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Neffer,

This is the first time I have seen your story. Thanks for being open enough to share your missteps and errors with us, it provides a great perspective of the other side of the story. There aren't too many WHs on this forum that I can think of. I can only imagine how hard it is to fight the shame.

Also, I wanted to thank you for giving so much support to the newcomers on here who are still very lost on their journeys,(and those of us who are not so new, but still a bit lost!) It really helps.

¿Estás en la eeuu ahora o todavía en la tierra del mate?

D


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
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neffer Offline OP
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Thanks for passing by D. We are all a little lost in life, what’s important is to keep moving maintaining our values.

I live in the land of mate D. Mate, fútbol (soccer) y el asado. Have you tried it?


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
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¡Cómo no!

I have had my share of goodies from la parilla, although in recent years I have mainly given up red meat. El bife de chorizo was my favorite when I lived down there.


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
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Thanks for sharing. My H has said he feels so damaged by his affairs. I wish he could read your post. Perhaps he is doing his own searching and will find similar words of encouragement to help him deal with whatever demons he has - and they are significant, I think. I am praying that he uses this time apart for self-reflection. He has a wife that wants to give him grace and start a "new" marriage together. I don't know if he will ever be receptive to that.


M: 56
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neffer Offline OP
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Hi Grace, thank you for your post. Your H must want to do his own search, as you said. Be patient and keep DB.

My best wishes for you and your family.


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Originally Posted by Davide
¡Cómo no!

I have had my share of goodies from la parilla, although in recent years I have mainly given up red meat. El bife de chorizo was my favorite when I lived down there.



The “bife de chorizo” is called “entrecot” in my country. I live cruzando el charco, get it D?


WW H(me): 53
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Sip. Te entiendo.

You're making me want to visit again! I'm looking at international schools for next year, so who knows?


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
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neffer Offline OP
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Well, if you can do it you have a place waiting for you here where I live. It happens to be the place that all the people of the country you visited want to go for summer holidays...they say we have the best beaches of South America...(I personally prefer Brazil... but well I live here...)


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Ah... I get your "point." It is pretty far to the east, no?


W 34 Me 42
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BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
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Hi Neffer,

It's really helpful to hear a different perspective from your thread and contributions here. One thing I wonder is if you feel you're being fair to yourself, OW, and your wife by returning to your wife if you feel that OW is your true love and soulmate? I'm just wondering because clearly you thought returning to your wife is the right thing to do, and I agree that it is, but it must be painful for all of you to be in the positions you're in knowing that you and OW still have feelings for one another. Do you still see OW at work or anywhere in real life? Does your wife seem to feel happy and content to have you back? I'm just curious....thanks again for sharing!

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