spending with this mom these days? Does he go live with her on a regular basis?

Sia - thanks for you kind words and support. Unfortunately S still refuses to acknowledge his mom. I'm pretty sure she still texts him (he hasn't mentioned it lately). I don't think he responds to her. Aside from the one time he went over to have dinner - he has never asked or mentioned spending time there. I am fully aware that a healthy R with W will help him heal. Again that is when he feels fit and on his timeline. W texts me probably once a week to get updates on S. I try to keep it simple and positive. Next month S will be playing at his Christmas concert- again he requests that W not come. Not much I can do except give him all the love and support I can. Anyways I need to keep my PMA. With Love to all- Blessings!


M51 w50
T-20Yrs M-16Yrs
S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up
1 Awesum dog
BD 10/31/17
separate rooms 02/08/18
wife moved out 05/17/18

Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,136
Likes: 19
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,136
Likes: 19
That“s the attitude LW. Stay strong man!


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 603
L
LoneWlf Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 603
Thanks Neff- I don't think I have posted on your thread but I gotta say you are


M51 w50
T-20Yrs M-16Yrs
S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up
1 Awesum dog
BD 10/31/17
separate rooms 02/08/18
wife moved out 05/17/18

Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 603
L
LoneWlf Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 603
I meant to say neff- you are a DB guru-- I don't believe I have seen a negative comment from you - THANK YOU BROTHER!!


M51 w50
T-20Yrs M-16Yrs
S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up
1 Awesum dog
BD 10/31/17
separate rooms 02/08/18
wife moved out 05/17/18

Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 816
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 816

LoneWlf, I get the impression that all you want is to hear is you are doing well. Okay, personally I don't see where that's helpful, but I respect it.


M 53 W 54, M since 98
D15, D19
8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM
until 10/14
7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR
12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.

Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,136
Likes: 19
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,136
Likes: 19
We help each other here man. So we bring our PMA. But be aware that if I have to say something to bring you to earth I will man, I will. Detaching is a process that takes time and involves your PMA. So whether things are going good or wrong, that attitude makes the difference and lets you move forward.

I“m not a DB guru, in fact I“m a former wayward husband who had the chance to mend the things. I will always be grateful for having found this forum.


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 94
S
sia Offline
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 94

LW, just stopped by to say hi, how are things going for you?

Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 603
L
LoneWlf Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 603
Hello DB family,

Just a bit of journaling. Things remain pretty much the same. Work has been Super busy with the Dec 31st deadline. I'm still working on 2 new projects. The owner my supervisor, has shows signs of instability and a short fuse. While in I was his office he was on speaker with another employee. Emotions quickly escalated between the other employee and my boss and soon there was cussing and swearing. Then my boss says you are fired bring me all the company equipment. I was there to witness this whole debacle. Shortly after this happened the two began to text and made up. apparently from others in the office this has happened many times before. The next day I spoke with my boss . I mentioned that it is his company so that things should be ran as he sees fit. I also mentioned that it is ok to have a different opinion than someone else - at times diversity can strengthen a team. It is ok to be upset with errors or mistake. The I said it is NOT ok to disrespect someone. I then said if he were ever to show me disrespect the conversation ends at that point and i will walk away. If and when he can talk to me like an adult then the conversation will resume. He said he would respect my views and it was good that I brought it up.

Last weekend I went with S to visit my friend the priest that married me and my W. We shared lunch together it was a nice celebration to celebrate Family and friends. S continues to keep plugging away and do well in school.

This past weekend I had a brief interaction with my W she came by the house to go thru the garage and pick up some Christmas decorations. She looks very aged. In the process the conversation was light and cordial. Mostly about how S is doing. She asked about an old typewriter from her aunt that was in the basement so I went to get it. As I came out my dog followed me- funny how this guy is most friendly with EVERYBODY but he just went about his thing and avoided her. She even tried to call him and he would not stop following me. As she was packing her bags she mentioned to me that we need to figure out a separation agreement and the possibility of selling the house. I just validated and said I see you want to complete the process and I will not deter you from what you are doing.- I will also let you know I will not be doing anything because it goes against my morals and values and simply ended the conversation at that.

After mass Sunday we had a brunch to celebrate the beginning of Advent. we have 4 masses on the weekend so a lot of people who know my family did not know I had been separated. When the asked about my W I just told them to pray for my family. I did get a lot of compliments on how well and healthy I looked. One older lady who know my sitch - says such a handsome man with a great boy you will be such a good prize for somebody. I just smiled and said I put it in Gods hands.

For now things are ok. I truly miss my family during this time. It was Christmas time that my W and I met. I even invited her to spend Christmas with my family when she was alone because she was working and her family lived far away. I even tried to make Christmas magical for my family - playing off the Santa themes and going as far as potting carrots cookies and milk out for Santa and his crew. At one point we made secret Santa sparkles that we sprinkled on the lawn only to find half eaten carrots and deer prints there. I truly miss these moments where family becomes the primary focus. I would always really put the fortitude and effort into the gifts just to see that smile or level of excitement or the emotion of WOW! you really know who I am and thought about me. For this year it will be all about my S. I have already bought him a new baseball glove because he needs one . I will also get him some new skates so that we can spend afternoons at the arena or an outdoor rink. No matter what , I will attempt to make this a magical Christmas for him and I to remember and cherish.

Thank you all for your love and support on this extended journey- Blessings!


M51 w50
T-20Yrs M-16Yrs
S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up
1 Awesum dog
BD 10/31/17
separate rooms 02/08/18
wife moved out 05/17/18

Joined: May 2018
Posts: 953
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 953
LoneWolf,

Thanks for the update. It sounds like you are doing well. The holiday season with all its focus on family and the memories it brings can be hard to deal with for anyone who is struggling. However, your focus on making it a special experience for your son is absolutely the right path. As much as the gifts, it is the time that you spend with him that will strengthen the bond and help create new memories.

May the holiday season bring you and your son many blessings!


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
Page 9 of 11 1 2 7 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard