SBJ, I never answered this post you wrote but thought about it a lot. Thought about you dating and how that fits in with faith.
I have no idea what God wants of me at this point but I know I don't want to start a life with someone or expose my kids to the whole life of stepfamilies. I feel that I was called to my faith, not that I chose it, and my beliefs about my marriage were a big part of the calling. I guess I am waiting for God to show me what is next, and a lot of time I am just trying to trust Him or asking Him to accept me as I am, even when I am losing faith and trust. But I do not want to be a nun, and if God is expecting a lifetime of chastity from me, I am not ready for that either. All I have come up with so far is that I will probably do some dark things that my kids never see but I will not bring anyone into their lives.
Sometimes I still think that God could heal my H, even though he seems too far gone, and even though I have a lot of trouble praying for him anymore, or wanting any of his hell to touch even my pinky toe.
SBJ, I often think of you. Sending you courage and strength, whatever comes next for you....
Last edited by Gerda; 11/30/1901:49 AM.
I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord with courage. Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
Re: From the other side (#10)
#2875261 12/09/1901:09 AM12/09/1901:09 AM
Garda, thanks for the comments. I agree that God can heal even the most sour of souls, but I also think that we are made to be social creatures. It's a slippery slope that I am still trying to navigate. I also agree that I don't want to introduce anyone else to my kids, but the ex has already done that and that relationship crumbled weeks ago. So my kids saw their mother leave her marriage and have a serious relationship crumble. What a role model she has become in that regard.
Garda, I think our problem is that we rely on God for every other part of our lives, but we lose patience with regard to His place in our prodigals lives. Maybe I also need to refocus my goals and aspirations.
I'm leaving this week as part of another men's retreat team...this will definitely help me refocus on God's will.
I pray you all have a wonderful Christmas Holiday!!!
Me 46 W43 T25 M22 S19 D14 S10 W had EA Apr-Jul 2016 Dropped Bomb 7/9/16 ILYBINILWYA HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17 Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!